Lately, I’ve come to a rather disturbing conclusion in that I find it impossible to do “nothing”. The one thing that so many people long for seems to be something I can not accomplish. I know I used to be able to do this without effort, which is why this bit of news is so disturbing to me.
I’ve tried. Many, many times, have I tried. Especially on weekends. I start each Saturday or Sunday with the best intentions of just getting up, grabbing a toast and coffee, and then sitting down and just reading (that’s truly my definition of doing “nothing” – not having any pressing matters to allow myself the luxury to just “read”). At most, I can get in about an hour’s worth. While also making breakfast for the kids. While also doing some minor kitchen chores. So, in effect, it’s “interrupted” time.
Then, when I get to the bottom of my coffee mug, I suddenly (instinctively?) feel that my time of leisure is up and I have to get cracking on taking care of the household weekend chores (you know the kind). Even when there isn’t anything that requires my immediate attention, I feel guilty about taking any further time to myself. After all, there just aren’t that many hours in a weekend and shouldn’t I be doing something more important with my time? You know, like playing with the kids, or getting outdoors, tackling some renovation chores, maybe groceries, etc, etc?
It’s a little insane if you ask me. The entire work week is so jam-packed that everything happens in that manner: one to-do item after an another being handled, taken care of, rescheduled, or added. Going full-tilt like that from the moment I walk in until the moment I leave (which does not take into account the rushing to get in and the rushing to get home). Heck, just today I walked into my team area and stated how surprised I was to see so many people there during the lunch hour. I was quickly informed that lunch was an hour ago and my brain almost shut down at the fact that 6 hours had already passed since I walked in.
I guess another thing that doesn’t really help is that the evenings fly just as fast. From walking through the door to getting through supper and whatever comes next (twice a week now being soccer for the kids) followed by bath and bedtime, it’s a quick blink of anywhere between 2 and 3 hours. That just doesn’t feel like quality enough time to spend with your family. You see why I’m looking for the Off switch? So we could all just stop (or at least slow down enough) and enjoy the moments that are all too short in life…
Is it any wonder that the best part of our family vacations (that we try hard to ensure we have every year) involve us heading into the “woods” somewhere and spending a long weekend removed from everyday life (including the internet, television, and all those trappings!) so we can recharge ourselves and our family with just a log cabin and our thoughts for company? Whatever the cost, those moments are just priceless…
Now, I just have to hang on for another month before we can enjoy this year’s outing…