As I was getting ready to leave this morning (heading outside to warm up the car at 6am), I heard Kyle crying. I left my boots and ran upstairs where I found him standing by my side of the bed, holding onto his blankies and stuffies with Chantale trying to console him. I asked what was wrong and she answered, “you” which of course meant that he had gotten up to come see me and I was already gone.
Doesn’t that kind of break your heart a little?
I picked him up (and all his stuffies!) and hugged him to me, asking if he had wanted a hug-and-a-kiss. He answered yes and I told him I didn’t know he wanted one before I left for work. So, I snuggled him and took him back to his bed, snuggling him again into his blankets.
I went back downstairs to get through my routine (getting coffee and toast ready while the car warmed up and then driving off) and thought about what all that means to me. And then I realized something (which might seem like a “duh” moment, but sometimes when you’re just living through life, you don’t always have the time to analyze). When I hug/ kiss my wife good-bye in the morning, I know that, barring any extreme situations, when I see her again at night, she will be the same person. With children, however, the feeling is different. When you come home at night, you could almost tell that they are just a little bit LESS small than in the morning. Each new day brings with it new adventures, new learning, and new knowledge/ growth/ etc. So, the little baby you hug in the AM, will be less of a baby in the PM. It may be minuscule, but that’s why looking back after a week you can see a noticeable difference.
And that’s what we subconsciously try to hang on to in those morning hugs. That little bit of innocence that you know will slowly start to evaporate when you’re not around…
Sigh. Now I’m blubbering. What a sap. Kind of dangerous to do this at work. People tend to look at you strangely if you’re all emotional in the mornings 🙂
“As long as you’re here, I’m invincible” – Chantal Kreviazuk