Sanity. IN or OUT?

It struck me last night that I’ve been having a rather difficult time de-stressing lately. With all that it seems that needs doing, and all the whirlwind events going on around me, I haven’t really been able to just STOP and live in the now. Every moment has been an aggravating exercise of looking ahead, at what’s upcoming. I seem to always be living in the 2-weeks from now mode. It’s like every day I’m thinking of the things that have to be done and the meetings/events I have to attend tomorrow, the day after, the day after that, next week. The closest I came to fully unwinding this weekend was late Sunday night as Chantale, her father, and I sat outside in his back yard, enjoying a Monte Cristo with a glass of Porto, chatting while her sister’s boyfriend fed the fire. Once it got late enough and the bloody mosquitos were gone, it was quite tranquil and enjoyable. Since that time (or at least since I woke up Monday morning) it fell back to “gotta get ready, gotta get to work, gotta rush for this, can’t stay late, gotta get home, gotta get to laval and watch the game, tomorrow’s the same except then there’s Parent’s Council, and then and then and then and then… ARGH.

*sigh*

Chantale and I got home pretty much at the same time last night, she from watching Shrek 2 with her dad and sister, me from the final Parent’s Council meeting. I admitted that I was way too restless and just couldn’t unstress properly so she plopped me down on the kitchen floor and we played fetch with Casey. It helped. 🙂 After that, we played a game of Skip-Bo before calling it a night. All that, plus catching the 8:04am train this morning has indeed helped.

Now, I just want to get through the day without thinking too much.


For those interested in New Age Thinking:

Last night before the Council meeting, I went into Melyssa’s classroom so I could see where Casey’s photo was. Her teacher had told me on Friday that they had put it up on their Wall of Fame and I wanted to see it from Melyssa’s desk. When the Council Treasurer and I went into the room, I couldn’t find the picture or her desk. When we were leaving, she pointed out that Melyssa’s picture was turned around on the classroom door, indicating that she was Absent for the day. Immediately, I began to wonder/ worry. Yes, it can’t be helped. It’s an automatic reaction of having to deal with the screeching ex for years. My mind immediately went to the fact that Melyssa had spent the weekend with me. And now, two days later, she was absent from school. The last time this happened was last summer at which point she had ended up spending 3 days in the hospital due to an Asthma attack. Lord, that’s all I needed now.

Of course, my brain kept saying that if something like that had happened, I would have been informed of it. I would have been warned. But, since I didn’t have my cell phone with me, I couldn’t call to verify. 2 hours later I told the Principal about it and we went in search of the teacher’s log book to verify if she was in but we couldn’t find it. We did find that she had not been called in sick/absent and the Principal stated that as it was the end of the year, those pictures at the door sometimes fall off when the kids pass by and it was possible that’s what had happened. My brain said, no call to me and no call to the school, all should be good. But, of course, the brain isn’t quieted that quickly.

Driving home in silence, as I got off the highway, I opened my window. Just in time to have an obviously tipsy guy cross the street in front of me (to get to a Couche Tard) while waving to his friend. My window opens fully and the first words I hear since I left the school over 30 minutes ago was “ne t’enquiet pas!” – don’t worry about it. Hm. A sign. Helped a little. Got home and held a card reading which summarized came to “don’t worry about your pets, they are protected on earth and watched over by Heaven”. Another sign. This morning, I came in to no voicemail messages. When I called the school secretary to confirm all absences of yesterday, she told me Melyssa was not absent.

Phew.

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