Fast Fiction

— The Winner —

John was ready. He had his beers on his left, chips on his right, and a big-screen television in front of him. He'd been waiting long enough, practically screaming at the days to end as they crawled through the week. Tuesday was his night to party.

Tonight was the huge event. The world would finally know the winner on "Who Wants to Bang My Sister". John watched faithfully from the comfort of his home, his couch practically forming itself around him like a triple-chin. He'd spent weeks leering at this new slut, downing his beers and refilling them so he wouldn't have to take a break away from the tube for any reason.

"Oh she is so worth it!" he grunted while manhandling himself, sweat dripping off his fat face, "and I know she wants it!"

The show started and John dug into his chips, beers, and himself, getting more and more worked up. As it got down to the announcement, his sores had sores and the couch was soaked. At the epicenter of his groaning, his eyes bulged, closed, and release came like a thunderclap.

John missed the winner. He would never watch another show again.