Fast Fiction

— The Bellhop —

Last night I saw a Bellhop walking two bulldogs. I stopped and asked him how he felt to be a lackey to the wealthy and if it wasn't already bad enough that he had to hold open their doors and carry their luggage.

He smiled proudly and told me that not only would he get fifty dollars a dog just to watch them take a dump, but that afterwards there would be an even bigger tip. Later, the dogs would get to watch him as he nailed their mistress over a couch.

He puffed out his chest stating how great of a reputation he had and the amount of action he got. I knew he was hiding the fact that while he pounded away to his heart's content, there was probably someone pounding away at him, too. It's funny what gets left out of some stories.

I listened intently, trying not to laugh as one dog whizzed on his shoes. I congratulated him on having such a "great" job and left, sadly shaking my head, trying not to feel sorry for him.

For a Bellhop, he made a really cheap prostitute; and the poor sucker didn't even realize it.