Chantale Turgeon ~ 1st Compiled Pregnancy Journal

Work is good, today is much better than yesterday. I had to move desks and it was slightly unpleasant. But now I'm comfortable, listening to Jann Arden and Great Big Sea in my head phones, I need to get a small pair. Shopping time!

I'm eating at my desk, with a coffee that a collegue bought me, in my jeans and Old Navy T-shirt. Pretty decent Friday, never had this at the bank! Next week, will be my first official full week of work since June. oh boy, early bed time! Not much else new. We went to see The Aviator on Monday. Pretty good movie. It was ages since I've been to one, probably since I went with you Karine! There's a few more that I want to see, like Oceans 12.

hmmm...you know what, since everyone who reads me knows the news I realize - duh! I might as well announce that I'm pregnant! :)

It's a good thing. A strange thing and it doesn't feel real, but as I have my first appointment on Wed next week it may kick in slightly then. It's apparently real to others as we're already getting gifts! I guess since I have finished my first trimester and am now into my 4th month or 13th week things are safer.

And that's the news for today! :)

So I’ve been dying to write about my adventures this week! Wednesday was good, long since we were waiting forever to see the doctor. I really wish that I didn’t have to get my checkups at the hospital, it was so impersonal. I’m not sick or dying, I’m having a baby. It was kind of grungy...but I’ve been told it’s a great place to give birth.

My appointment was at 2:15 and we only got in at around 4. I got my blood tests done (like a good girl) and we left at around 4:45. Long afternoon, and nothing would have made I really good, being probed and stuff, but let me tell you, hearing the baby’s heart beat was awesome. I wish I had one of those machines! I wasn’t expecting it, and it was a shock, it took quite a few seconds for me to correlate my belly = baby. In fact my first thought “what’s in my stomach!” no joke, the thought of having a baby in you is just weird, it hasn’t sunk in yet. Even at 12 weeks. But then again as weird as it may be, the whole aspect is just beautiful. It’s really Mother Nature at her best. How I can adapt, how my body can change to accommodate another person!

Well that was Wednesday, I had my swimming class that night for the first time, really fun, but could hardly walk the next day. My butt and thighs hurt! holy cow! But it was fun, they call me 'pas de bedine'. Nice eh, no belly. And here I am currently at my biggest ever, and only knowing I’m getting bigger! :)

Yesterday I told my boss, I was so nervous, it went okay I guess. She was disappointed at the situation (her having to find someone else) but happy for me – as happy as she could be. The HR lady was really happy and that made me feel better. But then I felt everyone awkward for the rest of the day. But today is a little better I guess, everyone is being extra polite, whereas I hardly got a good morning, I got some this morning. I think my next week it’ll be better, fresh start.

Lunch now! Yum I’m famished!

sigh...that's all I'm inclined to say...just feeling really down the past few days - thankfully Mike is the most wonderful man in the world, always making me smile!

So that’s it. I had another darn blood test – argh. This time he missed - so it’s really cute my bruised matching arms now – yes I’m still really much bruised from last weeks test!

Have I mentioned the best thing in the world right now (aside my hubby of course), my swimming lessons! I love them. It’s more of a social gathering right now than exercise. Sure we bob around and work but with our mouths continually working as well! It’s so much fun and I feel so good after it! I wish it was more often! I do know something else – I’ve got to control my eating, yesterday I just went crazy and ate ALL DAY LONG. A yogurt, oatmeal, a muffin, fruits, a sandwich, another sandwich, a hot chocolate, more fruits, a bagel in the morning, lots of water etc…got home – a hot dog then went swimming, then ate a chicken breast and fries and some of Mike’s salad. I felt so guilty at night thinking back at the day. It’s the first time I let myself go like that. I’ll gain a ton if I keep it up! So today I’m trying to be more reasonable. But I get hungry so often!! Every hour or 2 I need to nibble!

Sigh...my mom warned me she put on 60 lbs with me. Oh no. :(

Too bad they’re beige and we are in Jan, but I honestly don’t care!!! Screw that fashion rule!

So I was sneezing, congested and runny nose yesterday – and in the afternoon and evening feeling nauseous. 14 weeks in and now I feel nauseous – what the hell? It’s a common side effect apparently to these vitamins – crazy, I am totally healthy, and I force myself to swallow these pills since it’s the ‘right thing to do’ and I don’t feel well. Things that make me go ‘Hmmm’.

A funny moment – I was eating oatmeal, and dropped a little on my shirt, looked down shrugged my shoulders and thought ‘better get used to having stuff on my shirt when I burt my baby!’ It was very funny to me! :)

And today I’m wearing those extra comfortable pants that I got – leave it to maternity pants to boost your morale, this morning I looked in the mirror and felt and looked fat. I put these pants on and they are slipping off just a little, thus making me feel skinny! Giggle! The mind, what a wonderful thing to play with!

Laugh at me moment – new thing to get used to – cleavage for one.

So I drop a piece of cookie, due to cleavage my shirt has a opening at the top, cookie falls into shirt, wiggles its way into bra, manages (who knows how) to fall between the crack of cleavage down. Phew, I think.

Then due to other changes, I realize jeans are big today, cookie manages to fall into pants. Good god cookie! I look around me in hopes to retract the cookie from my cookie and realize that it would be a hilarious scene in a movie.

I can see our baby and our puppy becoming best of buddies. Casey is very protective of everyone in our family – she has an uncanny knack to know where everyone is at all times, I can only imagine her keeping an eye on baby!

Sunday we stayed in bed all day and watched movies, I woke up at around 11:30 after going to bed at 5, and just lounged. We watched a horror flick then a chic flick. Had leftover pizza and just had a great time. We cuddled all day and quite often had to share our cuddles with Casey. Last night I caught myself doing something very pregnant womanish. I was lying down and holding my stomach. Just a tiny tummy and still holding it. I had to laugh.

This morning I feel weird since the new pair of jeans that I bought 3 weeks ago that were too big and I had to wear a belt with – lets say, not so big anymore, no more belt. I’ve gained 3-4 lbs since I’ve been pregnant, but still seem to be expanding. I feel like the blue girl in Charlie and the chocolate factory – minus the blue factor. :)

Pregnancy update: 15 weeks, 1/3 done. My back has been aching terribly the past few days, very painful. I don’t know what to do, it hurts when I sit, stand or even soak in the tub. I’m looking forward to 2 things, my doctors appointment, and the massage Mike and I are going to for Valentine’s day. Hopefully that’ll bring some relief.

I need new bras, the ones, that previously fit just until last week, well Monday mornings, nothing fits. So I’m squished today making me a little grumpy. Also on the same topic, I mentioned it to Karine, Saturday I noticed that I started leaking. It was weird how it happened, I was sitting down in my loose PJs, looked down and saw I was a little wet, so I thought, geez, I must have spit or sneezed. Wiped and that was it, caught a glimpse 2 minutes later and realized I was wet again. Called Mike over to look and he turned 20 shades of red, and giggled like a boy. We weren’t expecting this right now, I thought it was later in pregnancy! So that was funny, I was my own personal entertainment for a good while, figuring out how these things work! :)

Mike is cute, sure he may have 2 kids, but it truly seems that he's experiencing pregnancy for the first time. As he's my best friend I share things with him that sometimes makes him blush, it's sweet, like the whole boob thing, he was totally unaware, he's never seen that before. So some things about this he's totally new and it's fun to share with him and see his reaction.

The past 3 days I’ve been bloated beyond belief. I stayed the same weight as well, but today I went up 2. sigh. I know it’s normal, it’s hard to accept. I see women at class who gained anywhere from 17 lbs, to 50lbs. The one who is at 17 lbs at 8 months looks really cute, the one at 50, uh,... not so much. Some women (actually 2 in 20) have sexy legs and butt with not one ounce of cellulite. There are others with great arms and thin body. Others who carry only in the front, some to the side, and some who gained all over. Now explain to me, why is it possible to only gain 17 lbs, yet sometimes we gain 50!

Reality check: I bought headsets on Monday and had to return them to zellers. I get back 15$ and change. I think I’m going to put that back in my account. I turn around realize I need Cocoa Butter cream since I’m extremely itchy, stomach, back and boobs. Pick up a bottle for 5$. I leave pass by a magazine stand, see a new issue of My Pregnancy, pick it up for 9.79$, I have only change left in my pockets. I went from buying something for me, to getting things for me and baby! Life is going to change!

Grumpy this morning. Not enough sleep. Wanna go back to bed. Nice weekend. Nice evening yesterday with my 2 sweeties napping on me, in fact the white fluffy sweetie napping on my black haired sweetie’s neck. They snuggled and napped on me for about an hour in front on the fire while the pre-game was on TV. Love those moments.

Bought more maternity stuff now. I need a pair of jeans, bra, underwear, and a shirt that can grow with me. Since I don’t have anything maternity yet, I figured I’d invest in good quality for these items since they’ll be for now until 7 months maybe 8, and them after I give birth. We went to Thyme, very nice things in there, for someone who’s extremely picky, I was very impressed. Prices were expensive though. So I spent way more on 4 pieces of clothing than usual, but they were a need more than splurging. I may splurge in 2 or 3 months on a nice blouse, but until them I’ll try to manage to borrow stuff! Any offers? :) So today I’m satisfied that I have stuff to wear now, and my jeans are great looking and fitting.

I finished eating my bagel now, took a look at the lunch Mike made me, poor sandwich got sat on :-( Did I mention I’m wiped, we were passing out at 8pm last night, my eyelids shut at 9:15 I think when I stopped trying to keep them open to watch the game.

We began working on the baby room. Just a bit, put in shelves in the closet. We want to paint and put up moldings. It’s a small room and shouldn’t be too time consuming. I figure we’ll start in spring time and with the nice weather outside this past weekend, I was ready to start. Mom also has been hassling me to start buying things, I let her win this weekend. Why fight the fact people want to spend money now on our baby. So I gave her the okay.

Have you ever been feeling bad then get overwhelmed with good feelings? I’d say more like a hug filled with love, but with no one around. It even puts a smile on your face. Suddenly you realize that you may feel bad, but really in the end you have a great week planned ahead. It snaps you out of your cloud, you realize and see all that is good.

Welcome to week 16 ½ or something like that. Some say 16, some say 17, who knows! I’ve gotten some maternity stuff and my sister cleaned out her closet of ‘fat’ clothes for me, so I scored maybe 2 or 3 shirts. Mostly really casual, but one nice black big sweater that with a little clean up will look brand new! But it’s funny I look at labels and see S or M try it on still thinking that’s my size and end up being choked or the shirt being half way up my stomach or not being able to remove my arm without resorting to use of force. Now some mediums fit, but it’s not written in stone that all of it does! Heck I was a 34 bra and now a 38 fits snuggly. I was told to expect our rib cage to expand and to always buy a bra that has room to grow (to at least get some use out of it). And here’s a funny thing I’ve noticed, wear normal clothes and you can hide it, wear maternity clothes and all of a sudden you look way more pregnant than you did in the jeans you just crawled out of!

The past 4 meals I’ve had (regardless of what I ate) resulted in pain in my mid section, heartburn I’ve been told. Oh joy. I expected it to depend on what I ate, cripes, apparently I can’t digest salad properly! I shall be buying Tums tonight, I can only imagine how I’ll feel bobbing around in the water! Yay I can’t wait to swim! It’s my weekly highlight, it’s so much fun!

Something nice to do when pregnant, go get a manicure – makes me feel so pretty – considering I’ve only gotten 1 other in my life, (for my wedding) I figure this is a pretty special occasion (and for 10$) it’s so worth it!

I must say how happy to have a friend who’s pregnant at the same time as me, it’s great, and brings twice the pleasure to me. When things lull for me, she’s got news and vice versa! It’s so exciting!

I must say that my puppy has been bratty the past few days, peed on me the carpet on top of the freshly cleaned clothes, and while playing last night, she bit my butt. So yes, she got a beating. But I always feel so bad and guilty after that we snuggle. Sigh.. I wonder who’s trained.

I must say that I’ve noticed my belly button isn’t as deep as before, it won’t be popping any time soon, but it’s not the same!

I must say that even though that poutine tasted great last night, it probably wasn’t the best idea to eat it right before bed.

I must say I was relieved to see that TUMS were on sale at Jean Coutu yesterday – good investment I say, expiry date, 2010.

I must say that I like working with my shoes off and in my cozy socks on the computer base.

I must say that I would love to go for a spa day in June with my pregnant friend – why june, when we’ll be nice and fat and need it! :)

Anyways, I'm lying in bed last night I feel a sort of push on my left side, almost like the baby was curled up there and I feel gurgles, and more gurgles. Now, typically I would shrug it off to my digestive system, but since it was really to the right of my tummy (I mean almost near my side!) it didn't seem to fit. So I tell Mike in hopes that he'd be excited and want to listen, instead after asking him twice to listen to my stomach, he just shrugs and says, 'so what? you're digesting'. grrr. I explain to him what it may be and everything hoping to clarify him, and he AGAIN nonchalantly says, I doubt it, you're digesting. GRRR. I know I should be feeling the baby soon, like from now to 3 weeks and everyone I talk to tells me it feels like gurgles, or digesting at first, until you get your first punch that is.

Zzzzzzz...zzzzz...zzzzz..I’m falling asleep at my desk. Je cogne des clous! Sheesh, all of a sudden I pictured a king size duvet with lots of pillows to just melt into.

I assume fighting to not pass out, feeling faint, nauseous, and almost throwing up all morning is a good indication that I'm ill.

Add that with the fact I was given an urgent project to finish by 3pm this afternoon, I can't go home. :(

Mommy and baby are both doing well. Baby’s heartbeat is very nice and strong; the doctor always seems very impressed with baby’s heart, even at the first visit. Mommy’s blood pressure is a little low and should be careful, thus the fainting yesterday and feeling crappy yesterday. Not enough blood going to my brain – Warning to Taras – I don’t want any comments about this! In fact when I stand the blood tends to pools around my legs and thus the faintness, also not wearing heels helps.

Results from prenatal testing also confirms, and reassures both mommy and daddy that the baby will be absolutely normal and healthy. My blood work came back normal, and the baby ratios for DS is 1:17,000. The doctor was again very pleased with the results.

The one thing doctor gave mommy a warning for was … weight. But here’s my side of the story. I weighed myself and was right on track at home. I got there and stood on the electronic scales (which I don’t trust too much) and it was 9lbs more than what I thought I put on! The assistant didn’t see, I immediately got off, it erased, I took off my boots, and wallet out of my hands got on for a nice 147.5lbs. yay I thought, 7 lbs more than last time, that’s perfect! The assistant was on the phone. No worries I got back on for her, it now said 150. no no, that’s not right. I got off got on, 150 again. Sigh… She refused to believe my 147.5 that I saw and marked down 150. It wouldn’t have been so bad, if she didn’t comment in front of 3 other strangers how I’ve put on an excessive amount of weight. Sigh. Two hours ago it wasn’t funny, now though, me telling the lady her scale wasn’t accurate, trying to persuade her to take the 147.5 and picturing me kicking my shoes off and annoyed at the machine is a little funny. I tried convincing the doctor I was eating well and healthy and exercising, she just told me the weight would come regardless.

I see this in one of the chapters of the girlfriends guide of pregnancy. I just spoke with my parents and they just laughed at me, and my dad said that my mom was the same way, even if she tells me that I’m fat, the lady put on 60lbs with me!

So all in all, a good appointment, hardly any waiting this time, I like morning appointments, walk right in. I’m just really excited for the ultrasound now! The heartbeat also changed, instead of real quick ka tok ka tok, it’s more of a ka thump ka thump now. :) Much deeper, fuller and more developed.

Sigh. It’s good to know that baby is healthy even if mommy will be a truck!

"A calm person is a powerful person." That's a great quote.

Swimming was good, got myself a decent workout this time as there was no friends there to chatter too! Mike's coming along next week, I can't wait to swim with him, it'll be fun! Not many S.O. are going, maybe 2 out of 25. Some women were saying their husbands/b-friends wouldn't be caught dead going. That struck me as unfortunate.

