The New Floodgates of the Mind

I PASSED MY LOMA 330 EXAM!!! 83% !!

After only getting to hit the books at home at 5pm and trudging through all the material until midnight… getting up at 5:45am in order to have at least one hour more to review the book… it’s a very satisfying feeling 🙂

Ahhh… I need to celebrate now 🙂

I had spoken too soon (of course I knew it was jinxed the moment I mentioned the stats were running well). My biggest (or most important) Webtrends report kept crashing with a GPF and it took a bit of guesswork and tweaking to get it to finally go. But it finished so I can begin the overnight processes and take off to go home and study! 3 hours later than expected, but I have to take what I can, right?

Of course, now I’ll have to wait and see once the calls come in asking for explanations and further clarification on the numbers and activity reported upon… *sigh* 🙂

Lots of random thoughts today. Bear with me:

– First of the month! Stats Day = busy busy morning. Happily, no major issues with them so far meaning it won’t take me the entire day to complete. Yay 🙂

– James had his first official baseball game yesterday. His team won 12-8 against the same team they beat 27-9 on Saturday’s practice. They’re a good bunch of kids who seem to really enjoy it which makes it fun to watch. James, of course, is somewhat of a ham with a constant huge smile on his face. He started getting the nickname of “The Kamikaze Kid” due to some funny encounters with the ball yesterday 🙂

– This weekend was really good kid-wise. We tried camping outside Friday night but by 3am we called it a night and came to our nicely warm beds. It was just too cold out there! Saturday I was at James’ practice game while Melyssa stayed home with Chantale and mostly played outside. Chantale gave our Patio a good washing (in preparation for staining of the wood) and cleared out the garage. She’s quite efficient, I’ll tell ya, and still manages to amaze me 🙂

Saturday night her parents came over and we had a really good supper. Sadly, her grandmother called us near the end of it to inform us that their Uncle had died (the one who went into a coma earlier this week). 58 years young. That’s just not right. That night I was in no frame of mind to go anywhere and thus we stayed over again, always conscious of the fact that the huge “issue” exists about Melyssa sleeping at my house now that we have a dog. I’ll deal with any repurcussions later.

– a few things about this weekend: 1- Melyssa confided that she’s been having constant nightmares of her being in the center of a huge black tornado with the faces of her mother and doctors spinning around her yelling at her about dogs. Not surprisingly, her mother’s voice is the loudest. 2- Melyssa had a hugely emotional moment Saturday night when I asked her if she was scared of anything (as she had gotten very quiet at bedtime). She explained how she doesn’t like the word “scared” and whenever she hears it, she GETS scared and then she gets really SAD. *very deep sigh* My poor little baby… emotionally scarred worst than I could have feared… 3- Her allergy results were given to me. Again, unsurprisingly, her allergy to cats is huge (5/25) compared to dogs (4/10). We also found out she has a huge allergy to horses (10/40). My understanding is that the first number is the size in milimeters of the welt that appeared at the testing spot on her arms and then another measurement after 15 minutes. To me, this proves that her allergies to dogs isn’t THAT big and especially when you consider that Bichon Frises have SO much less dander as to almost be negligible. Heck, if she were to be licked by a Collie or German Sheppard, she’s immediately break out. She’s CONSTANTLY being licked by Casey and NOTHING happens to her. Again, more fear-mongering from her mother.

Other high allergy: ALTERNARIA (Alternaria spores are one of the most common and potent indoor and outdoor airborne allergens. Additionally, Alternaria sensitization has been determined to be one of the most important factors in the onset of childhood asthma. Few fungal taxa can match the global impact of Alternaria on humans and human activities.) ASPERGILLUS (Aspergillus is a group of moulds, which is found everywhere world-wide, especially in the autumn and winter in the Northern hemisphere. Moulds are also called filamentous fungi.) CLADOSPORIUM (A genus of mold which can be found within indoor environments.)

Wow. Makes you wonder what’s gonna kill her first, hm?

