Everything feels surreal tonight…
As much as we had an incredible night, with Charlize sleeping from 930pm through to 530am (she didn’t wake up after we gave her her medication at midnight!) feeding for a bit, then sleeping again until 830am, and then another nap after feeding, finally getting up at 1030am!
I had spent the morning working on Comicopia while all this happened (as I decided to stay up at 830am since my brain was way too fuzzy). With such a late start to the morning, it’s no wonder the afternoon whizzed by. However, pretty soon we had picked up Kyle from his guardian and it was just fantastic to hug him again 🙂 On our way back home, we stopped at the pharmacy to get Charlize’s meds filled and… they didn’t have the necessary ingredients to mix us a batch! A half hour of frantic calls later, I found that the Pharmaprix downtown had everything but it might take up to 2 hours to prepare. Although we had enough for another day, I just didn’t want to risk waiting on any other pharmacy and thus after Kyle went to bed, I headed back downtown to place the order and wait. Lucky for me, it only took 20 minutes so instead of getting back home at midnight, I was home at 10pm!
Since then, though, I’ve been feeling a little wired. Granted the drive home kind of got to me as I started thinking more on her upcoming surgery and the image of her going THROUGH it always nails me in the gut. There’s like a huge lump/ hole in my stomach which causes me to tear up at almost any moment. The fact that I’m supposed to be going back to work on Monday sure as hell seems like light-years away… And yet, I have personal and professional committments that I want to keep as well. I figure if I have to be downtown anyway, I may as well step away from the hospital for a few hours and get some work done/ make some money. $15/day on parking, plus gas travel, plus food really adds up quickly…
I tried to watch a movie tonight but switched it off after 10 minutes. Just couldn’t keep my attention. Read a bunch of comics and they all seemed to be going through the motions themselves. There’s just some kind of… I don’t know… “link”? missing today. I don’t know if it’s the 5 hours of sleep, the whirlwind of activity trying to get the house back in order after being away for 6 days, the emotional turmoil we’re going through, or something else that’s just burning right through me…
Whatever. One day at a time.
Tomorrow Kyle has his 2-year checkup. Which means, unfortunately, that he’ll be due to get more vaccinations. Which means more worries/ fears about side effects. Charlize, of course, will not be getting her 2-month vaccines. Not with an impending surgery! We’ll be seeing James and Melyssa on Friday when we go visit my folks (who haven’t seen them or Kyle in a while now!). It’ll be good for everyone to spend a bit of time with Charlize, too. I’m not too sure how they’re handling the surgery – I just know that James very much wants to be “there” for her (as witness his insistence at going to visit her in the Hospital this week when he found out we had been admitted). We want to make sure they’re okay and answer any questions they may have. I can imagine how scary it is for them, especially considering how scary it is for US – and we’re *very* well-informed as to what this all is and what it will be like.
Anyhow, midnight is here. Time for her meds and then sleep. And perchance, to dream…