Again I got home and crawled into bed, and don't remember anything past that, until jumping out of bed late this morning!

I'm feeling SO much better! Still on plenty of bed rest and liquids, but in comparison I feel wonderful! I'm excited for the ultrasound next week, I get to see baby again and see if baby is a girl or a boy! And the real nice part is that James and Melyssa will both be there too to see it. They don't really know it yet, but they'll come into the room halfway through to check it out. It'll be a once in a lifetime thing for them since they may not be around for the other echos. I'm excited to see their faces and reactions.

So I'm off for lunch now, so very hungry!

I must say that I'm getting excited to meet this baby of ours! Mike too is cute, he listens to my stomach, but literally at his touch my tummy just goes crazy. Just the other day it made the funniest sound and he jumped right off! It's even funnier when the dog lies on me, hears it and just looks down in wonder, sniffing my tummy searching for what is making that noise!

I'm quickly tiring from my plain lunches, soup isn't cutting it anymore, especially after walking by the good smelling food court. The last smell my nose pick up was french fries...mmm...

WAIT!!

REAL LIFE INTERRUPT::::::

BABY JUST GAVE ME A FULL FLEDGE KICK!!! Not a flutter, or a gurgle, A KICK!!! 2 big ones, and 1 push! WOW! THIS IS AWESOME!! Here I am thinking food and fries and baby kicks me! (typical of our family, gets excited with food!) I even felt it with my hand!!

So I made all the necessary bragging phone calls, to mike, and then my parents! :) This makes my day EVEN better than before!

okay - here's the deal - We know the gender - but before I post it, I want to ask you all to guess! Take a guess out of the blue! Even if you don't know me that well, you really only have 2 choices! :) Go ahead and guess quick since I can't hold it in that long!!!! - Final tally - 4 girls 2 boys.

I’m squealing with *absolute* delight and I want the *WHOLE* world to hear me!

To put things in perspective for everyone, this is years (I mean since my childhood) of hoping, dreaming, wishing and wanting this, and today I got exactly what I’ve always longed for…

A little baby BOY (and trust me, it’s a bouncy one!)

True, I don’t have it yet per say in my arms, but I’m carrying him around nonetheless and knowing that I have a little boy growing inside me brings tears to my eyes for the first time in this pregnancy. More about the ultrasound later after I tell my parents!

A Long Story

Once upon a time, there was a little girl (me!) who got a little sister. Too young to understand of have any real feelings at the time about this addition, her baby sister was quickly accepted and loved. Her feelings never changed about the little brat, but at some point in her life she wished for a brother. Was it perhaps she wanted someone to play with or someone with similar interests? You see this little girl was an extreme tom boy growing up and really couldn’t relate to other typical girls who were in love with Dirty Dancing, New Kids one the Block, My Little Pony, Care Bears and worst of all She-Ra or JEM. I will admit that the little girl was in love with Joe in NKOTB, but that’s neither here nor there. Give her a good soccer game, or even better a collectable hockey cards and LEGO’s and there was a very happy little girl.

Now she dreamed of having a brother, to the point of when she was shopping she would think “if I had a brother I’d buy him this...Her wish was so strong that sometimes she believed that she had a brother with her. Her subconscience seemed to be aware of a male presence as she always had (and still does have) vivid dreams with a boy. Now as a young woman, she met a wonderful person who has a very special gift of insight who told her that she indeed had an older brother who was watching over her. Truth is her mother had had an early miscarriage which turns about according to this woman, was a boy. Granted life turns out a way for a reason, but the truth remained that the little girl who was so wanting a brother actually had one all along! This was fantastic news, but however strong the spiritual and emotional connection was, the physical connection was missing unfortunately.

So, getting to the present day, having always lacked a brotherly bond and being told that she is going to have a little baby boy is the most wonderful and precious news in the world.

In other news, I’m wiped today. The week has caught up with me, and it’s only Thursday…I can hardly keep my eyes in their sockets.

So we told my parents last night and they were very excited indeed! Thrilled is more the word. Dad is so proud, and mom is planning her shopping already! More on what the technician said – baby boy has all 10 fingers and toes, good organs, healthy normal heartbeat at 137, a bigger than average head (oh boy), and is quite the active little one, he flipped 3 times completely in the ultrasound and both techs were impressed and gave me a “I’m so sorry you’re going to have to endure this for another 20 weeks” look! We have pictures from every angle! I don’t mind, I like having him flip, for now anyways! Oh I forgot to mention, that he seemed proud to be a he by constantly (and I’m not exaggerating) showed himself off, to the point where the tech was counting toes and looking for 2 feet and he said under his breath after a few minutes of looking for that other foot, ‘no I want to see your foot, not your scrotum’.

The techs also asked in a hesitant voice ‘uhm, do you have a history of…large babies in your family?’ uh oh.

So everything was great, our families are happy, we are ecstatic and now it’s just that much more real since we know who we’re talking to. I can start thinking of names, and getting more personal with him (not it). :)

I fear I may be suffering from some kind of blood pressure problems. I fear I feel like a pile of mushy goo. I fear it will only get worse. I fear I am clueless on the cause.

Yesterday while running some errands, I began to feel the creeping up of the familiar pressure in my head. The one I know oh so well that gives he a heads up to sit my butt down wherever I am no matter what I was doing. I tried to fight it and obviously lost as I continued my decent with tunnel vision, to then complete blurred vision, to then no vision at all. I thus needed to sit my butt down as quickly as I could as my legs were not going to hold me up any longer. I managed to find my way to the car in the parking lot with no vision at all(thanks to my guides) and it took a few minutes to regain my brain and vision as I kind of go numb and clueless.

So I rested (in this state of complete numbness) as after a faint episode I feel completely drained. What is upsetting I don't know WHY!!This morning I wasn't feeling great but what choice do I have? I must go to work. Even in the car sitting down I wasn't feeling very coherant and that went down the drain once we were on the train. So obviously everyone on that train is SO gallant and generous in offering their seat to a pregnant woman, I sat on the floor. Not too bad even though baby was uncomfortable and was letting me know with generous kicks of discomfort as I had my knees to my chin.

Then the relatively short wait for the bus (which may I add I am able to do usually without much trouble at all being in the freshair). Not today, after 2 minutes, my brain got that pressure and I told Mike that I was going to sit down on the EXTREMELY FROZEN bench! The bus came in 5 minutes, but again jsut feeling the wooziness was enough to drain me. Now 11am and I could sleep until tomorrow, no exageration. Mom told me she suffered from pre-eclampsia and toxemia during the 2nd half of her pregnancy, but geez, I'm ONLY at 20 weeks now! So yes, I'm fearful that without proper care this will get worse, and with the way I'm feeling now that terrifies me. Next week I have my monthly rendez vous, and will be sure to bring it up, but until then...what to do? I gather continue to eat properly (which I do) and get as much rest as I can, otherwise I don't see how I will be able to continue to work.

I'm feeling better than yesterday, thank god as I thought I was dying. Got home at 6:50 and my sweetie sent me to bed with the pup. He came upstairs with 2 bowls of hot vegetable soup (mmm my favorite - and baby's too!), a bowl of juicy grapes and a huge bowl of tuna salad. It was so delicious! I then got cozy, watched Monday Report with Rick Mercer (I always get a giggle out of that clever show) and very quickly fell into dream land. I slept like a rock and woke up feeling comfy but refreshed and with more energy.

Tonight we have our first of 5 prenatal classes. Tonight is about nutrition and should go until 9pm. I'm looking forward to seeing other mom and dad's to be. Tomorrow is swimming, yippee! It been 3 weeks since I've been and I feel a total difference in my body without it! I am looking forward to starting the next class as well which should go until june.

Oh and a belly button update - not an outie yet!

My thanks goes out to Karine for the wonderful pair of jeans I'm wearing today!!! They fit like a glove and feel awesome!! I really truly appreciate from the depths of my heart everything you've helped me out with so far!!!

oh and I just had a hot chocolate (the first bit of caffeine in a long long time) and baby is boucing away!

I'm so thirsty!!! I feel like a fish dying on the dry sand dunes of some scorching desert.

I went swimming yesterday, not a lot of women, some popped I believe and the bunch of us are all moving slower than the beginning, myself included. Whereas I used to do a few laps without my noodle floaty, now it's attached itself to my underarms and thus I feel like a war-amps octopus. hmmm...what a picture.

It was also the first time that baby was moving and kicking me while I was in the water, it was the weirdest since I was going one way and I felt baby going another. Disconcerting.

The exercise felt really great, my arms and legs needed a work out, and after the excruciatingly long work days I've had recently it was nice to just float. I've worked all day, hardly any breaks and next thing I realize it's past 5pm. The fact I eat at my desk means I'm doing lots of extra time even if I leave at 5:30. The rest of the week, and perhaps next week will be the same. Today marks my 3 months that I'm here. No big yippees, for those who know me, are aware of my intense feelings of distrust. Something along the lines of trusting as far as I can spit... I can't spit very far at all.

I’m just wiped. I always feel this way now. The frustrating part is that I’m having trouble getting comfy in bed, I like lying on my back and I just can’t manage that anymore. The past 2 weeks I’ve gotten much bigger. My body seems to have changed again. Some of my zipper sweaters are getting to the max stretch over my belly. I was just talking to Mike about how fascinating and incredible the changes that women go through. It’s a totally new body! And thus I figure that I need twice as much sleep to compensate for all these changes. It's so nice that Mike continually says I'm beautiful, and he's not just pulling my chain either, I can see it in his eyes that he truly means it and thinks I'm sexy!

I was hanging with my sister and mom yesterday desperately trying to find a gown for this weekend’s gala…to no avail. Every dress made me look huge! So I’ve opted for the nice black blouse with pink flowers that I was lent and I found an all black maternity skirt for 20$ which was 70% off! I danced with joy at the deal! So I’ll be dressing in up with some bling bling and it’ll be just perfect! 20$ outfit were it usually costs me easily over 100$ for a gown and gloves and shawl and shoes! I’m glad I have friends my size and a mom who has the same size foot!

Anyways, my point was while I was changing with my sister and mom in the room, their jaw dropped, I guess that when I’m dressed it covers how preggers I am, where as in my bra and underwear, uhm.. not so much. My sister got all depressed since my mom and I have always been small in the chest area, whereas she’s was ‘gifted’ there (I mean *much* more than we were)– and yesterday she realized, that not only had I caught up, but easily surpassed her cleavage! We all got a huge laugh out of that, she was so proud of being the breasty one!

Mike was a sweetheart (as usual) but he’s so good when I have those low woman moments, he took me shopping at Thyme, and literally stacked my cabin with things he said I’d look great in. Granted I got 2 new bras (much needed), the skirt and underwear, it was nice to be ‘taken’ shopping. I think also that it’ll be my last maternity bras that I invest in, after these don’t do the trick anymore, I’ll go for the nursing ones.

So sleeping for max 3-4 hours at a stretch is the most I seem to be able to do - don't get me wrong, I'm exhausted, it's just between nature calling so often and waking up out of fear that I'm lying on my back I'm wake up so often! So this is what it's like with a little one, I guess then it won't be so bad since I'll be able to get the extra 2-3 hour sleep shift in the morning or afternoon. Now I have to drag my butt into work and don't get the nap.

I slept like a log! So wonderful it was!!! I was cozy, and knocked right out! I went swimming and had quite the vigorous workout, got home, finished eating, had a hot bath, then sat in bed with a dim light on for about 15 minutes with a book and a glass of water to only feel sleepy, I think I put my head on the pillow and I was gone until this morning.

Even though I woke up earlier for my monthly doc appointment, I felt so refreshed! It was wonderful!! I feel so much better too energy wise. Sigh... I welcome this feeling! Tonight is my last swimming of the session, then tomorrow at 6:30 I have to split myself in 2, I have to be at the dentist office and I have to sign up for the next pre-natal swimming class in april. Since I have to be present for the dentist - (obviously) mike will go sign me up.

Well we got to the 6th floor at 8:15 and it was vacant, not a person in sight. hmmm.. we did begin to worry about it being cancelled and not knowing. Finally the secretary showed up at 8:35, (my appointment was for 8:30). Did the regular rouine, take a cup, weigh in, sit on the exam table, take my pressure, tried to talk to a doctor with no personality-who didn't seemed phased at all by how I was feeling, lay down to listen to the heartbeat only to have the baby kick us for attempting and thus with baby playing 'catch-me-if-you-can' hearing maybe 2 thumps in all. Then got up and made the next appointment and left.

So apparently no worries about how I feel or felt - "that's what happens with pregnancy" apparently. Oh well, atleast I didn't get reemed for gaining too much this time. I even had a nicer secretary who didn't round up,(0.3 anything doesn't bump it up to next pound)!

That is all, I do wish I had a nicer doctor, one that didn't treat us like a number, who actually has somekind of bedside manner. Mike and I decided that with the next child I will try desperately to find someone else who doesn't work in a hospital. I hear Lasalle is a great place, I just need a referral!

Since I’ve been pregnant I’ve been forcefully more dependant on you. Mother Nature’s miracle at her best makes me dependant in millions of ways: all of which chip away at my individuality and the womanly strength and confidence that at one point in time you were in love with and that for over 20 years I prided myself on. This independence is the one that "today’s woman" seeks and works for every day of her life - it’s the struggle and quest to find her own two feet, something that this decade has marketed and encouraged. I’m not saying that all women fall in this category, however there are a remarkable amount of ‘independent’, ‘successful’ and ‘happy’ women nowadays comparatively to our mothers’ generation. Women don’t even need a man anymore to have a family, just the sperm. It is believed that we can have everything we desire without the help of a man.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not one of these super ultra feministic women who swear off men completely, by far. I love the relationship I have with my husband; it’s the best thing in my world. Being my best friend, my soul mate, my rock and my lover all in one is wonderful. However, even with him, today’s society has given plenty of tools to get by without him, should I need too, heck even sexually – apparently a woman’s must have is a vibrator these days, so should the job not get done properly, well at least there are no worries. It’s sad if you think about it, thus this is why I choose not to travel that road, even knowing of its existence.

However here I am, 5 months pregnant and Mother Nature makes my already willfully dependant butt, even more needy of my husband. I had accepted the level a long time ago; I think it’s a childhood thing. But no one warned me about the increased dependency that a woman feels when she’s carrying her husband’s child. I need to be held, touched, and hugged often. It’s the physical bond; I need to have my man hold me tightly, securely and lovingly all at the same time. I need to bury my head in his chest, and have his arms wrapped around me making the rest of the world disappear. I need him to come to me and do this and not I run after him for it. It is truly an instinctive reaction and need from our ancestors as I never required this as much as I do now, as I feel it in my core being and when neglected, I ache all over. The upsetting part comes from many parts: the frustration of having the man simply being incapable of understanding; from not getting what I crave and really do need; from not being able to get this connection and physical attention elsewhere or from anyone else; and finally, from the frustration that I even need this in the first place. Trust me, should I have any control over my animal instincts and ancestral behaviors that run through the core of my being, I wouldn’t have this happen – but I don’t have as much control over what I need as society makes me believe.

Almost 22 weeks pregnant, not one moment of sickness - until today. I'm just thankful that banana, fruit juice and a granola bar does not have the same taste as lets say too much beer and a plate of nachos.

And I figure if there's one place in montreal to be sick in public do it at the corner of a main intersection like Atwater and Ste-Catherine in the middle of rush hour. :)

Friday after a 'wonderful' public display, I went home with Mike on the 12:30 train. He was thankfully able to take the time to drive me home and spend the afternoon with me. We got home and ate. I was famished, not keeping anything down was so frustrating as I was hungry and baby was as well! So I told my hubby that since everything that I had tried didn’t work (ie the crackers, the toast, the granola bar, the fruit, heck even the water!) I was going for something big. My theory – go with my gut, even if it sounded insane. I was craving a cheeseburger. I figure – it was either going to stick or it wasn’t, I had nothing to loose.