– LOMA 330. My exam is tomorrow morning. I haven’t really had time to study properly. A little encouraging is the fact that I took the pre-test (after not being to a class in 2 months and not having touched the book in 3 months!) and got a 67%. Not too far from a passing grade. With some good cramming tonight I should be ok tomorrow. …I hope…

Oh, why not?

Kinky? Oh BE-Have! 🙂

It’s funny. Back in December 2003, I gave a presentation to my Team basically summarizing our year and where we’re going in the new (current) year. The theme I presented to them (as I’ve mentioned before) was: Make IT Happen. It became a motto quite close to our hearts as we honestly felt (and still feel) that we are in a position to DO things and by extension, to do anything. It’s on our walls, on our coffee mugs, and on my padfolio. So, obviously, many have seen it. Lately, I’ve heard way too many other people in other teams use that phrase as an action item. It’s taken me aback slightly and where at first I felt good about it I now wonder that it’s going to become a tired cliche. The last thing I want is for anyone trying to Make IT Happen actually going about Making SHIT Happen.

What can I tell you? I take my mottos/ mantras to heart. 🙂

In other news… Chantale is taking me to see Blue Rodeo up at Bourbon North on June 26th!! 🙂 We love the band and this will be my second time seeing them live AND outdoors!! 🙂 I haven’t read the line-up yet but I’m hoping they’ll be as good (or better in the case of Sara Hopper) as they were last time.

Tuesday strikes like a Monday, it seems. This has been a day of “woahs” for me. First, I get a phone call from Chantale telling me that her co-worker who gave birth 2 days ago has had her baby checked into the Royal Vic due to a problem with its lungs. Seems the little tyke is hooked up to a machine to help it breathe.

Then, within an hour, a co-worker tells me that his sister, who recovered from breast cancer a few years ago has now been diagnosed as having general cancer throughout her body and the family is discussing preparations. She’s 36 with two kids.

Just now, I finally read the news about Richard Biggs (Doctor Stephen Franklin from Babylon 5) passing away the morning of May 22nd. I met him back in ’97 and found him to be a really nice and friendly guy; very warm and out-going. I have a shot of the two of us from Primedia 1997 and even wrote a review of his panel for The Zocalo newsletter.

Just feeling a little… “woah” about it all. Life is such a fragile thing…

Last night, my wife and I finally got to watch the series finale. She’s new to the Bablyon 5 world but is lucky enough to have been given the chance to watch all the episodes in order thanks to the wonderful world of DVDs. Many times I would tell her how envious I was of her since (a) when I watched it on TV, the weekly and sometimes monthly waits between episodes were excruciating and (b) knowing what I knew was coming up, I could easily imagine the ride she would be in for. Within a few episodes, she was really amazed at how incredibly different and intelligent the series was and became a devoted fan.

And yesterday, watching the last episode on the last disk of Season 5, we were once again blown away. Regardless of the sometimes choppy quality of the final season, the powerful impact of that last episode was of a magnitude so immense that it had the both of us in tears. The power of the Sheridan/ Delen romance made their farewell so bittersweet and poignant that we could not help but be moved. The image of Delen reaching over to touch where John used to lay, and then turning completely to crush his pillow to her as she curled into a ball said so much without a single word.

How truly blessed have we fans been? JMS created a world so intricate and beautiful that we could not help being captivated. His characters and the actors who portrayed them were so believable we could not help but be pulled into their struggles and live through them. And now, years later, we have the chance to own the entire collection and immerse ourselves whenever we want. I could be greedy and say how it would be great to see more, but in hindsight, what we have already (especially when you add the extra knowledge gleamed from incredible books like the Psi-Corp and Centauri trilogies) is truly incredible.

(cross-posted to my personal journal)

So yesterday afternoon was the Volunteers Tea at my kids’ school. I was invited again this year and was more at ease than my first year. Spent most of the time talking with my fellow Parent Council members and had a nice time. Near the end of the get together, I get introduced to James’ teacher who immediately tells me that she and my daughter’s teacher had been looking for me! She goes and gets her and we’re finally introduced. They both take a seat next to me and we begin talking about the kids and how they’re doing and how much they love Chantale (James often talks about the Wedding, Melyssa always ensures that whenever it’s an appropriate special day (birthday or Mother’s Day) that she makes something for her, etc) and it is great to hear.

