Recently, Chantale was referred to in a document as my “conjointe”. There was something that bothered me about that note and I couldn’t quite place it until I got someone to translate the word to see if I understood correctly. I was advised that the closest english term would be “spouse”. Ah. That did it.
In my mind, the proper term to have been used would be “épouse”. Conjointe does not have enough respect. To me, spouse can be used as simply an updated equivalent of “girlfriend”. In other words, it’s just a term – even if married legally by the city or through common-law.
For me, Wife has more meaning, a deeper commitment. I stood up in front of friends, community, and neighbours and told all assembled that this was the woman I wanted to share my life with – wholly and fully.
How is this different than the first time? Easy. What I wrote at the end of the previous paragraph. Wholly and Fully. That was definitely not the case the first time. Definitely too many issues which should not have brought us to the aisle.
With Chantale, and as corny as the old song seems, I truly was “born again”. I once again became who I remembered myself being. Someone who believed in miracles, in fairy tales, in love, in happiness. Someone who was worth loving and who had worth. After 7 years of being married (and over 11 years together) I still can’t stop “trumpeting” that truth. She is a truly wonderful, loving, caring, and beautiful person.
She is my Wife.