I’m pissed.
I just called my brother to wish him a happy 31st birthday. He took the week off so I chatted with him at home. After getting caught up on the formalities, I asked if a decision was made in regards to Alexia’s baptism. He didn’t hear any news yet and is waiting for confirmation for either 12pm or 3pm. The Baptism date? 6 days before my Wedding.
This alone was a minor inconvenience as it is the weekend before the Wedding and Chantale and I will be quite busy taking care of last-minute details. Not to mention that some out of town family will begin arriving. And that, as our last weekend alone together before the event, we were going out of town. But, hey, that’s ok. Family is family after all. I figured I could get the kids to come along for the ceremony and bring them back afterwards – no reason their mother should mind.
So what’s the issue? His wife has a big, fat, cat. Thus, his house has big, fat, cat-hairs all over the place. My daughter has big, fat, cat allergies AND big, fat, ASTHMA. Chantale has cat allergies, too. My brother will be holding the reception at his house after the ceremony. Or rather, it will be in the house if the weather is bad. Otherwise it’ll be outside.
So what’s the problem? He’s upset that we’ll only be going to the ceremony and not the reception, asking if we could simply not bring the kids along. “Are you saying the reception is more important than the ceremony?” I asked. He replies in the negative but states that it’s all part of the “whole thing”. I reiterate that I feel it’s important for my kids to see their cousin being Baptized. If he truly cared about the ceremony, he would understand that.
But, he has no true concept or understanding of what it means to suffer with asthma or allergies. He honestly believes taking a Seldane prior to the event will help. I try to explain that Hay Fever is NOT the same as Asthma or animal allergies. I explain as well that the last time Chantale and I went over and we were in the house, her eyes and face swelled up for 3 days afterwards. And considering we’re getting married a few days later, there’s NO way I want to risk that!! Heck, the last time I had to take Melyssa to the hospital for oxygen was New Year’s Eve. And THAT was simply because when we all gathered at my parents for supper, Melyssa insisted on playing, hugging, and sitting on my brother and his wife who was wearing a woolen sweater. Imagine that. How much big, fat, cat hair do you think was on their clothes? He just doesn’t get it.
Another thing that’s upsetting me right now is that he attempts to come across as a martyr. Alexia has been suffering colic or colic-y problems for months now. He’s lamenting all the troubles they’re going through and how difficult it is to care for a child who’s constantly screaming/ crying, etc, etc, as if *I* have no idea what that means. You think it’s rough holding a baby suffering from severe cramps/ colic and not being able to help? Try holding a baby and child who CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE and is weak from the effort of trying and succeeding only in coughing. Try holding a child who’s listless and pale as a ghost while trying to gently rock them and give them oxygen. Try holding a baby who doesn’t understand WHY they can’t breathe without showing them you’re panicing while you’re attempting to console them. Colic goes away. In a few months they’re not going to be worried about what Alexia does or doesn’t eat. I live with one side-thought on what effect, if any, the actions I undertake will have on my daughter. I don’t panic because I know how to control it. But that doesn’t mean the thought isn’t there.
Ignorance pisses me off to no end. Especially when no attempt is made to destroy the ignorance with knowledge.