So we got home, made myself 2 cheese burgers and ate those with some sprite. Then I braced myself for the worse…and nothing! I felt okay. Sure a little nauseous, but no more praying to the ceramic queen! Then I put my Pjs on, put in Daffy and Porky Looney Toones collection, laughed for 3 skits then I don’t remember anything after that. That was 2:30. Mike supposedly left 5 minutes after to pick up the kids and do groceries, I had 2 messages on my answering machine and the dog apparently barked when Mike came back… 3 HOURS LATER!!!! I woke up feeling like I napped for about an hour MAX, but no, apparently 3 hours flew by and I had NO clue. It was needed I think.

ok...i'm done today. I'm still kind of cranky, grumpy and sleepy (3 of the dwarfs) mixed with hungry and thirsty (2 more dwarfs). oh, and even though I'm all of those above, I still feel happy and giggly. There you have it - 7 dwarfs!

I've been wanting to write down the funniest thing that the baby reacts to recently. Muffins. My mom made me a batch of cranberry muffins, I made a batch of blueberry. The past few days of eating them has left this baby bouncing away like crazy! It's kind of funny. All is quiet, I take a muffin, eat it and minutes later - thumps and knocking in my belly!! So I called my mom and asked her what she laced the muffins with as her grandson seems to enjoy them...or hate them come to think of it, maybe he's kicking me to stop eating them. ... hmmm. got myself thinking. :)

i've passed out before...

but never to the point i was unconscious for about 2-3 minutes. actually threw up while i was out. don't remember anything except coming to realizing mike was hanging on to me and a little panicked himself.

really scary. really not feeling well.

it's been rough today...A long day, with many developments, none i'm willing to get into right now. All that's important is that baby is moving and wiggling away. I called my Dr. she's didn't seemed to worried about me whatsoever, even though I am. I wasn't impressed though at the fact that I had to mention the supposed glucose test that is mandatory:

Me: "what about the glucose test?"

Her: "well you've done it haven't you?"

"uh, no."

"how many weeks are you?"

"23 1/2"

"well i gave you a paper didn't I for it?"

"uh no."

"oh."

"well since I'm coming in 2 weeks for my checkup, how about then?"

"oh no, I want you to do it this week ASAP along with more blood work so I'll fax you the papers"

So all of a sudden it went from nothing at all to worry about, it's completely normal to you have to do it NOW! So yes, I'm stressed. I hate blood work, I've had it done 3 times before, and 2 of those 3 times were when I was pregnant. I hate the fact she didn't think of it and that I had to mention it. I hate the fact I feel she doesn't know me or keep on top of things. I hate the fact that I've got to drag my butt after work to the Jewish for the tests because my CLSC is backlogged until April 26th with appointments. I hate the fact that the tests will be 3 hours long.

I hate the fact that I was asked to train my replacement on the only project that I'm working on, and once he learns it in april, I will officially have NOTHING left to do until June. I hate the fact that I'll be coming into work as a formality, all the while fighting off my faintness in the 3 hours of commuting I do a day just to get here to do nothing but hope someone posts on LJ to keep me entertained.

I hate the fact I am so tired, and that I was past due my nap that I should have had a 9am this morning. I hate the fact that indeed, most days are wonderful and I feel great, and that today I feel so grumpy and cranky about being pregnant and the little hassles. So yes, today I'm fed up, I wish that baby could live happily without making my body so screwed up.

I wanted to update more often and definitely keep more details than I feel I have. Sure I babble about it, but I realize I haven’t kept track of my body changing. And boy let me tell you, that surely does!!!

I officially gained 15 lbs since the beginning; this seems like a lot mainly since at 3 months I hadn’t gained a pound yet. This has all hit me like a 15 lbs brick in the past 12 weeks. I think the hard part was the numbers, I started at 137lbs, I’ve been that weight forever and being 5’7 most of it was muscle from my soccer addiction. The hard number to see on the scale was 150. ow. It’s the heaviest I’ve ever been, and not only that, I feel the weight, mostly after a long hard day at work, walking and climbing stairs seems like such a daunting task. I’m often winded after any length of walking, and feel like an old woman. I’ve taken a really good look at my behind and my legs, and the only noticeable difference is that sometimes recently I retain water in the evenings and my legs swell a little. Nothing a little sleep doesn’t get rid of. But still that 150 mark was tough to swallow. But I’m still for now, smaller than my husband! This I expect won’t last long, since he’s trying to drop a couple of pounds and get a little in shape with spring time.

My chest also looks smaller now in proportion to my belly that has expanded. My original your pregnant boobs were wonderful additions to the family, and recently I’ve wondered if they have disappeared! Proportions play funny games, as they still are, but nowhere near the increasing size of my soccer ball!

There was awhile where my stomach wasn’t rock hard as they say it should be, but I definitely fixed that problem. I’m even experiencing those Braxton-hicks contractions, which make my uterus so rock hard that nothing better touching it! I think it hurt only once, whereas the rest of the time it’s just me getting used to the feeling. Also I’ve increased the amount of Calcium and Vitamin C I’m taking to get rid of painful foot/leg cramps at night. Seems to have done the trick, I can now rotate my ankle without fear of seizing my calf.

My hunger is up and down. Some days I’m not hungry at all, like now after easter, I thing I overindulged slightly at grandma’s *blush* but there are maybe 1 or 2 days a week where I’ll eat all day long and still feel hungry! This was the case yesterday when I ate my lunch at 10am. And by 11am was wondering where I can scrounge the next bit of food!

My dreams are very vivid also, and it’s only been in the past 3 weeks where I actually see the baby’s face. I had this WONDERFUL loving dream that I was breastfeeding him and we were both just so in love. That lovey feeling lasted all day with me. I read somewhere that loving day & night dreams is a natural way to get used to being a mom. In which case I always seem to picture the baby sleeping and cozy and just watching him sleep and wanting to hold him lovingly against my heart and bury his head in my chest. I’ve said it before, but pregnancy is such a process for both mommy and baby. Both are growing in amazing ways. Sure this little one hit 1lbs this week and will only double as the weeks go on! He responds to people talking to him and touching him, Mike especially. They’ll play poke every night and Mike will sing to him. I’m also really glad that now Mike is able to feel even the slightest flutter through my abdomen. At first it was only the big kicks, now he can feel the baby turn, grab, punch, and stretch. Sometimes I don’t register it and Mike does! You get used to it I guess! It’s funny though when he’ll grab hold of something inside me and all of a sudden I’m literally controlled by this baby’s will! Mainly, peeing, and embarrassingly so, farting. When I tell Mike it’s your son’s fault, he seems skeptical but it’s true! (sorry if this embarrasses anyone, but hey it happens!)

I was re-reading What to Expect when your Expecting last night and realize that in the list of symptoms, I have most of them, but not extremely ie. tired and swollen , emotional, hungry, etc… but it’s all good. Nothing really to bitch about as it doesn’t last long. My legs get swollen at night, I go to bed, and I wake up looking brand new! My body looks so nice in the morning…not so much when I get home! :)

I really can’t believe that I’m in my 6th month. It flies by! I only have another 3 to go and I regret not taking more time to cherish it. I try every day to meditate and take a time out to connect with the baby, I now often break out into song and talk to myself without realizing it. I’m feeling a lot more loving and motherly, even towards Mike, which disconcerts me a little! I want to make sure he’s taken care of, and get much joy out of feeding him and doing things for him. But then again, I feel extra motherly towards Casey too. Example, one that’s kind of awkward-you need to know my dog’s personality of loving to be cuddled. I picked her up the other day for her regular hug, then started humming to her a lullaby, walked her around the house for 15 minutes, and she fell asleep in my arms. The crazy part, nothing seems ‘weird’ when I do it, but thinking back on it, it seems ‘unlike’ me. :)

Okay I feel much better now after having written all this. I just don’t want to get to post baby and have nothing kept in a journal!

So yesterday was quite the ordeal. I'll skip the story, honestly because I don't recall most of it, and the details I do are in no particular order. I remember a taxi ride, and a wheel chair ride, and lots of people in line. Then I know I was going to work, then I was on a stretcher. Then someone stranger told me to eat crackers (i think on the train) and I drank this orange crush drink which was pretty good! I had some nurse take my blood (4 vials of it) and it hurt like hell. Good intentioned I assume, but ow! Oh and I remember Mike asking how my head was, and I thought he was really psychic and in tune with my body since it hurt quite a bit - until he told me that I fell and bunged it against some metal bar. oh.

Then I don't know how I got home, we were looking for buses, then I was in my PJs on the couch. It's all very fuzzy.

So I'm waiting for results, and they better not be 'everything seems okay Mrs. Turgeon'. Not that I want something wrong...but I CANNOT do this anymore. I'm fed up. I was close to quitting my job in my haze yesterday because THAT's how fed up I was.

And let me tell you, lying in bed, with the sun streaming in and the geese flying back over the house and all the windows open and just the sound of the breeze was 1 million times better than the hustle and bustle and worry of whether or not I'll make it to work. I was awake early, but managed to doze off on and off this morning, no rush to get out of bed. I had breakfast in bed with the dog, and rolled over to snooze somemore. I finally got up for good, picked some stuff up around the house...not because I had to, but because I had enough energy for it! Then I had a snack, and took the dog for a little walk to the mail box. And yay! 24 S1 is in!

So that is all, I'm not doing ANYTHING today and enjoying ALL the silence and open windows and sun pouring in. I miss being at home alone.

But this time was because I put the pressure on. I called this morning demanding a few things:

#1 MY RESULTS!!!

#2 MAKE ME FEEL BETTER - since I'm FED UP!

Basically that's it, I ranted to the secretary how awful everything was, how my 90minute commute is killing me. How even though I sleep all day yesterday, I come into work and feel like I haven't slept a wink and am drained. I also told them of my new symptoms, swollen legs and major sudden migraines.

I just want to feel better...

So they called back 'rather quickly' and she said the doctor wanted to see me this afternoon. Let's hope she has some answers...or rather solutions. Have I mentionned I can't go on feeling this way for another 15 weeks? GOD FORBID when the weather gets hotter out!

It zoomed by and I was holding on for dear life! Sheesh Friday already, good thing is that I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone tonight!

This is a long recap of things that went on, in no particular order as you'll see!

Okay week 24 I really can't describe everything that happened mainly because I couldn't absorb it all. I spent more time in the hospital than I did at work. Seen more specialists than I have in all my life. I haveBut it seems tbe all god. I'm not as freaked out (yes I admit I lost my head and worried about EVERYTHING). My blood work from monday came back all good, and thankfully no diabetes - uhm which I celebratd with a large piece of ice cream cake leftover from my mom in-laws b-day! :)

The only thing worth noting was that my iron was a little low (even with my supplements and taking them with Vit C) So she prescribed me more as she really has no clue what is wrong - heck she even tried to make me feel guilty by saying that I'm the worse case she's seen in a long time. :p

I really don't care what she thinks, but it did reassure me by seeing a great cardiologist yesterday. He gave me more attention and advice than she has! "How's your swelling, your thyroid, etc...drink extra fluids, and not just water - Gatorade!" I had an electrocardiogram done, getting topless in front of strangers isn't my forte...and let me tell you more strangers saw me topless yesterday alone than ever before. Then we were led to an ultrasound of my heart - TRES COOL! I've never seen my heart before - knew it was there, heard it, felt it, but to see it is really something special! It's like - 'hey, that's what's keeping me alive everyday!' They took measurements, reassured me that my murmur was benign and hardly anything to worry about and that everything was normal. The staff was ULTRA friendly, all telling me to drink Gatorade and to rest and that they wish me all the best and hope that no one finds anything wrong with me. That had to be the nicest thing anyone has said to me since I've been pregnant.

They did hook me up to a heart monitor for the day and night. Again it was really cool, barechested and wires taped to me all around my chest...and stayed cool for about 2 hours. Then it was annoying - extremely irritating having wires over your already sensitive and itchy belly, then think of sleeping. Needless to say we both slept like crap, I tossed & turned, got caught in my wires which pulled the tape and made me jump, got annoyed of sleeping on the tape deck machine that was strapped to my shoulder.

And has anyone ever bonked heads in the middle of the night with the person lying beside you? I turned and Mike's head had crawled onto my pillow so *bonk*! Don't cram and squish a pregnant woman wrappped in wires!

At 5, the alarm went off, we had to drop this machine off at 8, which meant taking the 6am train to get there on time. Mike went for me, but I still had to take the stickers off. Here I was worried they were going to fall off at night - HA! 5am, groggy, grumpy, pulling crazy glue like stickers off very sensitive skin like under my armpit...OW! I helped Mike get his lunch and bag ready, and he left. I tried washing the glue off with tons of stuff, soap, alcohol, baby oil...nothing really worked 100%. I got back to bed, saw the pope's funeral on TV and fell asleep as they were praying to all 350 saints...one at a time...sheesh.

It's past noon, I'm up, washed up and just trying to make sense of this past week. I'm glad it's all good though. I've never been so fully examined by doctors or had so many tests done, and I'm extremely glad to be given a clean bill of health (so far) even with a baby inside.

Baby is kicking away and doing flips, the dog wants to take a walk and play with her new ball that she got grom my grandma and I've got to fill out insurance forms(yuck). It was super nice yesterday afternoon, as we decided to test this monitor thing by keeping somewhat busy. Took the bus and train, went grocery shopping, picked up some vegetarian sushi and hot italian salami for Mike which always puts a smile on his face. He then wanted to go to Sears to look at baby stuff. We found a stroller that we both like, saw loads of kushies things that were just so adorable and just had a nice time looking at baby things. It was the first time we went ALONE, no kids, no parents, just us. So we had tons of time to talk. It was really sweet of him to want to do that. At home I napped, he worked a for a bit then napped too. We ended up finishing the Gargoyles DVD snuggled in tons of blankets and the fire on, as it poured outside.

That is all for now! I have a neurologist appointment in a month as well as a chekup with my ObGyn. Yes I'm 6 months pregnant, and still not sure I'm going to stick with her until the end. I have someone else in mind.

Let me update everyone about being at home alone...Day 4 almost caused a major mental breakdown. All the women out there: you know that bursting out in tears for no apparent reason, or how any little thing/person can make you loose it. I knew it wasn't normal, I know I'm not usually like this, so I finally went to Jean Coutu for my iron. Yes I procrastinated, but I finally got them, after almost killing the pharmacist. Get this, I call the CLSC for a "woman issue" they tell me it 'should be okay taking something but confirm with my doctor'. I call my doctor who hardly gives me 1 minute and says to just go ask the pharmacist. So I go there to only have this individual tell me that she can't really help me to go ask my doctor! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Had Mike not been there and if I hadn't learned the stress relief breathing techniques the night before at the pre-natal, I would have let her have it. Again, very unlike me as I'm typically shy, but I felt this monster inside just dying to snap someone in two! To end, I left with nothing and still have that woman issue.

Thankfully I had enough sense (barely though) to force myself to swimming. It was the last place in the world I wanted to be, forcing a smile to strangers whom I really couldn't care about. The exercise was long awaited though and felt wonderful. I could literally swim all my stress and frustrations away. I should know better, I've always been super athletic and needed sports to keep sane, I really shouldn't stop for 4 weeks, and should probably go twice a week.

Oh...and the chocolate ice cream cone I got at Dairy Queen also lifted my spirits. *grin*

It's funny, I usually talk to my mom and dad every day or every second day. She's been out of town for over a week in BC, and Dad is in Toronto. The fact that I haven't had them to talk to has really been harder than I EVER expected. Weird eh? These are the same people who drive me crazy 75% of the time. Since I've been pregnant I've had moments where I've just wanted my mother to be around me. I think that's normal, but it's weird since I've always been uber-independant from them, and now I'm feeling kind of needy. In my head it's pathetic and weak of me to feel this way, but sometimes I really just feel the need to be babied by my own parents. This is honestly the last feeling I ever thought/expected to have and I'm half ashamed of admitting it. I also know that I won't ever be able to admit it to them.

