As some of you know, Chantale’s uncle passed away yesterday. He was her mother’s younger brother, aged 46. The way it happened is another story altogether but the main point is… he’s gone. Now, his two sons (14 and 10) are left without a dad. He’ll never get to see them graduate, get their driver’s license, bring home their first girlfriends, or a million other things dad’s normally get to do with their kids. Sure, he’ll be “there”, watching from the other side, but there’s quite a big difference between being “there” and being “here, now” if you know what I mean.
The family’s having a rough time dealing with everything but the pieces are finally falling into place. There will be an exposition on Monday, a cremation on Tuesday, and a service on Wednesday. Chantale’s parents are driving to Guelph tomorrow and will be back on Thursday. It’s a little more difficult on us in terms of logistics so we’re still not sure what we’re going to do.
The last time we saw him was back in August. It was about the third time the family had come down for a visit since our Wedding back in 2003. Obviously, I’ve only known them for a few years but I got along well with them and enjoyed our chats. I was especially proud of the fact that I had gained his respect in regards to how hard I had fought to still be an integral part of James and Melyssa’s lives after my divorce in 1999. As he had put it, it’s usually so much easier to let it go. The fact that I didn’t let them go made me a man in his eyes.
It’s quite sad. I’ve been strong for everyone since the news came even though it ripped me up to see my wife, her sister, and her mother so (literally) torn up about it all. We had gone over to her parents last night and stayed there till past midnight. After we got home, we didn’t get to bed until about 2am, obviously making for a rough morning. They’re all coping in their own way and although it’s been touch-and-go with Chantale today, it’s been mostly good. So, that leaves me free to finally let the pain in. Big boys might not cry, but Men accept the fact that we’re entitled to hurt, too.
Here’s a picture of him (in the center) with his oldest son on his right, hugging my father-in-law on his left. This was taken in August 2003 at my Wedding reception.
Good-bye Joerg Heinze. For obvious reasons, you’ll never be forgotten.