This year has been a continous challenge and it doesn’t seem to stop. Some days it’s all downright frustrating which is why I’ve tried to stay offline a lot. I remember having a chat with a friend (hey friend! i miss you!) about how journals in particular are not really “set up” in such a way as to share Good News. Maybe it’s just the makeup of it all, but there’s a feeling of sorts that comes over a person sitting at a computer typing out a journal entry. Venting/ sharing/ just letting the crap out seems to come much more natural than being all crazy/ happy. Note, I’m saying “normally”. I’ve always tried to keep the positives flowing – even though I do find it easier to whine/ bitch/ moan/ complain through a journal. Heck, it was how I used to do it offline via a private electronic “diary”. That’s probably where it all comes from. Anyhow, all this to say that I might ramble a little… and it won’t all be positive.
First, an adimission. I’ve been an Ass. Yup. This past week especially – I’ve been very irritated and irritable. I’ve been trying to stay calm but I’m constantly frustrated/ angry/ hateful at shit flying around and it’s making me beyond grumpy. Unfortunately, some of my growling has happened at home which unfair. Sorry, love.
A second admission. I had to face facts this week. The blinders were unceremoniously ripped from my eyes and I took a hard and painful look at my finances. There’s much I can’t afford and many bills to pay. Two weeks ago I cut my LCS pull-list by 15 titles. That’s quite a number and it was painful but probably not painful enough. I’m taking another look at it this week to see what else can be trimmed. Every little bit counts.
Yesterday, I cancelled my hotel reservation for the PCTCC. This means I won’t be there when the 2nd Shuster Awards are handed out. That stinks and stings. It can’t be helped. I normally calculate a max of $500 (to keep myself in line) for a weekend convention out of town – thinking $300 for lodging, $100 for gas, and $100 for spending. Unfortunately, that money is needed elsewhere. Sure I can make other arrangements, but there’s too much other stuff going on so I’ve made the harsh decision to bail.
Update on Francisco: He suffered another relapse last week. Again, a similar situation where he was in much improved health and then attempted some solid food. Next morning, bam. Unfortunately this time his psuedo-cyst got infected and they had to hook him up to drain it. He’ll be carrying that drain for at least 6 weeks. He’s also on blood thinner in hopes to get that embolism in his lungs to shrink away. He’s obviously very very fed up but again… all we can do is wait.
Speaking of illnesses… I have found out that a lot of folks I work with are suffering through family health issues. Some of them nagging, others quite tragic. It’s emotionally draining… I just care too damn much.
On the good side, at least I can state that my own work’s been rather involved. Tough, busy, but constantly learning and being involved. I spoke with my Manager to iron out my role which was a very positive step. Things are finally falling into place even though there’s an immense amount of activity going on around me. Can’t say I’m not looking forward to a short break, though. I had already booked the weekend of the PCTCC 2006 so although I won’t be in Toronto, I’ll at least not be at work either…
One final note before I go offline again: I was putzing around yesterday and decided to add a few online games to The Savage Land. This was mainly for my kids but you know… sometimes you just need to play Tic Tac Toe and can’t find a partner… 🙂 Anyhow, if you head over to http://www.savageland.com/games/ you’ll see what I mean. Speaking with Chantale this morning she reminded me that I also have access to a number of flash animation games. I’ll probably add those tonight if I can make the time 🙂
Okay, that’s it for me. Coffee beckons.