That's all I have to say about that.

Indeed I'm alive. Things are good. I'm feeling more and more pregnant. Had a productive weekend, and maybe I did overexert (sp?) myself a tad. Okay maybe a lot. I guess a pregnant woman shouldn't be hands and knees cleaning the floors and bathrooms for over 2 hours. Then do house chores for another 3 hours. Oops. Then have a slew of people over until supper time without taking time to sit and rest or nap. Yes I'm in pain and exhausted today for it...but my bathroom is sparkling! Granted I didn't get to washing my windows or vacumming, but maybe soon. I also have to wash the car and do more spring cleaning stuff. I love the fact I have the urge to do these tasks that I would otherwise ignore, but hate the fact I no longer have the energy require to complete them! Uh, did I mention that the baby's room is not even begun! Nothing. Again a weekend task - but here's the thing, my hubby's not available for the next 2 weekends! Not that I want to pick the baby stuff (colour, furniture etc) myself, but it's looking more like the case simply since he's running in 5 directions at a time. And by the time he has a free instant he'll barely have time to paint and install things, so I may as well pick what I want and hope to God that it pleases him too!

Long time since my fingers typed away about baby. I think about it during the day and yes I could do long hand, but those who know me well, know that I don't do long hand anything. So here I am with tons of baby thoughts and updates that I'm dying to put down on paper.

#1 He's been nicknamed Squirt. Why? Use your imagination. Even tons of Kegels aren't helping when he decides to stretch all 14 inches and 2lbs of him onto my bladder. I just realized we got our puppy at about that length and she weighed 3lbs. So I have the size of a puppy (less hairy hopefully!) in my uterus! Sheesh what a retarded comparison!

#2 He kicked me so hard last night when I was sitting on the couch I actually got winded for a few seconds. He rarely kicks up, his feet are more to the sides and bottom so I rarely have him pushing against my stomach and rib cage (keeping my fingers crossed that he stays this way a while longer) I know so many women who have high babies and are really cramped, I on the otherhand carry so low that sometimes I hold the bottom of my stomach and feel him just lying there like in a hammock! The real painful parts are when he wedges his feet or head in my pelvic bone and pushes. Uhm...buddy boy, my bones will have some give to accomodate you, but TRUST me, they WON'T go any further! My hips are wide enough thank you! :)

#3 I've been so tired, even with all the naps, I still feel wiped after just 2-3 hours of being awake. And granted I don't rest as much as I should on weekends with stuff to do, but I think I'm starting to slow down. I'm winded after just walking up the stairs (so me dashing up and down a dozen times yesterday morning was more than enough work out!)

#4 My appetite hasn't kicked in yet, I'm in fact eating less than before. As much as I did pre-pregnant state. True I had an extreme sweet tooth a few weeks back that thankfully went away (so dangerous!) These days the only food I could eat tons of is grapes. I love grapes. oh...and chocolate ice cream. No.. not together.

#5 The doctors told me to drink more fluids, put it this way I feeling like a fish sometimes...the downfall...I constantly run to the bathroom - what a bother!

#6 I started to freak a little realizing we don't have a name for this little guy. Squirt won't get him many friends. I think I have to invest some time at the book store perusing through those name books for ideas.

#7 The room isn't even begun. No furniture, we don't even know what colour to paint or what decorations we want! Ahhh!! We won't get to it until May at some point, yes in numbers we have time left, but in reality Mike doesn't have many hours to spare until the baby is born and that's what stresses me little. I can't necessarily spend the day painting and installing moldings but feel I should be helping more! Atleast maybe going to stores and choosing some kind of patterns! The one part that is really annoying as I can't find a bedding or linens that I like! They are all so tacky!! My sewing is so not up to par and I am thus stuck buying a store bought set. I saw one that would be bearable with moons and stars, but it really isn't what I had hoped for. The search goes on! My sis-law told me about 'Rose ou Bleu' on St-Joseph, so I'll check that out soon.

#8 I'm clotheless. In the middle of 2 sizes! Ack! I have been lounging in my undies and Mike's t-shirt...thank God I don't have visitors in the day! *snicker* I should say I'm bottomless. Everything I put on, jeans, shorts, skirts feels so tight! I want something ultra baggy! I went through the box I got again but I feel so BIG, I'm growing and stretching, my belly button update is that I'm not an innie, and I'm not an outie. My belly button has just disappeared! (it's there, just flat!) I think that I'm going to resort to dresses. sigh...again if you know me, I'm jeans and t-shirt girl. But I put on Karine's famous belly growing dress and was so relieved that is was cozy and covered all of me, unlike a big t-shirt. I think another attempt at Thyme is required, cripes, if I have to back to work, I will have nothing to wear!!!

For now that's all I can write as I have my dog on my lap who keeps putting her big nose on the keyboard and with her on my belly for over the past hour, I'm squished and so is baby! :)

I woke up feeling 100% this morning, no aches, no cramps, and the baby was placed in such a way that my tummy is significantly smaller! He hasn't moved much since last night, and is in such a nice position! *huge sigh of relief* Hey it's even flattering to my figure (what a nice guy to give his mom a feeling sexier day!)

I found a comfy t-shirt in the bottom of my drawer, and am wearing the last pair of Mike's pj pants that fit me! So cozy today! This afternoon I'll get shower up and get dressed since we have our 3rd prenatal class (only one more to go). I really haven't found them helpful whatsoever and I'm always left to wonder if it's because I selected the english course and not the french one. Sure she speaks english, but not comfortably enough to give a course, so it makes for a long 2 hours of her looking for terms. It's not too bad, BUT I'm always left to wonder that if they were speaking in the language they were most comfortable in, would they not give more hints or advice?

Ah... A well deserved me day!

I was treated to lunch by my mom. We were supposed to go to Cora's, however with a 45 minute wait, we headed to Tim Hortons instead. It was nice to be able to just chat with her without either of us getting irritated. We caught up on baby talk, she's dying to feel the baby kick (being the only one who hasn't felt him yet!) Even Pa did, so she's feeling a little neglected and disappointed that even my mother in law felt him. I told her that she just needs to spend more time with us since I hardly see her anyways!

After lunch I caught up with an old friend who just had a baby last year - we chatted over an hour about baby stuff! Then I made my way to Sears and YIPEE! So happy with my find. Get this - Sears Days = lots of sales. I've been keeping my eye on this stroller/car seat that we really like in hopes that it goes on sale soon. So I get to Sears and see that the exact model is 90$ off (yay!) but not the colour we were hoping for(boo!) So I hesitate wondering if I should go ahead and get it anyways since it is nice, just not what I had in mind, but for 90$ off I'd be happy anyways! I don't go ahead and decide that I'd sleep on it one day and see how I feel tomorrow.

I then go to Thyme to browse, and actually see a few nice tops that I would like, considering 2 tops doesn't go far in a week! :) I don't buy but again just contemplate. Will go back soon though since I decided what I want to get now. :)

I pick up Mike and we go get the kids at school (and yay, everyone is good and happy and behaving!) Sweet Lord what a relief! Being such a nice afternoon Mike suggests we go back to Sears so he can see the stroller. We look around, hesistate abit more, then my genius husband goes to ask the sales woman 'when is this model going on sale?' A simple question that I NEVER thought of. Her answer... On Monday.

*Jumps for Joy* Yay, the one I want, sure not 90$ off, but 50$ but that's okay for us since it's the one we WANT and the newer model with a few more gadgets! The only thing it's backordered until ... July. hmph. That's okay, apparently it's only until July 2nd and since I'm due the 24th that should be okay, and Sears is reknown for getting things earlier than expected. So I am VERY THRILLED with this and will go on Monday to purchase it on Sale! Then I'll have 3 biggish items, the play pen (thanks mom&dad T.), the car seat and stroller (thanks mom&dad A.)

sigh...only the room to make now! :)

oh, and to finish this me day, we went to Gap to oooh and awwww over baby Gap stuff, and then to Old Navy (but didn't find anything there). Had a wonderful supper, then as Mike finished collating Copia I went to the corner DQ for...a chocolate ice cream cone *big toothy grin*

Little guilty confessions of my heart (shhhhh...) I've had chocolate ice cream every night this week...*giggle* I'm terrible! But terribly satisfied! :) And it's not like I have a pint or a huge bowl full, it's just like a small scoop!!!

or two... :)

You ever had a night where you know you ache, you know the position sucks and all the pillows pilled in bed stuck in various places in hopes to make you comfortable, just adds to the dull ache in your back, but being so tired you just sleep through the pain.

Until morning. Then the pain is excruciating and lying down is the last thing in the world I'm able to do. Ow.

The baby now has distinct awake and sleep times, he always has, but they were frequent as in 15-20 minutes and really too many to keep track of. It was like 'oh you're awake...again!' Now his times are more like hours, awake from 5-8 in the morning, happy and boucing, 11-1, then he's quiet most afternoons (where mommy takes her naps!) then by 4 or 5 he's around until 8, then awake again from 9 until 2am when he usually gets active enough for me to feel considerably sore. form his gymnastics. Yesterday for example I was talking to Mike when he kicked me so hard that I flung forward onto my hubby. I can take quite a bit of pain without flinching thanks in part to my kickboxing, street fighting and soccer background. Yet here is a 3lbs wiggly baby who can have me double over with a poke!

Speaking of baby, mom and I went shopping on saturday, she did the spending, like the baby socks she couldn't resist buying that said "I love grandpa". I got him a little outfit that was on sale at the BabyGap for 4$ instead of 18$ I love bargains! Mom picked up a few more things as well to help us prepare for this little one. I didn't really realize all the things you need. Going from having nothing at all, there are plenty of little things needed, PJs ranging from short sleeves for summer, long sleeves, legs, no legs, light material and a couple of outfits, blankets, sheets, spitup blankets, etc... I am so very thankful that we are slowly receiving things from our mothers as the weeks progress. I was also let into the loop that they are trying to plan my baby shower the long weekend in June (st-jonny the baptist) so by July we should be pretty much prepared and have everything in order. Until then though, I should probably focus on the baby room!

Slept in the other bed last night, I think the mattress on our bed is too soft for me right now, I get an instant back ache. So we made use of our 'guest' bed and both slept like babies. I woke up without any alarm, feeling rested, after a nice dream with the sun pouring in wondering what time it was since I have an appointment at 11:30. I got up to check, 7:45. Sheesh! So I called my mother to annoy her. yes, that's right, I'll admit it, I'm a trouble maker - and proud of it! Example of this morning, she picks up the phone and I say, "good morning mom, do you have any stretch marks?" (it's like 9am and she's at work).

*giggle* so after her spewing out a few choice words at me, we have a friendly go at each other, and basically she hangs up telling me to seriously get friends and a life. Ah, now I feel accomplished having irked her!

It's 1pm, and I just rolled out of bed. Literally rolled. I feel like a melon.

I've been awake since 10:45 - thanks mom for calling. :p But I'm so foggy brained the only thing I could do was lie in bed.

Yesterday after posting the baby sleep times - I realized I screwed up royally. I mentioned I'm a proud shit disturber right? :) Well, seems like sonny boy is too. This baby was not only awake ALL day he kicked me continually. I mean ALL day, not little kicks but the jaw dropping ones. I could not sit still for more than 2-3 minutes since I was getting booted in every which way and every direction. I think I have an octopus in there, not a kid. It looked like I had ants in my pants, I wasn't able to sit, nor stand, nor lie down. In bed Mike tried to calm him down but he too was getting whacked. Little trouble maker he seems to be.

I think maybe that's why I'm so wiped today, I managed to fall asleep despite the boxing match at around midnight I think and thankfully he didn't wake me up this morning. (so far so good, but I won't say it too loud)

We finished our pre-natal courses last night, again I thought is was mainly redundant. Granted the breastfeeding course was insightful, and the movie thatshe crammed in helpful, but really I'm starting to realize that there's not much preparation needed. Heck - we really can't mess this up. Maybe put the diaper on backwards...but I gather we will get the hang of that quickly enough. So far I've been reading as much as I can about pregnancy and babies hoping to learn everything I need to, however last night I realized that what's left is hands on practice. I'm not going nuts over what to expect, the only thing is to deal with what comes up, when it comes up. Sure it'll be great to have a baby room that's completed ready to go, but even then I figure I'll still be missing things that I didn't realize I needed. Like I'm anticipating a hot summer so all of the little Pjs I've gotten as gifts have no legs and short sleeves. Will I need longer Pjs? Who knows? A friend gave me some boy clothes yesterday, she has 3 boys and will no longer need them, but nothing under 2 years old. So I have these huge t-shirts and outfits that will fit in a couple of years! Maybe Karine if you want to look through them, there's some cute things! I even have a size 2-3 snow suit, brand new! I don't know where to store all these clothes that are too large!!! I'm having a baby - NOT a toddler!

So who do you think squirmed more?

Mike - when seeing the baby circumcised, the wound, bandages and how to take care of it.

Me - when seeing the mother with the c-section, the wound, bandages and how to take care of it.

All good. BP is a little low, she measured my stomach for the first time, she tried grabbing the baby (he felt violated) :) We heard the heartbeat, nice and loud and stable, he didn't wiggle around, I think he was sleeping. She confirmed that the small bump that tends to move around and make my tummy look lopsided is indeed his butt. I had suspected as much since I've been poking and grabbing his butt which makes him kick. It's very funny. I'm starting to feel distinct body parts as he moves around, in fact I tickled his foot the other day too. It should be fun going for my mother's day massage and having him massaged as well! Babies apparently love it!

Oh and as for the measurements I read something VERY interesting. Apparently the size of your stomach is correlated EXACTLY to the number of weeks that you are, no execptions. So that means if you are 28 weeks along, you are 28cm bottom to top. 35 weeks is 35cm. Hence doctors use it also as a guideline to see how far along you are. For those who have been reading me since the beginning I've always suspected I was a coule of weeks further along than what they thought...well today I measure in at...(drum roll please) 30cm. Not 28. Not that it matters since many women are either late or early by 2 weeks giving birth, but still, just one more thing pointing to the fact that I may be further along.

I gained weight which didn't surprise me with the ice cream I've indulged in. I also don't feel guilty about it as I enjoyed every pound! :) I won't be scheduled for another ultrasound, and there's not much else new.

I had a fantastic workout last night at the pool, it felt great! In fact I 'could' go again tonight, but I'm too tired from yesterday's session.

I'm now tired and going to nap.

I want to rip off someone's head. Grumpy doesn't do me justice. I'm feeling vicious, infuriated and particularly dangerous. I'm up, and I have not let my dog out of her cage yet, possibly for her protection, I don't want to let it out on her.

Everything went from all good straight to hellish.

Insurance companies don't consider pregnancy and it's particular ailments in my case to be a medical condition. True, pregnancy isn't BUT the LONG LIST THAT MY DOCTOR WROTE IS!!!!!! Oh, add insult to stupidity, I filled all my forms in english only to get back a letter of denial in french which and I quote "Puisque que n'avons pas de diagnostic, "pregnancy" n'est past un diagnostic...". Ofcourse it doesn't prove I'm completely invalid if you didn't KEEP reading the forms!

So here we are payday, and like most people in the world I expect something in my account payday since I do have some transactions going through, only to have nothing.

Oh and the best part...no phone call from anyone, not from my office (who are aware since they got CCd) nor from the insurance company either. So what do I do? Just sit here and disappear and not get paid? I'm not a total moron like in 'Office Space' who gets moved to the basement of the company, I need more than just the comfort of a stapler!

The lady at the insurance company that dealt with my claim...is pregnant. One of those "aren't you on medications or pills or anything? I'm on pills, you should have been put on pill X, it controls BP, in fact it stops the vomitting and lowers blood pressure." WHAT THE! YOU TWIT!! I have low BP, WHY would the doctor put me on something to lower it more!?!?!? Oh secondly...didn't anyone tell you that when your pregnant, ideally you shouldn't be drugging your kid!

