Last night Chantale and I went to our first “Parent Information Session” at the local CLSC. It was all about preparing for the changes that being pregnant brings as well as information on proper Nutrition. It was a really good session and we didn’t even notice the 2 hours fly by! During part of it, we were given life-size rubber models of the fetus in various points of its growth (5 weeks, 10 weeks, 20 weeks, 30 weeks) so we can actually SEE how much change occurs in such a short time. Let me tell you, holding that 20 week fetus in one full hand was really an incredible feeling. In fact, it made me want to share something. I’ve been kicking around this letter for a while now and figured this was just the spark to get me to finally type it up.
Dear Little Baby,
So, you’re a boy! Imagine my surprise to learn that at Mommy’s last ultrasound! I was so certain you were going to be a girl that I had the technician repeat it a few times to make sure I heard correctly. Please understand that I am not disappointed in this bit of news, just simply surprised. After all the dreams and visions I’ve had these last few months of a little girl with long black hair, a part of me was expecting her to be you! Of course, all things considered, that could very well HAVE been you telling me that although you are a boy, you will be born with a very sensitive side. How appropriate, then, that you’ll be a reflection of me 🙂 The first thought that came to my head after that announcement was “Wow. James really needs you in his life for you to come now!” And that thought comforted me because I know that James and Melyssa already love you and can’t wait to greet you.
Boy, or Girl, it doesn’t really matter. You were conceived in love and you will be raised that same way. You’ll find that your Mother and I have an abundance of love to give and, lucky you, you’ll be the main recipient 🙂 Life will be quite the adventure and throughout the good times and the bad times you will learn that we will be your staunchest supporters. We will be here to guide you, teach you, play with you, sing to you, work with you, and most importantly, love you. You will definitely learn how powerful Love truly is and just how many things can be accomplished when you’re surrounded by a positive and loving family.
Every night, as I lie there next to your Mother, my hand on her belly feeling you moving around, I wonder. I know I’ll be a good Father and I’ll always be there to protect you from all harm. But I do wonder how you’ll enjoy being on the “outside”. How you’ll look when you sleep. How you’ll smile when you hiccup. How you’ll cuddle into me when I cradle you. I wonder if you’ll feel safe and happy. I wonder at how you’ll play with James, Melyssa, and Casey. And I wonder how life will be like as we all become planets to your little sun – revolving around you and surrounding you with warmth and caring.
And, as I drift slowly to sleep, I know one thing is true: no matter how much I may wonder, there will be nothing like the Wonder that will be You…