Diary of a Dad - 1998 Journal

Welcome to 1998!! For those of you who've been here before, you know the way I've set this Journal up. For those who don't, here's the recap: I've always wanted to put a short Parenting Journal up on the web, but couldn't decide on the kind of format I wanted. After all, most surfers read whatever comes up on their screen first, and don't always scroll downwards to see what else is on a page. That's why many journal-type pages have the latest entries at the top. The reader in me doesn't like that. It's too much like reading a book in reverse chapter order! So, I've decided to make my journal linear :)

Monday January 12, 1998

Oh Boy!! As anyone who's been keeping track of the news knows, Montreal's been hit with a major ice storm! I've been much luckier than most as our household only suffered a power loss for 25 hours. Thus, we only had to sleep one night without electricity. Lucky for us, my folks (we live above them) have a fireplace so we were able to keep warm during the days with them. It's just incredible how much one can become dependant on electricity. You start to take SO much for granted, and I don't mean just computers! For example, I never carry cash any more. I always use credit or automated tellers. Thus walking in a store and buying something became a little more complicated when I realized, "Duh! They can't process these transactions without electricity!!" (smile). If anything good will come of these very hellish days (for many people) is that everyone works out a plan of action for the future. After all, if it happened once, chances are likely that it'll happen again...

Tuesday January 20, 1998

Daycare is rough on me. James started going to daycare 2 days out of every week a couple of months ago. But, with the holidays and the closures due to the ice storm, he's only actually been there maybe 4 days or so. Well the storm's over and the year begins. Today, I brought him to the daycare. It's the strangest feeling. You want him to go on and grow, and at the same time you don't want him to stop being dependant on you. You want to always be there to protect him and shield him from all harm. And yet, you know that's both selfish and impossible. I've been wanting to take him to the daycare for a while now, but work situations never panned out until today. Yesterday, that's all I thought about. And I felt so sad. I know it takes some time for him to adjust to the fact that he's alone and that he has to learn to play with other children, but it breaks my heart to see him unhappy for any length of time.

Anyway, we spent a few minutes watching tv this morning after our usual breakfast, and then we picked up my mom and headed off. He was happy, talking about going to school and playing with his friends. The walk was a nice short one (as the center is literally on the next block). We got inside and he obviously wanted us to stay a little while so we did. I played with him for about 25 minutes, watching him the whole time. He would look at his toys and play with them, and every now and again, he'd lift his head and look at the other children quickly. The only people he was really happy to see were his teachers! During the playtime I would indicate that I would be leaving soon and the sadness would return to his eyes. Man, I'll tell you, it's really rough trying to keep a smiling face when he's looking like that. Finally, at a proper lull, I told him we were leaving and he gave me a hug and kiss but would only wave to my mom. When we left the room, he came running out to get a kiss from her (smile). He ran back into the room and we put our boots on. Then he rushed back out again to see us. I know it's his way of dealing with the short separation, but...

*Sigh* I guess this is the feeling I'll be having for the rest of my life, eh? (sad smile) As for Melyssa, she came back with the notice that she's still fighting that bacteria which isn't going away. So, she's going to have to take some more anti-biotics (because we can't see the specialist for another 2 months). Life goes on, and now I have to get to work.

Wednesday February 18, 1998

Almost a month since the last entry? Pretty much shows how busy RRSP Season's been keeping me at work. Oh well. I wanted to take this entry to talk about Melyssa, mainly because so many changes have happened to her. But, since I never got around to it, these items, which would have been quite amazing when they first started happening, seem normal now. Still, they're worth repeating.

In a few weeks she'll be 1 year old. She's been walking for the last 2 months now, and her two upper front teeth have finally sprouted. She's always smiling and seems to have a blast walking around the apartment. She loves the water and whenever I'm running her bath, she'll come rushing into the bathroom like a cat to the can opener! After playing in the bath, if I hand her a washcloth, she immediately begins to "wash" her belly and then stands up to wash her legs. It's hysterically cute. When dry (or after she wakes up in the morning) she asks for her bathrobe by pointing and grunting at it and then begins giggling once she's wearing it. Whenever I comb her hair, she hums. Definately images which will always remain dear to my heart :)

Now, the other stuff. Last thursday, her UTI flared up again and she had a 104 fever for the next 3 days. We went to the hospital and the wait was over 6 hours! Her mother stayed with her while I went back home to relieve my mom who'd been babysitting James and at 3:30am, we switched again while I went back to the hospital to pick them up and bring them home. She's back on more antibiotics 3 times a day. But, at least she's been in a great mood since her fever broke on Sunday... Never a dull moment, eh? :)

Sunday March 15, 1998

"Don't go, Daddy! I no want you to go!"