She apparently didn't think that my condition was that severe, I quickly turned around and said, "well apparently you've never gone unconscious for any length of time, fallen down and hit yourself in the process only to have wake up with vomit all over yourself. My doctor thought that this was cause for BEDREST and hence also put me through a battery of tests and specialists in the past month."

"Oh" was the only response I got from her.

Update on paperwork insurance stuff: I spoke with my Dr. secretary who was nice enough to fax me a copy of everything in my file (if that isn't enough info I don't know what is). I will be sending that off tomorrow, along with a nasty letter. (keep everything and do everything in writting lesson#1) Then I wait...and wait...then eventually (they have bus. 10 days) they will get back to me and either approve, or deny. I'm not getting a good feeling about it though.

If they approve, happy dance. If they don't, then I then need my ROE from my employer and will try for the sickness benefits EI for pregnant women. I'll have all the documents ready so it should be quick to get an answer. IF that doesn't work...then in 2 weeks I will apply for early maternity leave. It will mean that I loose 2months of pay until then.

Oh...if I don't get anywhere with my company...I'm quitting. I won't be losing anything at all. My insurance coverage (or lack of it I should say) will fall to me paying the entire amount for coverage, and why should I spend that money when I'm already covered with Mike? Oh I loose the fact that they won't hold my job...uhm...have I mentioned I didn't mind? They have boxed my stuff anyways and I'm not guaranteed or wanted back anyways.

sigh...I am looking forward to having baby here, maternity benefits paid (so groceries can be picked up) and a nice quiet peaceful time raising our baby for the next few months.

Heck has anyone been so desperate for a job that handing out publi-sacs doesn't sound half bad for some extra dough?

Had a most wonderful weekend, felt like it lasted a lifetime! The floating bath was just amazing, I slept as I've been dying to lie on my back without any pressure on various organs (bladder mainly). I even slept through my son bouncing about the extra relaxed room as I floated in darkness. He must have thought he moved into a penthouse instead of the crammed studio he's used to. The massage was also wonderful, I didn't think my muscles were as tense as they turned out to be, I felt like jello after it all, it was a truly appreciated mothers day gift.

Yesterday was our hospital tour at the jewish. I'm glad we went, so many of my questions answered and reassured. There's only room for 1 in the jacuzzi, the labour rooms are quite nice, the only downfall though is that the chances of us getting a private room postnatal are very slim. This means that #1 more visitors for someone else, #2 hardly any room at all to move, #3 my hubby can't stay the night with us, #4 getting used to your baby is tiring enough with his schedule(or lack of it) you're also rooming with others as well, so quiet time will be non-existant. The neo-natal unit is really advanced and reassuring should baby need anything, and the nurses from our first impression seem very nice. It was kind of a shock when the guide showed us the bed with all the equipement, had the mirrors and stirrups and monitors...it kind of slapped me in the face that I'll be using that (and honestly I had doubts about wanting the labour part of this baby). :) I also realized it was a tad TOO LATE to change my mind.

A few things he's been doing lately - gotten the hiccups.... a lot....for hours at a time...his favorite hour for hiccups 4am. Lasts until 6am usually. Mommy gets just a wee bit irritated. Luckily mommy gets hungry at 4am so she eats breakfast and watches cartoons in bed like when she five. Actually got to see Owl TV!

For mother's day his new trick was sticking body parts up into rib cage until they feel jammed in there so tight that mommy can't really breath or sit. Nice son, for my birthday it was sciatica, mother's day - rib jamming. How considerate.

2 nights ago he felt it wasn't necessary to sleep... at all. So mommy read and ultimately finished her book waiting for baby boy to settle down and to cease punching and kicking her insides for just 5 minutes. Mommy waited until 3:45am.

He now responds almost always to people talking. His favorite person...Mike. He gets so excited when Mike's there. Ironically, when our son gets into his gymnastics routine, Mike's the ONLY one who can calm him down, so routinely in the middle of the night when I'm awaken by my stomach flipping around , I often just grab daddy's hand to put on my stomach until buddy boy calms down. Daddy often sleeps right through this.

Okay mommy update now. Something called insomnia. Should I awake at any time, I am guaranteed to be awake for about 2 hours. This really sucks during the routine 2am run to the bathroom. I am thankful I am at home so I can then sleep in the morning and catch up for whatever hours I missed. I can only imagine it, finally falling asleep at midnight, up at 2am until 4 am, then finally sleeps until 6am to go to work. Uhm...I don't think so. Mommy is also a little stressed about stupid things so chances are that's another reason for not sleeping well.

I'm also really really really wanting to start/finish this room. It'll be one last thing on my mind. The thing is I CAN'T decide on what to get. Tonight we're going crib looking ... again. I think I'm just going to go for something simple to match like a cream coloured bedding - it had cute sheep on it, that way, any coulour I pick for the walls will match. I'm quickly running out of patience for trying to find the right hue and shade. I also have to get a dresser, blinds, and (cross my fingers, my father in law insists and hopefully will get it for us) a rocking chair/glider. I picked up some baby hangers yesterday to hang up some outfits I have gotten, including the cutest jean jacket that I simply melt over. Since I'm feeling time is running out, I'm getting a head start with some washing of baby stuff so I did a load of that this morning. Yes it's early, but when you feel there's so much to be done, and nothing that can be done, baby laundry is where I turn too.

I've started hearing a bunch of horror stories about pre-term babies, some as early as 26 weeks, so getting the room done sooner rather than later is my priority...just in case.

As for the insurance stuff...no news yet. I contested with more paper work, we shall see.

So outside of sleeping, I'm feeling alright. There are days where the pregnant waddle kicks in, very attractive walk might I add...*oozes with sarcasm* my hips feel so loose I wonder how they remain attached. My stomach feels so tight and hard that I may just explode - keep any sharp objects away from me! Oh, and I'm unusually clumsy, in fact embarrasingly so. I can't keep a shirt clean for 5 minutes without spilling something on it. Yes Arin, it has gotten worse. I can't put on socks without tipping over, so hence it's sandal weather...but today my tootsies are cold! I also feel shorter, well my arms do at any rate. I can't reach things anymore, and the most frustrating thing is having a pillow fall off the bed and having to get it. I can't lean over and thus becomes a long and extravagent exercise of rolling over like a whale, getting up, then getting down on my knees to get it. Then having to heave myself back up and back into bed to roll over and realize that I dropped another. Yes yes...go ahead and laugh. A pleasant pregnancy effect (apparently doesn't happen to all women but) lets just say I know what an 18 year old guy thinks of and wants, and I'm enjoying it while it lasts!

That being said, I now can't think of any other baby things to update on!

I'm pleased to announce that we our on our way to having a baby room!!! We went crib shopping yesterday, first at Zellers where we were surprised at all the baby stuff that they have. We even had a crib and commode that we liked. The price was right, but the quality - the 'will fall apart if you put a pair of jeans in the drawer'. But atleast we left feeling encouraged that should our search fail, we would be quite happy with what we saw. Also we were impressed with their mattresses and prices, so that's where we will be picking it up when the time comes. Their extra firm and best quality was 65$.

We made our way to the Bay...bleh...not so much. Maybe one that was about 140$ more expensive but we weren't in love with it. It also didn't have any other furniture. Leaving there we decided we were still happy with the one at Zellers. We then made our way to our final stop, ToysRUs...again. Yes we've been there, yes we've seen what they have, but we had never gone a) alone, just the 2 of us. That made a huge difference, no parents babbling or rushing, no kids that to keep an eye on. At this point we had a basic idea of what we wanted. We walked around and came to 2. One really basic one that was cheaper by 20$ than Zellers, it was okay but we would haven't have liked it as much. Then the last one. In the wood we want, the style was a little fancier, the quality was much more solid as well. It was 70$ more than Zellers. Then we looked at the commode/changing table and turns out that it comes in the same wood on special delivery and the extra tower piece made the price cheaper! The quality and sturdiness couldn't compare, this one will last atleast through the early childhood years and isn't babyish.

So we went home with a crib - will get the dresser in 4-8 weeks AND we agreed on a bedding crib set! What's wonderful about it, it's 150$ cheaper than the other one we liked (ya, that makes a HUGE difference!) and it's REALLY cute. The story with the bedding is funny since we've seen it around and always said 'ya that's nice' and put it back. We did that 5 times. Yesterday it just clicked, I said to Mike, 'that's the one!' Picked it up and didn't look back! It's got 3-4 tones of calming blues, some cream and green and the design is moons and stars and clouds. I gush at it whenever I see it.

Now with that done, I'm feeling TONS better and it seemed to spark ideas for paint and decor!

The absolute best part of last night...it was REALLY fun. Mike and I weren't rushed, and we laughed the entire time.

30 WEEKS PREGNANT (yesterday)

So this is the boost of energy pregnant women feel - holy cow my house almost under went a full cleaning, reorganizing and redecorating...in 36 hours! By 2:30am I still wasn't tired but forced myself to sleep! It like the typical boost I got while I PMSed but multiplied by 150! There was NO lack of ideas racing through my mind on what to do around the house. We rearranged our bedroom - and it looks much more cozy now, more furniture in it (Karine you'd approve!) We did a massive clean up of the house, dusting and vacumming galore and even washed windows. Mike got this wonderful product that REALLY works well. I was skeptical at first, even nagged him for getting the wrong Windex, but wow, this made window cleaning fun and fast! (yes I'm out of my mind) It's the orange multicleaner one, washes filthy windows in a breeze!

We have a pretty good idea what needs to be done for the baby room and are starting to get our butts in gear. My Dad has offered to help Mike paint, plaster and all that good stuff, while Mom has offered to help me garden and make the outside look pretty while they paint. My inlaws offered again to do our vegetable garden(Italians get a real thrill doing that) and it will make them more than happy! I also suspect they may get us a tree for our yard. I have to say that Mike and I are so very blessed to have such wonderful, caring and helpful parents. They would do anything for us and we are so appreciative of everything they do.

Well..almost anything, my mother in law flashed me this weekend which almost made me go into labour. Now I love her and all, but she's a Nona (grandma) and quite tradional and of a certain age. We are close...but not THAT close. She felt the need on Saturday to talk breast sizes and most of all stretch marks. Uhm...while I stammered the next thing I knew her shirt flew up and I had horrible looking stretch marks about a foot away from my face and her pointing which ones were caused by which child. Then as quickly as I had my mom in law war wounds in my face she covered them up and went about getting more expresso. So yes, I appreciate the food and garden, but a show and tell was a little much to digest over coffee and cookies.

So here I am, off to do something else...I can't believe a few weeks ago I said I was bored! I have a scrap book to work on, a room to clean out, a game to play, a baby registry to complete, and gardens to play in! The best part...I have the ENERGY to do it!!!

Here I am...another chest size bigger...yes one day I wake up and the bra I wore yesterday, not longer holds these girls in place. Interesting feeling though, it seems that my rib cage got a little smaller - ofcourse I haven't measured myself throughout, it's bad enough I take pictures of my expanding form, why have it recorded! But I can put my bra on a tighter clip and it feels good. It's my cup size that went up. I used to be a 36A or 34B depending on the style. In about 5 months my rib cage went from 34 inches to a 40 and I fit a C cup pretty darn nicely. This morning, my 40D fits like a glove and I'm falling out of that C cup.

Two thoughts went through my mind: #1 hmmmm..so this is what Ds look like. #2 hmmmmm, either these don't seem that big, or I used to be really small! My mom said she was something like a 40 DD by the time she gave birth, that's just scary. I liked being small, I could get away without wearing a bra, now I enjoy sleeping in it as it holds these girls together. They're heavy! Good grief, I can only imagine my "concrete boobs" once my milk comes in! They'll be weapons of mass destruction!

On to another topic, I started a mini baby scrap book. Put in the ultra sound pictures and stuff like that. I had wanted to do something similar on a web site, but I realize having a physical version is special. I worked on it for about 2 hours this afternoon and also emptied part of the baby room, just waiting for Mike for some heavy stuff. Slowly but surely things will get done.

Aie aie aie I itch something severe! I slathered cream all over last night and it seemed to help.

Thankfully the baby isn't throwing himself around as much as last week. It's been two quiet days, he wiggles and squirms, kicks when my tummy in rubbed, and often gets the hiccups. I had the weirdest brain fart when he had the hiccups, I got myself a glass of juice hoping that if I drink it, his hiccups would go away. Duh! It seemed normal at the time.

Did not sleep all that well, I'll get pain and numbness in my hips if I sleep on my sides, lying on my back isn't comfortable and being on my stomach seems torturous. You try sleeping on a watermelon!

I got some scrap book done, I need to do my registry tomorrow as well as go to the kids Spring Concert at school, Melyssa is in the Wizard of Oz, and James is singing a few songs. Today I think I'll rest, swimming tonight.

Still no news from the insurance-you can't be starving and waiting for them I tell you.

I can't watch 24 anymore. I'm very sensitive when it comes to watching things on TV or movies. I can't take horror movies, and suspense gives me such a know I could get a hernia. Add pregnancy to that, we got to 11am and noon of season 1 and my water almost broke! I just can't take it, I get too caught up into it.

Thankfully, we've passed a big climax in the season, maybe a few more episodes won't do any harm. The stress just can't be healthy for the baby!

Yay to getting Quantum Leap Season 3 for Mike's birthday, Sam and Al I can take any day. Mmmmmm... Sam bare-chested - they don't have Jack shirtless enough. And Sliders season 3 is also on it's way out. yummy Jerry!

Okay, my mid-day drool is done.

I've had 2 great days. Yesterday was fun meeting Jen and her baby for the first time, she's so sweet. I got plenty of new mom advice from her and Karine, they answered all my off the wall questions from diapers to nipples. It's reassuring speaking to people who are going through it at the moment. My newest thing seems to be insomnia so anywhere from midnight to 4am I read horror stories about births and labour. Then when I'm done I lean over and whisper to Mike(who's passed out beside me) how I'm glad to have him since I doubt I'll be able to bath our baby, what if I get water on the cord. Or what if I don't know how to change a diaper and the baby stays in poop up to his ears all day long. Or what if he pees and hits the ceiling where I can't climb and wash it off...etc. Yes the "oh-my-what-am-i-to-do-3am-worry-which-is-worsened-by-exhaustion" Thankfully Mike's sweet enough (oh, and plenty patient) to deal with me.

Oh ya, back to my day. So I spent a lovely afternoon with them, picked Mike up and went to Laval for the kids school concert...sigh...that's all I have to say. It's SO disappointing to see kids and the lack of behaviour, discipline and just plain manners. The kids weren't even dressed nicely, and in the entire concert (grades 3-4-5-6), 5 kids had shirts tucked in and dressed nicely. So we left discouraged.

Today I was wiped, but got out of bed to go for lunch for our pastors birthday at Cora's. It was nice seeing the church women, I haven't been due to my fainting spells, so catching up was nice. I also bumped into old co-workers from the bank...grr...thankfully there was atleast one that I liked and we briefly chatted, while the others listened for gossip. Typical BS.

I left there, and went to ToysRUS for the baby registry. Half will be there, while the rest of it will be at Sears. It also doesn't bother me if it's not gotten at ToysRUS or Sears if they can find it cheaper elsewhere. I figure it's a place where I can list the things I need. I basically spent 90 minutes with the gun! Yay!

I spent the rest of my day at Chapters looking for baby names (no luck) I went through 10000 of them! Also browsed a few books, and relaxed the day away.

Now it's off to RONA time for paint!

We have baby paint, yay! 4 gallons and some materials to start on the room. The moldings are soon to come, maybe next week, depending on when I can get those Rona gift certificates that I redeemed from VISA. It's a beautiful day out today, really warm too. I guess it'll make up for the lousy weekend they announce. Here I was hoping to get my gardens and flowers done. Tonight mom and I are going flower shopping, so that if it rains we can atleast do the baskets in the garage.