Melyssa’s teacher tells me about how well she’s doing and then we go on to discuss the current situation with her mother. Strangely enough, the teacher is in the same boat as her husband (also a Mike) has a child from a previous union and thus all the horror stories Chantale and I live through are reflected in them as they go through very similar ones! All the while we’re discussing some of the things I had to go through (financial difficulties, courts taking the mother’s side on every issue, etc), James teacher is in complete shock. Ah, the joy of ignorance. I, too, truly wish I didn’t know ANYTHING about custody issues. What a lovely boat that would be to ride in. Anyhow, it was very nice to be able to discuss things with someone who is ALSO living through it.

James’ teacher told me a bit about what he was doing and when I mentioned that the only thing I know of what he does comes from his pink notes, she waved them away and said, “those notes are just a small part of life. James is really a bright kid, he’s smart, very outgoing, helpful,” and she continued for a bit more 🙂 I brought up his reading and she exclaimed how great a reader he is. Melyssa’s teacher also chimed in on how he’s a great reading buddy (the grade 4 kids help the grade 1 kids with their reading) and I also commented on how much he enjoys doing that.

So, overall, I was hoping to have some time to speak with them, but I was overjoyed to have been able to actually sit and converse! In fact, I feel like I got more out of them than a couple of years worth of official 5-minute Parent/Teacher regular interviews! 🙂 Plus, the fact that they came looking for me was really, really nice. 🙂

A crown lies heavy on the head of a King… just as responsibilities lie heavy on the shoulders of a Leader… Some days, it’s really rough being in charge of a Team…

moving on…

Guess what we did yesterday? Gardening! Really! Chantale had a doctor’s appointment so she was home during the afternoon and decided to get started. She picked up flowers and soil and set up the hanging baskets on our patio as well as spreading fertilizer on the grass. When she picked me up at the Train, we headed back and picked up more soil. We hung up a bird feeder next to the house and installed a bird feeder on the grass. I weeded under the patio deck as the first step to trying to fix it up under there while Chantale cleared away some dead grass around it. Then, we headed to the front and ripped up a large patch of grass where we plan to install a nice flower garden. We’ve got some plans and are slowly getting through them which is a lot of fun.

After a nice meal, we relaxed in front of the tube and watched The Bachelor finale as well as the second-to-last episode of Babylon 5 🙂 A relaxing way to end the evening indeed.

This afternoon, I’m heading to my kids’ school as they are holding a “Volunteers Tea” to thank all volunteers for their help. Of course, with my being the Recording Secretary (Minute-Man!) of the Parents Council, I was invited to attend. I’m sure it will be as fun as it was last year 🙂 It’s nice to talk calmly with other parents and with the teachers as well 🙂 You tend to get a different take on how the kids are doing in class.

Do you ever feel you’re right on the cusp of something big? Like any minute now, that small ray of light just slightly visible between the blinds and the window sill, will explode with the full brilliance of the sun, knocking you flat on your ass.

It’s an unbelievable and slightly confusing feeling. Almost like being a bi-polar manic-depressive and switching between despair and glee within a matter of minutes.

And yet… and yet, I don’t understand it. I’m overwhelmed and bombarded with negative feelings and fears of negative situations on a constant basis -but only when I’m not busy doing something! I’ve been trying to simply not think that way and concentrate on the good but it hasn’t always helped. Try as I might, it grates me to no end to accept that which is and refuse to allow myself to believe that it must be. I’m too much of the school of belief that there are things that could be instead.

And then this morning, something Stiv Bator once sang came to me (and yes I realize it’s a remake originally recorded by Grass Roots but Stiv’s the one I learned it from):

And an eerie calmness descended upon me. And I could once again think of things (briefly) without the urgent desire to stick a knife in them. And I recognized, once again, that you can’t let go of anger without accepting things in life, however horrible.

Peace in the Valley? Not quite. But maybe one day very soon the moments could last longer than minutes…