Any father who's heard these words knows how big a chunk of your heart gets eaten upon hearing them. This past week James has been a lot more vocal about not wanting me to leave than ever. Life's been really rough with internal re-structuring at work which has forced me into staying after hours a lot more often which has put strain upon my home life. It strains me emotionally not being able to see them. It strains me physically having to put in so many hours and not getting enough rest. It taxes my mental ability trying to give as much of myself to everyone who needs me. And I'm sure it strains my kids who don't get to see and play with me enough.

"Don't go to work, Daddy! Stay with me. Just a bit! Stay with me!"

It hurts so much not to be able to spend as much time as I want/need. Time is so fleeting that every second is precious. And every minute missed is a sad thing. Friday, I decided to make up some time by leaving work early. It was marvelous! I got to play with James and Melyssa for an hour before supper while their mother rested. After supper, She went out with her best friend and the kids and I continued playing together in the living room for another 2-3 hours. It felt really great. Saturday was spent together all day which was also great. Last night was rough, though. Melyssa seems to have caught another bug and so she whimpered most of the night (which means no sleep for the worried dad). Ah, well. The weather's getting nicer (except for a surprise snowstorm yesterday) and soon the warm weather and sun will help drive away all our ills. I love sunny and warm days! (smile)

Sunday May 24, 1998

I knew it had been a while since I last wrote something here. But I didn't realize 2 months had passed! Yow. I can't even begin to remember what's been going on, so I won't try. I'll just mention a couple of items. Yelling. Lots of it! James and Melyssa seem to have this little conflict going on called "I Want Whatever You're Playing With And The Person Who Yells The Loudest Wins!" Sometimes it can be funny, but most times, it's pretty aggravating. Especially since Melyssa's too young to properly understand and James doesn't think it's fair that he's the one who has to lose out most often. *sigh* Well, it's just another phase they'll grow out of.

Music. I've mentioned often enough how important music is in my life and that was easily passed along to my kids. James is quite good at picking up new tunes and lyrics. Just last week, we were re-watching Disney's Hercules and he knew more words to the songs than I did! I just listened to him sing, in awe. Melyssa's that way, too. Her mother and James usually sing their school songs to her and, although she can't speak yet, hums along with perfect pitch! No words escape her lips, but by her humming you can *easily* figure out which song she's singing. It's so cool (smile)

I re-read my last entry about not spending enough time with the family and I'm happy to report that that did change a little recently. A couple of weeks ago I pretty much reached the end of my rope in terms of not seeing my kids and so I changed my working hours to allow me to sleep in and take them both to daycare when required, or to be able to spend a leisurely breakfast with them before heading off to work. Speaking of breakfasts, our routine has once again changed :) Melyssa has now joined in our (mine and James') breakfast routines. She prefers Lucky Charms and occassionally indulges in some toast. James and I will usually have french toast and cereals (I'll have Frosted Flakes and Quick and he'll have Froot Loops and Quick). Our beverage of choice: Tropicana's Fruit Passion series: Orange/Strawberry/Banana mix. Yummy! (smile)

Monday August 3, 1998

Hm. Another 2 months. You get the feeling time's been a luxory I can't afford any more? Yeah, there is that. Plus there's the summer. Weather much too hot to sit in a room for any length of time! Anyhow, there are a couple of items I want to bring up.