Right now I'm at Karine&Adam's watching Matt. So far so good, he's sleeping! :) I guess this will be my practice, diapers and all! The "plan" (ha if it ever goes as planned) is to feed him lunch, change him a few times, give him a bottle, then play with him. We shall see how the afternoon turns out!

My baby is doing just fine, in fact I'd be willing to say that this must be the most wonderful time in my pregnancy so far. He's moving a lot but it feels so wonderful inside, almost massage like (okay, not when he kicks my pelvic bone) but still he feels so cushioned and cozy in there. When he moves you always see it through my shirt now, even the hiccups are visible. He responds so much to our voices, still loves his daddy so much! Mike will often put his hand on and I swear baby will put his hand back. It's really sweet. Especially when baby moves to follow Mike's hand. I'm feeling more hungry but not really, I get the urge to eat, then I'll have 2 bites and be full. So not satisfying. My eyes have yet to adjust to my squished stomach as I'll make a regular portion and not be able to get through 1\4 of it. The downfall, I eat 2 bites, 10 minutes later...hungry again. Last night Mike was so sweet making a huge tuna salad (I've been craving for 3 days), it was great since I could eat a lot without feeling too full! Speaking of last night, TV was so good. The O.C. (awesome), C.S.I (just fantastic) with Tarantino directing and writing, and E.R (end or an era) with Dr Carter leaving....boy I realize these shows are all abbreviated! Then I watched George Lucas being interviewed by that guy on channel 33 (can never rememeber his name). I fell asleep to him droning on about wanting to do new projects now, that Star Wars is done for him, and that he was never happy with the first 3, until he got to redo them.

What is this perpetual tiredness? I'm just drained. The worse is that I can't even sleep during the day, I'm too tired, and feel quite guilty about getting up at 10am, to take a noon nap. I had all these hopes and plans for today, including reseeding my lawn, raking top soil over the yard, and even maybe starting that garden...but just taking a bath this morning made me tired, I wonder if I am just over enthusiastic.

Last night was fun, Mike got home extra early, 5:05 to be exact! He washed our stinky dog, who is now as cuddly as a cotton ball! He then took time to unwind, and we left for RONA and swimming. The store closed at 6pm so we decided to go to the other Rona after class which was open until 9pm. Swimming was fun, but again, I feel great doing laps, have been doing 4 laps since the beginning, and I could probably do more given more time, but after 40 minutes and the last aerobics part I'm drained. I just float, and given enough noodles, could probably nap in the pool. :)

We then rushed to the store, got another gallon of paint and grass seeds and fertilizer. By the time I got home I was so hungry for meat and gravy I could have poured gravy on my dog and eaten her. I ate (not the dog) too quickly - which usually happens when I get famished and we went to bed. Oh how healthy.

So now, it's real pretty out there, and I may try to install myself somewhere for fresh air, after all this rain! Maybe I'll nap on the swing!

I'm still pregnant. I can't believe I've been pregnant for over half a year now. It seems like forever. I'm starting to have moments with lack of patience and a definite lack of fondness of the moving around. I feel like a bad mom for not oooing and ahhing at every kick or hiccup, but cripes it just gets a little annoying at times, mostly at 3am. So I breathe, and usually snap a little remark at Mike that he should try living with this kid inside him who doesn't pay any rent. (yes I get snarky at times)

Aside from the lack of patience, everything is fine. A real cute thing is that he reacts to us even more than before. He'll bounce when we talk, and kick if we yell at the dog, and squirm and punch like there's no tomorrow when we tease him with a flashlight. That had to be the most wonderful so far, an intelligent being responding (angrily at that) to being bothered with a flash light. Now when he gets hiccups it's not just a gentle bounce in one spot, my entire belly shakes, I can feel and see the entire body shake with every hiccup. Outside of tiredness, I'm feeling fine. I'm wearing down slowly though, my back aches more when I work, I still faint, like just this past monday. I've had heartburn maybe 4 times since the beginning, my cravings have kicked back in again, but for things like meat. I get slightly swollen ankles by the end of the day, but still proud to say I can wear my wedding ring!

My dreams are very vivid, had a weird one yesterday that this baby would be a girl. I woke up freaking that I didn't have anything pink just in case. Most people wouldn't think twice, I on the other hand was supposed to be a 10lbs baby boy. They screwed up. What if the same thing happens to me? So that was my most recent worry. I also know that I feel sometimes, unable to make a basic decision or opinion. It's really bad, also add to the fact I can't remember much. I'm looking forward to feeling like myself again, because honestly this isn't me. I get stuck on having to clean or do something and it has to be now. I can try to rationalize myself out of it, but the urge to do it before baby comes is very strong. Like my gardens, the lawn, the back deck, the room, cleaning my drawers, washing windows, and garage. I don't know if it's because once the baby comes I'm unable to know how much time I'll have to do things, or maybe it's a fear that once the baby comes, it will take up all my time and the rest of the house will start falling to pieces. Again, logically I know that won't happen, but the feeling is there and I can't shake it!

Oh and speaking of irrational worries, here's one for you. Let's just say that the other day baby got squished by Mike. I don't have to get into details do I? Anyways, it really hurt. Here's my thought, what if we really squished him, like he comes out deformed or something. Like a shit-zu and a flat face, I'll feel so guilty. You see!!! I swear I'm nuts!! I was a logical woman once, now I have STUPID thoughts going through my mind and I CAN'T control it.

Okay that's enough blogging, you now all think I'm a truly certifiable nut case.

oh...I got declined from my insurance again. I told them what I thought (politely though) called my work explained to them what the situation is, (not being able to wait another month for money which isn't even guaranteed) and she told me she was sending me my ROE via courrier which is going to be backdated from my last day of work, so I can claim sickness leave through the maternity plan. When I get those papers I claim immediately, and should all go well, get refunded within 2 weeks for the duration of my pregnancy and for the 6 weeks that I'm missing.

Patience...deep breaths...and looking at my baby's clothes and socks keep me sane and calm through trying times since I know everything now is insignificant compared to the little baby that we're getting.

A huge thanks and lots of kisses and hugs to Mike and my Dad for the great work!!! A few shots of the room, in fact the last one, minus the green tape is pretty much how it turned out. I'll upload more as the furniture gets made, also I'll get different angles and better light! It may be hard to see but the colours are different, the original beige is much lighter now with the 'cotton rag paper' on the top of the walls and the ceiling.

What a weekend! I love my husband. He catered to EVERYTHING I wanted done! My to do list that had been compiling in my head for weeks was reduced to nothing by last night! He would do one thing then say "next on you list?" and go off and do that!

I had pictures hung, doors repainted and cleaned, baby closet doors installed, all borders finished, the crib installed, the baby mattress purchased, picked up, and bed made! Shopping with mom Aragona, she got us a few things off the registry. Yay! I realize one thing I would love to have is a baby album, something from Hallmark or somewhere to keep track of baby moments, I also would love to have ink to take foot & hand prints since they don't do that at the hospital anymore. I've been working on making the pregnancy one, which is a lot of fun and will be great memories for the us and the baby! The baby room is coming along, just missing the curtains, the commode and a lamp. Saturday night we rented "In Good Company" which turned out to be a lot of fun! A huge bowl of popcorn, and a bowl of M&Ms with a good movie, a really fun night!

Sunday we slept in peacefully until 9:30, (that seems to be my regular wake up time). Then we tackled the outside. I had been watering the grass for a few days since we hadn't had rain in over a week! Even when it rained in town, it was hot and sunny at home since 2 Wednesdays ago. No rain yesterday either, even though they announced it. Mike tore out the grass by the side of the house, dug up a garden for me and we put in the 2 plants I had. In fact one bush. I'm missing some topsoil to even things out, but for now it's good. We then took care of our tree by putting more earth and nutrients. It seems to have been helpful since within 2 minutes the Robins were bouncing about the tree picking at the soil. It was 3 hours of hard work for Mike so he went in, showered and napped for the rest of the day (poor guy got mild heat stroke). I on the other hand, wasn't done with my garden. I needed rocks under my gutters and around the propane tank to look pretty. So I sat under my deck in the dirt and rocks and went rock picking. Large ones, small ones. I washed them all, yes sitting in dirt and grass, soaking wet, playing in mud but washing rocks. Then arranging these rocks nicely as I could again lying and sitting in the grass. I was a mess, but kept surprisingly cool with the hose pouring all over me. Luckily I wasn't forcing myself so my back didn't give out and I kept well hydrated, unfortunately I got too toasty on my back and shoulders. 3 hours later, I finished the 3 areas, didn't look like a big job, but it was and it's nice!

Called my folks, went over for hotdogs (we were all wipped from the day) and got home by 9. I was sleeping by 9:30.

Yay it rained!!!! For all of 10 minutes. To give you an idea, I had my sprinkler on all morning.

Now it's sunny hot and HUMID. Yuck. I'll need to water my lawn and garden if the weather keeps doing this! It doesn't rain here!!! ARGH! It's sunny! They announced cloudy, overcast with showers and thunder showers! I need my seeds to grow! Rain!!!

So I'm locked in my house, in the dark. All my curtains and windows were shut this morning once the air outside got warmer than the air inside my house. I thankfully got enough of a cool breeze last night to make it bearable in here. Any time I have to go outside, or my dog I quickly open then shut the door to keep all the freshness in the house.

I just came back from running errands and let me say YUCK! It's gross out there! I started planting my last pot (only to run out of soil) but the 10 minutes I was outside, I'm drenched. Nasty nasty nasty humidity! I had to water my plants, they were droopy. Now I'm in, my final papers with the EI office given in, gaz in the car, picked up my last flower that I was missing, even got myself a dollar store table cloth for the patio table. Now I'm staying locked up since this weather is enough to kill a pregnant woman...or at the very least make her VERY IRRITABLE.

I usually enjoy taking baths, recently though cold showers are all I can deal with. I mean ice cold, no hot water what so over. This seems to be the only way to deal with the hotness. That and sitting under the hose! :)

Humidity - not as disgusting as yesterday

Heat - definately more bearable

Grump Factor - much better thank you for asking

A good night sleep with a breeze cooling me off, and lots more liquids and fruits going to my brain has made me more human today.

The wind is INSANE!!! I watered my plants, found some black earth to finish my pots and touch up my new garden. Watered the tree, played in the hose and cooled off my toes. Had a Mr. Freeze with my toes in a puddle that I made.

The good nursing bras (Warners) on SUPER SALE at WalMart this week, I think it starts saturday. It looked like it was going to rain...but no...it flew by again.

Swimming tonight! Yay water!

Woke up in a nasty nasty way. I've gotten the occassional leg and calf cramp throughout my pregnancy, all bearable pain compared to my soccer injuries. This morning at 6:20 however my calf was being torn right off my leg. Excruciating pain! I jolted up (which is usually much effort)within a split second, yelled out a decent loud "OWWWWWWWWWWW" (which I'm sure the neighbours heard and though I was in labour) tried to grab my calf to rub it - but couldn't reach the spot, tried wiggling my toes and flexing it back and forth only to feel like I may rip something. Mike (Thank God he was home still) darted up the stairs and with wonderful cold hands massaged my calf and within seconds, his magical fingers made that horrible pain go away. Just to give you an idea of how painful it was, I'm sure I pulled a muscle since I'm still wobbling from it. It wasn't the usual leg cramp - I've had hundreds in my life, torn tendons, ripped muscles you name it, I had it with my legs. This was torture.

The EI office called. Someone is WORKING on my file! Yay! Yay! Yay! It's just nice to know that someone, somewhere is doing something for me. Obviously this may be premature since they have not yet rendered a verdict yet, but it's nice to know someone is doing something.

The best part must have been the reason why she called. She wanted me to provide proof that I have been contesting with my personal insurance company for over a month thus it took this long. *Puffs up shoulders* I gave that in yesterday . So she said she would check into that and continue my dossier.

Someone, somewhere is working on making my life better....hopefully.

Slept in our basement for the first time. Weird noises to get accustomed to. Thankfully had a fan, even down here. The poor dog looks miserable sprawled across the concrete floor searching for cool. Mike told me I looked miserable too - and I'm not even sprawled across the floor. The smog also gets to me, I just can't breath - even had to pump myself. They say this weather should go until Tuesday.

Took a cold shower this morning - helped for about 45 minutes. I think I'm due again. Atleast I'll be the cleanest person around!

baby hiccups...atleast 6 times a day. Must be a growing stage. Apparently hiccups are helping develop his lungs so he can breath - I'll encourage him to hiccup away! But it's still past 1am and I'm still trying to sleep.

Baby is the size of a roasting chicken...5 lbs.

We are waiting for the car seat and stroller to arrive in July. Also waiting for our commode to be delivered.

Looking forward to seeing everyone this weekend for the shower, I hope it won't be too hot! In fact now there are huge black dark clouds finally looming over the house. I'm begging for rain and lots of it! I want to sleep at home tonight! Slept decently here, lots of things running through my mind and with 3 dogs stuck to my legs and my body, took a while to get comfy.

Thankfully I'm not as hungry as yesterday, but the humidity gets to my body. If I stand for too long my ankles start to swell. It's always worse by the end of the day, but the remedy is putting them in cold water. I'm feeling big but not big. It's weird. I'm not that big considering I have a 5 lbs kid in me and I thankfully have a long torso to accomodate the baby. I just feel big when my skin feels so tight (like now) and he pushes outwards. I've put on 30lbs until now, which I'm relatively pleased at. I knew I would never be one of those moms who only gain 15-20 lbs. Heck anyone who knows me well pre-pregnancy, knew how stickish I was and everyone I've seen has mentionned that I've filled out nicely.

hmmm... then again, I don't think anyone (mother excluded) would tell me I was fat and ugly eh?!

I'm also looking forward to Mike's fathers day gift...yes another massage and floating bath. This one will be just delightful, my back and shoulders and feet could really use a good rub!

Great thing about my parents place, their internet is high speed! I have been surfing all day. Surprisingly searching for...baby names. No we haven't got one yet. The worse is that my mind keeps changing! One day I'm satisfied with one, then the next day it's no good. Mike is probably reading this now and just shaking his head and thinking 'not again'.

It's POURING finally! It only started at around 8:30 this morning to drizzle. We had thunder and lighting at around 4am but no rain. Apparently it poured EVERYWHERE else in montreal, but once again...not over my house. Then at 9:45 it started to rain properly, you know that refreshing and cleaning way with the cool breeze cooling off the earth. So what do I, desperate pregnant woman do with a bedroom at 29C...OPEN ALL my windows in th pouring rain. No nothing was coming in except for a delghtful wind. In 2 hours my bedroom in down to 21C, my living room is 20, and my basement still about 27 (not enough windows down here). On top of opening all the windows I have the fans blowing the cool air on full. Yes it may be nuts...but ask me if I care! I slept so wonderfully this morning cuddling with my comforter!

Tonight is my last pregnant mommy swimming class ironically enough on a rainy day. I could have used it last night when my ankles decided to swell! Also took a 34 week photo of my stomach last night - Mike has the funniest reaction whenever he sees me through a picture...it's like it makes it real for him. He sees me every day, tells me all the time I'm not that big and I'm gorgeous, but when he takes my picture and he looks at it through the LCD screen, his eyes widen, jaw drops and exclaims "woah! what a belly!" It didn't help that baby was positioned in such a way he was trying to rip his way out! My skin was so stretched yesterday it was numb and itchy(I could have pierced my belly button and not felt a thing!) and I had his limbs poking out constantly. I can say that I'm not tired or fed up of it yet...but there are days I would love my body back. But soon enough I gather, it's almost done.

Errands this week involve, Docs appointment tomorrow morning, go to Fairview (need a calender), Walmart (nursing bras), order the food for saturday, and saturday bring my puppy to get pretty and groomed.

Mike and I also sat down to talk things to do...prepare suitcases, make contingency plans (we need many) may have kids-may not (who picks them up and cares for them), who will take puppy, I may be home alone no car-or with the car (mike without) and not going to drive myself there, may be during the weekday with Mike downtown unable to get home quickly with no train service and only bus. So yes there are a few things to think of, and a few people to ask and prepare.

