Lots on my mind. Actually affecting my writing. This was the first FF piece that went over 5 rewrites. I didn’t like cutting it down by close to 100 words. The MC’s frustration doesn’t seem apparent enough. But, it’s out there now. You be the judge.
[ My Eyes Burn: I Can See You Gasp – March 8, 2005]
Solitude does not exist for me. I can never find a spot far enough removed from humanity to be alone. I don’t like talking loud in public and can’t understand when others do. Being on a train guarantees that I will have no peace, but I accept that. When you got on, I took no notice of you. When you started talking on your phone – loud, obnoxious, as though you were the only one around – everyone did.
“Oh I love Pilates! My sister regrets not taking it and now she hurt her back and the doctor had to fuse part of her spine,” you ramble on with no care or concern for anyone.
I hold my anger in check until I can take no more and you finally look my way. My eyes burn as I see fingers locked tightly around your throat, your bloated face gasping for breath. There’s not enough air to allow you to squeak much less cough as you fight off the arms pinning you down until your eyes go back into your head and you slump forward dead.
You gasp in shock and finally shut up when you see me smile. The hands were mine.
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