Vacation: We had planned to head over to Niagara Falls and then to MarineLand a few weeks ago. The drive was 9 and a half hours of semi-stress. The kids yelled a lot, out of fatigue, out of excitement, whatever. It was rough. We got to Niagara on a Monday and it was a nice Monday. We explored the hotel, saw the falls and then retired to our room. The weather reports for the next couple of days didn't make us happy, though. Sure enough, waking up on Tuesday, all we heard was "rain" until Thursday. Walking around a theme park in the rain is not fun. So, we made the decision to go back home. We left early and it took us about another 8 hours to get to the kids' grandparents' place in the country. We dropped them off so their mother and I could go back home, do some spring cleaning, and maybe try to relax a little. I also found out that I had left my pager at the hotel in Niagara!!! What a joy getting that little bugger back without having to pay the fines.

Next, SOS Techniques: Two weeks ago, I had my yearly refresher course (thanks to the company I work for) in SOS Emergency Techniques. Last Monday, I got a chance to use it. Basically, everyone here had caught some kind of cold. I was fine and thus went to work. As I was heading into the parking lot, I get paged. Assuming it's because of Melyssa, I call while still in the car. It's Gina telling me she's feeling really weak and dizzy and needs some help. I hang up, head back on the highway, and make my way home. As I'm getting close to the house, I start going over in my mind the techniques which were still fresh from the previous friday. Sure enough, as I walk into the house, I open the door and find her sprawled on the bedroom floor. Rule 1: Take stock of your environment. I saw James on the couch watching tv, but couldn't see Melyssa. I found her playing with the water in the toilet. Brought her into the living room (closing the bathroom door of course) and then stepped into the bedroom to check on Gina. She was conscious and breathing normally. Thus, I didn't have to worry about the ABCs of Emergency (A-check for Air passage, B-ensure person is breathing, C-circulation, ensure a heartbeat). I tried to find out what had happened and slowly learned that she had prepared breakfast for Melyssa and afterwards was feeling dizzy so she went to lie down on the bed. When she heard James get up, she got up from the bed but the dizzy spell got worse and she fainted. Boom went her head. Which explained her massive headache. She didn't have the strength to lift herself up but we did manage to get her into a seated position as I dialled 9-1-1. After giving them the information, I hung up and waited. 20 minutes or so later, they call me back and tell me that they're so strapped that it wouldn't be for another hour before the ambulance arrived. We decide to cancel the ambulance and pile into the car (very slowly) and headed to the nearby clinic. The doctor there couldn't really find anything wrong (we thought it could have been an ear infection which got worse) but the pain was unbearable so they called an ambulance. It got there within 5 minutes and they took her to the hospital.

Gina's folks got there just as the ambulance was getting ready to leave so they went with her while I stayed with the kids at the clinic to check on their own viruses. 2.5 hours later we learn that they're ok for now (2 nights later I brought Melyssa back to find she'd caught another ear infection) and head home. Reports from the hospital were encouraging in that nothing was found but also discouraging for that same reason. At night, Her dad came home to watch the kids while I went to the hospital to continue the wait. 12 hours after she was admitted, she was discharged. The last batch of tests was to find out if perhaps she'd caught a virul strain of Meningitus but it came out negative. Basically, as far as the hospital could tell, there were no reasons why she was feeling as much pain as she was. They figured that the combination of her ear infection plus migraine headaches, plus the smack her head took when she hit the floor, plus her cold were the cause. The next couple of days, her mom stayed in town to help out while she rested as much as possible.

You know what? I keep thinking how up until I met her, I rarely if ever went into hospitals. Now, I'm so aquainted with about 3 different hospitals that I could easily give internal directions... Go figure...

Thursday August 6, 1998

SOS Emergency Techniques came in handy again tonight.

Gina's cousins are visiting from Italy and came over tonight for supper. Her parents drove them here and during supper her father was telling me how he had the impression that he couldn't feel his arms. The way he was talking, signals were being sent to me that he may have been experiencing the symptoms of a heart attack. While we were clearing the table, I found that he had gone into the bathroom because he felt like he was going to throw up. When nothing came, he began to complain about pain in the sternum. I told Gina to go ahead and call the CLSC Hotline because I believed he was indeed suffering from a heart attack. I reached for my SOS Guide and showed her the page with the symptoms and he pretty much had them all. The Hotline told us to bring him to the clinic immediately. We did and they immediately called in the ambulance. The ERTs told us we should have called 9-1-1 right away but that we got him there on time.