Fruitcicles

MMMMmm just polished off leftovers from last night supper at St-Huberts with my 'rents. Now I'm sitting here eating 2 healthy fruitcicles...in fact I'm holding both of them, one strawberry kiwi, the other a strawberry frozen yogurt one. Wait....

All gone and yummy in my tummy!

4 hours of sleep. From 1am (took baby that long to clam down enough and not bounce side to side) to 5am, woke up twice in that time and was in so much hip pain by morning that I reluctantly got up from the cozy bed. It was perfect sleep in weather too! So I sat on the floor, walked around, watched my husband and puppy sleep in bed as I fought the hip and back pain...I think it's sciatica.

By 6am, Mike woke up to only snooze another half hour, where I proceeded to make us a pot of coffee, make him a lunch and iron his shirt for work. He had breakfast while I got dressed and we left by 7:10am for my 34week appointment at 8:30. Got there early, only to wait until about 9:15 since she was late...again. She checked me out, told me I put on WAY TOO MUCH weight, I told her it wasn't weight as much as water rentention and swelling due to the heat (I don't think she lives in the same world as the rest of us!) Still she checked my BP which is normal, didn't measure me either, grabbed my tummy briefly and determined quickly enough that baby had indeed his head down - but she did seem hesistant not certain about the other bump...but she seemed to make up her mind and even stated that he actually had dropped. No shit sherlock, could have told her that with my 30 minute bathroom runs and the extreme pressure in my hips and pelvic area. Told her about my contractions but she didn't seem concerned, just said that I was likely already 1cm dilated. Cool. If the other 9 where as easy! HA!

Then the good news, if you've been keeping track, you'll know my feelings about her. She tells me today that she's "on vacation" for the month of July and won't be able to follow the rest of my pregnancy. She MUST have known for awhile her vacation plans but just shared them with us today. In fact she went on to say and categorize how ALL first time mothers give birth late and that chances are that she'll be back by the time I actually pop. Don't think I need to write my thoughts about this do I? She then reassured me that they would induce anywhere between 7-10 days past due date which would bring me to early August (the 3rd) hmmm. Yes I know it's possible and probable that I am late. But it was the same fashion and tone that she said on day 1 that I was a low risk and boring pregnancy - did that turn out to be the case? No. Not high risk - but somewhat hectic at times. So here's my incentive, since I didn't want or need her to deliver my baby in the first place, I need to get this sucker out before she comes back to town!

No not really, but let's just say I'm REALLY looking forward to meeting the new doctor and see her approach. Heck she may actually take the time to do her job! She's new, and young and perhaps has a bedside manner! AND the other good thing - we'll be using a good old trusty scale, instead of this electronic , so just maybe I may loose weight - it really wasn't healthy what I saw today.

I got home exhausted and wanting to crash and get some much needed shut eye. I had promised to call Karine however, and by doing so booked my afternoon. We went to see Mr&Mrs Smith (quite a good movie, much better than expected, and much funnier too!) Then went for some food and drinks in Lachine where the baby talk continued and I got much needed and appreciated advice and tips!

Now we are home, Mike is toast, I am drained and puppy wants to play.

Ahhh, all good. Slept 12 hours straight! I was cozy! No pains, no aches, no baby moving (maybe he was but I really couldn't care). I was knocked out cold from 10:30 until about 11:45 this morning...okay that's more than 12 hours.

I will be hopefully cleaning up this place a bit, then tonight running errands and grocery shopping when I get the car. I hate malls and stores on weekends and will do anything to avoid them, so if it means dragging my butt until 9pm tonight, so be it! Atleast I won't fight parking lots on Saturday or Sunday.

Mom is going nuts with the planning of the shower and been working her butt off doing everything. She works all day and runs around till stores close to get everything together. I have offered to help seeing how berserks she's going obviously trying to have everything perfect and also telling her to relax, that it'll be fun and just fine. I have to say I'm not one to feel comfortable about people doing things for me and seeing them bust their pants makes me feel weird and bad. I just don't think I'm worthy of all the effort and time. Granted turn the tables around and I'd do the same thing for anyone else in a heartbeat but the fact it's for me and baby makes me feel awkward. I really wish Mike could come along, and mom even finally agreed that he can be there - but he's the one who refuses to go. Reason: he'll feel weird with all the women - even though he KNOWS everyone!!!

so,I haven't done anything pratical today. I simply made a few phone calls to see when my orders will be in. My commode will be late.

Called one of my friends to chat, apparently she's been given next wednesday as her induction day. She's royally fed up at 39 weeks and is counting do-do's until then. Our other common friend is also in the hospital presently getting hers and someone else we knew had hers last week. I on the other can't help but feel like one of the last people on earth who's pregnant. 5 weeks - doesn't seem long...but yet seems so far away!

Had a very very nice day! Woke up super early all excited, feeling like it was x-mas and I was a kid. Got up at 6:30, made some cereal, took a nice long relaxing bath, and by 8:30 I was back in bed cuddling with mike and puppy. We all got up, I went downstairs and realized I was still exhausted and would never make it through the day without more shut eye. I fell asleep by 9 on the couch and Mike woke me up at 11:30. Thank goodness for the nap. I had a quick bite to eat, got dressed and left by noon to drop off the dog for her groom. She needed a shave to help clear up her sensitive skin. So yes, she looks like a poodle but I know it will do her some good - heck it'll grow back soon enough and now I'm looking for low maintenance since I'm in no position to struggle to brush her and clip her nails now.

I got to my parents by 12:30 and chatted with dad who prepared the most wonderful thing in the world - a chocolate fountain. No no, I don't think I can explain how cool this thing was!!! I would have had so many more friends as a teenager with this one device!!! :) People started arriving and we ended up being a small group of about 10, old friends from my past, new friends, and friends from church and of all ages. Mom planned a great day with great food, did I mention the chocolate fountain and fresh fruits? :) She also had little games which honestly didn't turn out corny at all! I got a kick out of the jelly beans in the bottle, and the ribbon one where people had to guestimate my size! I think everyone had a nice time which honestly is all I hoped for. I received also a wide variety of gifts from a painting that my old neighbour who's known me since I've been 3, to a link-a-doos chair, to tons of great smelling soaps/creams/scrubs and stuff for mommy, got some really cute baby clothes, a huge piggy bank, a great cook book, a crib ruffle, baby socks, rattles, cd and a great basket with tons of items for baby like soaps, oils, wipes, spoons, diapers etc.... (I'm racking my brain thinking I forgot to mention some stuff). I must say that I love getting gift bags with lots of little surprises! What was also nice was the fact I just didn't get all generic things like all fisher price stuff but that the gifts were all personalized!

I must say I so appreciated the day and having people come to celebrate the baby and me and my favorite part was ending it with my closer friends just eating jelly beans and chocolate covered fruit.

At home, Mike helped me unpack the car, and immediately went through all the stuff, reading the cards and looking at all the gifts. We brought everything to the baby room, sorted things out, put things away and Mike assembled the rocker. Ahhhh we're getting there! It's so wonderful to have Mike so involved and interested. It's moments like when he shares with me that he was really looking forward to holding his baby, or when he puts some loose change into the piggy bank for the first time that really melts my heart.

Don't know what happened. Fell asleep yesterday afternoon for 45 minutes, called Mike at work and asked if he could possibly come home - I just needed him. Yes I just needed him here, I needed my best friend with me to just hold me. What was wrong? Who knows! But from the time I called him to the time he drove up, I sat pathetically by the door for an hour and a half with the dog and waited for him to come home.

Just his presence made me feel better, just his energy gave me an energy lift. It was like I was drained and lost. The sweetheart made me a great supper, we sat and chatted and I felt myself just cheering up. Then we put together the beautiful swing that my in-laws got us for the baby as a shower gift. Just spending time together was what I needed as I felt good enough and inspired enough to read, so I picked up the wonderful cook book I got this weekend, sat outside on the swing and read while simultaneously checking out my hubby while he mowed the lawn - he's just so darn sexy!

I'm so thankful he was able to leave early and come home. Mom called and scolded me for even asking him to do that since she thinks it's a waste of time and weak of me, and that Mike should save all his days and time off for when the baby comes. What she doesn't comprehend is that we have an agreement that we as a couple comes first. Even after the baby comes, Mike and I are the foundation for this family and if we need time together to get stronger or just maintain the healthy foundation that we've built, then that's the important part. So yes, perhaps one day I'll need him to come home early for the baby, but he also knows I'll NEVER ask him unless it's a dire situation and that yesterday must have been the first time.

Huh?

Who would have thought about false labour during Batman Begins? I sure as hell did as I sat uncomfortably in my chair for 140minutes.

Everything was going well, Mike got home, we left with no rushing to the theatre for the 6:45 showing. Got into our seats and waited for the movie with much anticpation! Then baby starts to kick, and move and push vigorously. It's all good, I calm him down without too much trouble, then contractions. One, then another, then baby moving, then contraction, then baby trying to rip his way out, then another. They were managable so I didn't worry, I figured maybe it was the fact that the movie was loud that kept him jumpy. Then there was more discomfort, and more kicks and pushes and more contractions. hmmm... Mike sat there literally watching Batman with one eye, and me with the other. He even offered a couple of times to get up and leave! No way, I had waited and paid good money to see this film, this baby was just going to have to wait!

Things eased up for maybe 15 minutes in total, but other than that, the contractions were on occassion quite frequent, lasted for quite a while, and getting stronger. BUT I just knew it wasn't the time. I knew it was fake, and deep down I knew that I would just know when the time is right.

I also figured I was in no position to tell if by getting up and moving around things would ease up, so I endured. The movie - as good as everyone has stated, finally ended, I slowly got up to my feet and realized just how drained I was. My legs could hardly support me, and I just wanted to close my eyes and sleep. Walking around helped but I was still having contractions 3 by the time we walked to the car and drove off. But they just weren't consistent or regular or always painful. I also know that the first stage can last days, or even weeks so we figured the best thing to do was to get home and to rest, that if things got serious that I would wake up.

I was right - slept right through until this morning 7am, the only thing remaining, a slight but very managable back ache.

Can you imagine, Batman Begins would have been Baby Begins and Mike wanting to name Baby Bruce, or worse...Alfred! :)

My back feels now like it's been stomped on by a herd of dancing elephants.

Also just ate lunch since I woke up, the TV was on (must have rolled on it while I napped) and The Balance: Healthy Living show was on and speaking of pregnancy. Figures eh? Well as I watched it through one eye and cuddled on the couch, the show made me feel guilty about my chocolate indulgences, made me realize that indeed my kid may not be optimally intelligent due to my lack of Omega3 in fish and salmon (Mike that's what we're having for supper now), that I'm not eating enough protein (which I suspected already) and basically not eating enough, which increases the chance of having a fat kid. They were showing the amount of food and frequency that a pregnant woman should eat - I eat half that, and honestly only when I'm hungry. Granted I indulge in some "empty calories" (chips and popcorn and ice cream) but am lost in why I gained so much weight when I eat only half of what is recommended! The half that I do eat is pretty darn healthy and balanced too - like the 2 lbs of cherries I ate this weekend!

So after a warm bath to help my back, I had enough energy to do some laundry, make the baby bed, re-organize the baby clothes, and basically putz around the baby room with Blue Rodeo blasting throughout the house. The puppy was helping me find matching baby socks - do you realize how tiny those things are! The tiniest by far are the ones I got from Lu, I doubt they even fit on my pinky!!! I continued adding things to the small hospital bag - which is hard to do since I really don't know what size baby to expect! So I packed extra small, and small. It's not as if it takes up loads of space so why not have 2 sizes. What I'm racking my brain on is trying to figure out what I want to wear out of the hospital. I'm leaning towards a skirt instead of jeans.

Luckily for us we had plans at the Ovarium that afternoon which saved us from enduring the heat. Instead we floated for an hour and had another massage. That was for Father's day and probably my last Spa Day until the baby comes! Again, the floating bath was just awesome as I slept on my back with no weight from the baby! Even the baby seemed to sleep right through! Then for the massage they had installed me on these high tech cushions where I could lie on my stomach!!! Again, something I've been looking forward to for months now! I've also had dozens of professional massages from dozens of people. This woman though was just special. She didn't speak much french, no english - she had such an intense aura, and I can safely say she was blessed with healing hands. Not everyone has that touch, in fact she's the first person I've ever met to have that gift. It was easy to know since she even wasn't touching me and I could feel our energies vibrate and the pains in my back twinge. The baby again didn't move one bit while he was being massaged - and I began to realize that he moves with Mike and I, but with others seems to quiet down. So yes, he may bounce around, but as soon as there are others he settles down. Who knows, maybe shy? I'm realizing he's developing a progressively more independant personality as the weeks go by.

What, I'm 9 months pregnant? Yes, a little calculation does show that really women are pregnant for 9 full months (sometimes starting 10 months) and yesterday I started my 9th month!

Baby update - he's moving still, sometimes quite painfully as he's got me doubled over holding parts of his body away from major organs. He's got his head down now (as I run to the bathroom every 15 minutes) and when I get contractions my back just wants to crack. I also get pain radiating down my lower back and legs. There is so much pressure down below as his head settles (I assume it's got to be that), and it's really uncomfortable that I sometimes can't talk or walk. My butt goes numb, so do my legs and where I thought he was low before...uhm... well... this may be too much info (and thankfully only ladies read this) put it this way, he pushes way below my bikini line (and I have a low line to start with) Is that normal? Who knows, but my pelvis just wants to burst sometimes! If this goes on for another 4-5 weeks I will be very grumpy at the end. If he goes lower with the pushing he'll pop right out! I think the frustrating part is that he goes so low, pushes so hard, I get these uncomfortable contractions and I'm unable to move as he's numbed my nerves in my legs for like 2 hours, then he stops, gets settled some other way. It's like he's testing and saying 'nah, not yet'. I wouldn't mind if it happened all in one shot, not this prolonged thing. My appointment on Wednesday should be interesting, the last on with this doctor. I've also read that some women are 3 cm dialated and completely effaced for WEEKS for the kid comes out. Add the wonderful HOT summer we've had so far, this may make me really crabby. I will apologize now if I don't end up socialize much in the coming weeks, I will try my best, but really it's a day by day thing. I hope it's not too hot and I feel fine for saturday as I would love to be at Arin's shower, but as I advised Pasley, I just have to see.

Yesterday Mike installed the roman shades in the baby room. They look wonderful!! They cut out enough light, and dress up the room nicely! They were also quite simple to install according to Mike. Today I should be getting a phone call saying the dresser is in and ready to be picked up and put together! Yay!I just hope there isn't another delay.

Granted the bedroom was at 29C by 8am this morning and thus it was not too cozy, but I considered it a kick in the rear to get up and tackle the stores. First let's just clarify if in case no one knew - it's bloody hot out there...and not just hot - STICKY! Something like 41C humidex.

The kids being used to a pool and A/C weren't too good this morning and already whiny by 9am, fair enough, so was I! So off we went to Walmart, bought them sandals and bathing suits. Then the real purchase and reason for the outing was at Canadian Tire - a pool! The best 30$ I've spent. No blowing or pumping and even storable in a tiny box! Open the box, pull out the pack, open it, fill it and VOILA! A pool that's 5 feet in diameter and when filled can reach my belly button!!! Large enough to accomodate a family of 5 eventually and a dog. Yes we'd look silly squished, but in desperate times, it would do! Got home, made lunch (the kids did not seem to understand the meaning of it's too hot to turn on any appliance as the requests for stove stuff kept coming - they got sandwiches. They are going to learn my schedule (like lunch isn't at noon, 1pm or 2pm perhaps) and I don't get all fancy for lunch, ESPECIALLY when it's 32C in my kitchen.

So we ate, while watching our neighbours in their big pool, then I took out the little package and within minutes everyone, dog included was wading. Speaking of dog, she spent more time in it then the kids! Couldn't get her out as she'd simply leap right in and sit beside us. I knew we had a water dog, but this is ridiculous!

