Headache again, already. That makes 3 days in a row now… Glad those Advil Liqui-Gels Migraine are so effective… I just hate how totally useless in thinking/making decisions I am when I’m trying to ignore the pounding of my brain…
brain…
brains….
…
Why can’t I just make a living as a “Person of the world?” You know, just spend every day walking around, meeting people who would ask for my help on everything from a technical problem to holding up a ladder to cutting costs to cutting branches to psychological evaluations to rescuing kittens from trees (because you know trees have a voracious appetite!)… Yeah, that sounds like a plan. Get the government or NATO (why not?) to pay me for being friendly, intelligent, and capable. Then, every morning I’ll wake up, check my email account (mikeoftheworld@savageland.com) for any request, prioritize them, and head off to do my good deeds. And if there are no requests, well, I’ll get paid anyways because I do have to live, you know.
How many threesomes sit around the bridge table every night waiting for a fourth in order to play a game? I’ll do it! How many lonely old men sit at park benches staring at those chess pieces that won’t move without someone else? I’ll do it! How many sad chefs are trying to create their next culinary masterpiece and don’t have anyone to taste them and express what works and what doesn’t? I’ll do it! How many illiterate people wish they could write a nasty email to someone but don’t know how? I’ll do it! How many fashion designers are looking for someone to give them an HONEST critique of their work? (potato sacks are in you moron!) I’ll do it!
Do you see where I’m going with this? What more credentials do you need? I’m the answer to all your problems.
Mike Aragona, Savage Knight and Diplomat, Man of the World
…now if only my head would just stop throbbing…