He's at the hospital now and it was confirmed that he did indeed suffer a minor heart attack. He has to spend 3 to 4 nights there for observation and they've also got him on blood-thinner because his blood is too thick right now which was causing the circulation blockage. It's amazing how quickly things like this can happen. I'm just very glad he was here, in town, instead of at his house in the country. ERT response time there is much too long in my eyes due to its remoteness...

I'll write up an update sometime next week...

Saturday August 29, 1998

I know I was supposed to put in something new shortly after the previous entry, but things got so hectic and so out-of-hand that the time and/or inclination was pretty much nil. Anyhow, after a 2 week stay in the hospital, he was released. We were warned that it will be a long recovery and that he's got to stay as far away from stress as possible.

Saturday September 12, 1998

A funny thing happened last weekend. While off driving for groceries, we passed a local Dunkin Donuts. Outside, a mascot dressed up in a Donut costume waved to the passing cars, enticing everyone to enter the store. I pointed him out to the kids ("Look! A Giant Donut!") and James immediately asked, "Can we go eat him?" Stifling giggles, I asked why. His simple reply, "It would be fun!" heheheheheee....

Here's a curious event with James. He started going to a full-time daycare on August 31st. Ever since that first day, he refuses to share *anything* that goes on during his days! Literally, his answer to ALL our questions, no matter how detailed we make them, is "I don't remember". It's quite frustrating (although funny at the same time) how he laughs while he answers us, shrugging his shoulders. If he's starting to keep school secrets at this age, I can imagine when he gets older!! Aieee!!!

Thursday September 17, 1998

Those of you who know me, also know how important music is in my life. It's a big part of me and there is no effort whatsoever required to get me to sing. Anything. (smile). Also, those of you who know, also know how much I love Disney movies, especially for the music. Well, it's really nice that my kids have also gotten involved in loving music. I've related how both James and Melyssa have a knack for music and can carry tunes (and Melyssa can't even speak yet!). Here are two musical stories for you.

First, Puff The Magic Dragon. It's a song everyone knows, and one that's a favorite at our yearly SongFests in the Park. Well, one day, I bought James a glow-in-the-dark Dragon (to help fight off bad dreams and things that go bump in the dark, you understand (grin)). Anyhow, that night, I decided to sing Puff to him. I pulled out my SongBook and went through the song with him. For about half an hour. He began to get into the groove. We now sing it every night before bedtime. Needless to say, he knows it quite well! Verse for verse! It's great to hear him sing it :)

Secondly, The Jungle Book. I'm positive I've related elsewhere how that is one of my all-time favorite Disney flicks (with Phil Harris bringing Baloo to life so wonderfully). Obviously, "The Bear Necessities" is a favorite song of mine. One which I sing quite often. Well, James enjoys it just as much as I do. Recently, however, our duets together took a different turn. He started singing Mowgli's lines near the end of the song!!! Without my prompting him to do so!!! You could almost imagine my surprise when I got to "The bear necessities of life will come to you..." and he responded, with Mowgli's enthusiasm, "They'll come to ME!" It was a wonderful moment. (proud papa-bear smile)

Sunday October 4, 1998

James and Melyssa both started swimming lessons today. It was Melyssa's first time in the pool, and she really seemed to enjoy it. As for James, it was the first time he was in the water without me! To say I was a little nervous would be an understatement. After all, I know he loves the water and was really looking forward to getting back into the pool. However, I also know him to want to live life according to his own rules. Which means, he's prone to not listening to "orders". My fears weren't fully grounded, though. He took to the water beautifully. He jumped into his floatation device and swum all over the place. The teacher had to keep going after him to bring him back to the group, though, but she didn't seem upset over it. The only time we panicked was near the end of the lesson. He saw the slide, heard the teacher mention that those who wanted to go slide could, and he was off! He jumped out of the water, took off his floatation device, and zoomed towards it while I and some other parents yelled to the instructor that he was on his way and there was no one to catch him!! (grin). All's well that ends well. It's going to be a little rough though in the sense that we have to get there for 9:15am every Sunday for Melyssa's lesson. James and I wait around until 10:15am when he has his lesson. At which point we have to wait until 11:15am for his class to end. James gets antsy waiting. And after her lesson, Melyssa is tired, grumpy, and hungry. (giggle). Oh well...