This morning up early again, something ridiculous like 5 something and not able to fall back asleep until it was time to leave for my appointment. Now they are weekly and quite annoying. So I figured this morning would be the same routine, go early, wait over an hour, get my blood pressure checked and leave. So I waddled in, get the regular checks, weight etc...lay on that tiny exam table and took a nap. Oh, I'm very happy to say that..(drum roll please)... I gained NOT ONE SINLGE TINY OUNCE!!! I even kept my shoes on this time!!! She walks in and with a 'good morning' to me says so we've got a "real" exam today. Yikes! That snapped me out of my daze - cripes, let me tell you I can find a million of things I'd rather do than that, Thank You very much.

So all is good with the baby, I'm now home, going to go right back to bed where there is finally after 3 days, a lovely breeze coming in through the window.

So yay to me for not gaining any weight! Even after that large supper with dessert for mom's b-day! I was so stuffed I couldn't even roll over myself! :)

A really cute thing that Mike does EVERY time in the room is he checks the due date wheel, adjusts it for my day, then reads the number of weeks and days I'm at, the weight and the length of the baby that he then checks on the measuring tape. He always looks shocked as he holds out the tape and realizes how long the baby is then he giggles and folds it in two and then nods again approving the size. He pictures the baby literally folded in 2 I think! :)

Baby's got his head down, and not fully engaged yet according to Dr. Twit. He seems to bob like an apple, some days he's *right* there ready for action, then back up he goes. So yes he was up, I told my doctor about the contractions, she didn't seem too worried. She did check if I was dilated and in technical Dr. terms, I'm dilated 'half a finger' and soft. huh?!? I guess that's metric enough for them.

She also reassured me by saying she thinks this baby will be a regular and normal sized baby. *HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF* She estimates somewhere in the 7lbs area - but then again she said she could be off by a few lbs.

As I mentioned before, I just expected the typical checkup, so when I got there and she starts babbling about taking my undies off and some kind of test for Strep, lets just say it's one way to make a woman kind of cranky. Especially as she only tells you what she's doing on a need to know basis, and I apparently didn't need to know much and the only time she told me what was about to happen it was already being done, so really by the time it registered in my brain what the hell was going on it was done. Thanks. I guess it's better that way, otherwise I think I would have panicked a little.

So that is it really, she doesn't know when the baby will come, she's not sure about the weight. I made another appointment with her for after my due date so in case nothing happens, we could figure out when I'll be induced.

For now, I'm just resting since baby can come any time. I'm so glad I got that pool, as the heat doesn't bother me at all, it was the humidity and sitting in the pool feeling refreshed I actually got my head back and was in a very good mood! I love the heat and the way it feels, so I sat there with my hat on, the dog by my side, just baking in the sun all afternoon. This is the vacation I've been waiting for!! :)

Another funny kid story - we were talking about breastfeeding yesterday with the kids. They wanted to know how it worked etc, and James insisted on pictures (what a guy!) :) Anyways in one of the diagrams they were showing parts of the breats, and when I read it to Melyssa, I said "and that's the Milk Ducts". With a long pause, and a look of confusion she asks so innocently "Tally, how can you have ducks in your breast?"

I called Sears - I was very polite and asked if our stroller/car seat was in yet. I was transfered to Receiving and a very nice lady told me that they had some in stock and asked when I ordered mine - April. She said basically I could pick it up anytime. Now I knew that technically my order was to be in July 12. However they told me to call early July. Another lady called and started giving me a hard time that I was taking it 'early' however I told her that it was fully paid for in April, that they have 7 in stock and shouldn't make me wait as the others weren't even promised to others. She said they like to keep a reserve for people who come into the store and want one. Uhmm lady, I paid for mine back in April, I wanted it then, you have it now, I will be by the store to pick it up, thank you. What a twit, they wanted to keep some in case someone wanted to buy one now, worse case scenario they would wait 1 week for the next shipment, I've waited 2 1/2 months - and it's PAID!

So I am going tonight to get our car seat and must say am very happy.

Oh, and apparently the fact that I'm 37 weeks, I'm considered full term! Hurray, I've cooked this kid! The oven is done! If I go into labour now, they won't try stopping it.

I've also lost 2 lbs since last week. But baby is still moving, wiggling, and stretching quite vigourously and regularly. The kicks have slowed down but now it's more jamming body parts where they clearly don't belong! My stomach is clearly no longer the perfect basketball shape but instead shaped like a lopsided baby. From behind you can't tell I'm carrying, but when I turn I eclipse the sun. :) nah...it's not bad, I'm really not as big as I feared I could get! :) And the fact I'm only 3lbs away from my hubby's weight makes me giggle.

And in other good news, I woke up feeling unswollen and even had sexy legs and arms! :) My swelling in my fingers went away! I wonder if the fact I'm eating so much fruit has helped - whatever the case I'm feeling good, sexy and glowing with the nice tan I've been slowly working on! :)

So here it the, the beginning of the end - hopefully.

I was just an achy mess last night, everything hurt, I was SO tired and *could not* lie down in ANY position. Both hips hurt, my back hurt, my legs hurt...I felt I was falling apart, then in another attempt to turn over in bed - I pull out my shoulder. I end up finally half falling asleep, only to wake up at 3am by the bright lightning. Then my mind starts wandering and I get all frustrated at my tight financial situation. Why does having a baby mean we have to try to live on half a salary?? The government isn't fair - the baby isn't even here yet and I'm home making plans on returning to work so try to to stay afloat. Great how we're built, instead of being home for the 'year' they allow us, most women are forced to go back early and miss out to a degree on their babies lives. Some manage great part time work, others are stuck with full time work. So this morning I'm frustrated at the situation since I REALLY did want to stay home to raise my child (as our moms did, as my grand mothers did) but completely unable to see how this is feasible; and disappointed since I don't want to miss my baby's first years and have a stranger raise them; and angry that mothers are forced to make this kind of sacrifice instead of being able to fully enjoy the special time, or even take the time to adjust to it. Mothers in the US sometimes have to go back to work 3 weeks after the baby is born! Thankfully it isn't like this, but honestly now I'm upset and resentful that I had to stop working early since it's been since April that we've had to 'adjust' our budget, and the extra money that I would have saved while working would have atleast brought me to December without too much of a pinch.

I'm going back to the couch.

Eating cherries makes me feel happy.

Especially the very yummy ones my hubby got for us recently.

Almost there.

Baby is good, heart beat is good. Baby is normal & average size. According to the test last week I'll be on precaution antibiotics when I deliver for the baby. The doctor was nice, late but that's okay. I'm more effaced than last week (blah blah - doesn't mean anything really).

The most interesting part came when we waited. I was holding my file so finally had access to all the notes since the beginning - including all my tests and ultrasounds! It was so cool to read 'normal', 'normal' 4 limbs seen, length of femur, biparietal Dev, circumference of this body part and of that body part. etc... Estimated date of delivery based on a bunch of factors and not just my LMP. It has me dated for July 20th (very close to the full moon!) I'm watching the moon very closely since my grandmother since day 1 said that the moon is known to bring about labour in many women.

Not more chatty than that right now, I ate - or should say scoffed down some leftovers and I'm going to sleep.

Good thing was I had a nice afternoon yesterday - I played gamecube for 4 hours in my bare necessities and successfully relaxed - ah!

It's just so tough to think that some women have it so hard, while others so easy...leaves me wondering where I will be. The best thing I know deep down is that I do have a great support system and that should I need help, family and friends are just a phone call away.

Didn't mention in my other post, but I technically lost 5lbs according to the 'new' scale! *giggles*

In my life I've had very special moments where I realize there's gifts or symbols that only I (and Mike as he's in my loop) spiritually understand.

On my wedding day, there was one. And it made me cry and gave me shivers.

Last night, we got another and I had goose bumps up and down my spine all night long.

A lunch time bath is so relaxing!

I may as well enjoy my free time now!

Going to sit outside with my dog for some air and swing for awhile. Can't wait for Harry Potter!!

I had messed up dreams all night long. I also had my FIRST baby nightmare. Woke up freaking out. I dreamt that some guy was trying to get back at Mike and had me and Casey hostage. He had a knife and kept threatening to stab me and the dog. The thing is, I was pregnant and he kept going for my stomach. I woke up and I wanted to kill him, I was SOOOO upset. It got my adrenaline pumping so hard and that maternal protection instinct kicked in - I could have exploded. I do believe that it was the first time that I felt that animal instinct of protecting my baby, add to the fact that he also included Casey, ack! I was FURIOUS and scared at the same time.

Whatever, my dreams ended with the phone ringing (ringer must have been put back on) with mother doing her morning check. So it woke me up, I lay there for 20 minutes thinking about my dreams and finally gave in a got up at 10:45.

I have to send out a grateful THANKS! to Karine who kept me busy on the phone yesterday while I was going through some uncomfortable contractions but mainly pressure. I ended up calling the CLSC who instructed me to just try and relax, put me feet up and drink lots of water. After 90 minutes of pelvic pressure and constant back ache, which I managed to ignore most of it by talking on the phone, the pressure subsided. Ah... then baby started his daily gym routine, which honestly at that point reassured me that he was okay. :)

I'm starting to believe I'll be pregnant until the end of the month and that I'll just end up living with these practice things. I also wonder if labour runs in the family in terms of how it goes. Mom's water never broke for either of us. She had practice contractions for a month and still ended up being induced for both kids. My sister was 10 days late, I was 2 weeks late. I had the cord wrapped around my neck and I keep wondering if the same thing could happen to my baby. And for mom, she was in labour for 36 hours with me and 25 hours with Sylvie. I wonder, could things be similar or will it be different?

I'm losing track of my weeks. I just know that he's prepping to come out. So really if I'm at 38 or 42 weeks, I really couldn't care right now. Just more numbers to give you a false sense of time.

I've spent 3 days with some kind of stomach bug thing. Yuck. Then again doc said it could be early labour. At this point EVERYTHING could be, the only thing I'm missing to allow me to go to the hospital is regular contractions - because God knows I get them...just not in a pretty pattern.

Didn't expect weather like this today or for this week. I was hoping that we'd have the same type as last week, mid 20's - not mid 30's at 8am with humidex. *grumble grumble grumble grumble*

Friday night had a potluck at mom's with church ladies who all felt inclined to share their personal and detailed stories of birth and other women stuff - hence Mike ran away to hide in another room since most of thesem people are older than my grandma.

Saturday we actually double booked parents - did our 'duty' and had them over for afternoon coffee and cake - us Europeans enjoy this routine immensely. My inlaws came for a lovely visit at 1pm until about 2:30, then my parents showed up from 3:30 until about 4:30. Boom, done - should be guilt free about visits for atleast another few weeks!

Sunday went to a very lovely Baptism, it was my first outing to a church in 4 months. Brought water wore very light clothing and sat near the door for some hint of a breeze. :) The service was really nice and intimate and it was great meeting the rest of the family at the reception afterwards. We really had a nice time. Got home just before 2, and crashed. Mike was exhausted and fighting a headache. So we took a nap...for 3 hours. At 5 I woke up, realizing that we must haven needed it. My parents called inviting us for BBQ and AC - and considering our grogginess we gladly accepted. Had a nice supper, Mike and Dad had a cigar to celebrate the baby, and we actually touched upon the godparent topic without too much bitterness, and then the evening ended with another bout of stomach bug.

Now - I should get in the pool to give me my head back.

Made the baby's first appointment - and he's not even here yet. That's just weird. I called my doctor to make the appointment now since they are usually packed. However a few things left me sour. It took me 25 minutes of busy signal to get through. Then hold for 10. Hung up called back to finally get some sort of an answer. Also realizing the fact that it's in Pierrefonds and not as convinient for me anymore. So I made the appointment with my doctor anyways (she's followed me for almost 15 years now). She's not a pediatrician per say but has a bunch of connections. It's really just a regular checkup anyways. But still I'm hesistant.

I wonder if I should go to Tiny Tots where I have my other connections, OR try to find someone closer to home. But then again I don't know anyone who takes new clients and who comes recommended.

Anybody have any suggestions on what I should do?

Does anyone know how the doctor appointments work post birth - I was told the CLSC comes 3 days after you get home, then you see the doctor at the 2 week mark. Is that accurate?

Gonna go research books now for some answers :)

It's quiet on the home front...taking it easy until the big day arrives. Our first family members are coming for their summer visit this weekend. Then I expect to have family members come to town every weekend for the next 4-5 weeks. Thankfully none are staying at our place - but all at my 'rents. It's funny what having a baby will do to a long lost relatives! :)

So here we have the home stretch. You know it's coming to an end when even the doctor just shrugs and really has not much to say to you. After an extremely long wait, got to see her for all of 7 minutes. In that time dialogue was short.

"I don't feel well" - "sounds like something viral"

"I'm swollen" - "indeed you are"

Flip dialogue

"Do you have contractions?" "yup"

"pain or pressure?" "yup"

Then Mike interjects with some humour "she says noone one told her that the baby was going to come out of her rear" The doctor laughs.

My weight is stable (thank goodness) BP stable, then during her 'check' she says "Oh my, the head is right there"

"yup, you're ready to go any time now - dialated nicely, cervix is ready and thinned out" (whatever that implies)

"Those contractions you've been having are sure effective."

Asks me if I lost my plug and I laugh and said I can't even see down there.

There you have it...still no baby.

OH WAIT!!! The absolute best part about today - she sure stroked my ego with this comment "Wow, that's all baby in there!" hehehe - Picture me with a prideful almost smug look on my face! That's right folks, I'm not big, I'm carrying only baby - and some water retention. Even to the point that I had 3 people not believe me today, they all guessed I was between 6 and 7 months pregnant, the secretary included didn't know why I was on weekly visits yet, and when I told her next week should technically be my last one she was shocked and had to verify my file!

Das ist so shone...

Yesterday 2 things:

Happy B-Day to Arin!!! Didn't forget about you, I was just busy drinking it up with my neighbour for her birthday! :) -keep reading-

So that's it, yesterday morning as I sat my butt in my kiddie pool my neighbour came over and invited me for afternoon coffee and cake since it was her birthday! She's so sweet, we are both at home all summer, we see each other everyday, her kids play with our kids, and granted she's older (42) it was still so very thoughtful of inviting me over. So at 3pm after a nap the kids went over to play and I went over to socialize. Now what I wasn't expecting was an afternoon with other women...all of which are German. So from 3pm on all 5 of us rambled on in German, having a really 'German' afternoon. It REALLY got to my heart strings. I know I'm German as much as I have a french Canadian side with traditions, it's not every day that I indulge in German traditions - to be fair, the community isn't very big. All these women just came to Canada within the past 3-4 years and have become friends and try to maintain a German lifestyle. Anyways being there was like bringing me back to something I didn't know I had lost. Weird eh? I explained it to Mike that imagine being Chinese, not knowing China existed then one day realizing that there are people JUST like you! Well the same thing for me, I know I'm German, I know some of the things I do is German, but when you see it elsewhere, it just confirms it. Things down to the kinds of flowers, the German homemade cakes, the way the coffee is taken, even the champagne. When introduced, the ladies all oohed and ahhed at me by asking "wow, you must be from the North, let me guess Hamburg or even part Scandinavian?" When I told them I was born here, they were shocked and said that I looked more German than they do!

So there you have my afternoon 3 hours later, everyone chatting in German, feeling all warm and cozy inside - granted it could have been attributed to the champagne and spending a beautiful summer day the way we would in Germany! :)

As you may (or may not) be aware of, I'm at my parents house. It's AC'ed here and this has proven to be necesserary for me for a couple of days. Don't get me wrong, the heat isn't what did me in (I've always said I could take it very well) it was the darn humidity that got to me. It crept into my bones, my joints and my entire body was just aching - like I had arthritis EVERYWHERE. I stood for it for quite a long time I'm proud to say, I even slept at home Sunday night still in bed when it was so humid outside most windows were condensed. It was 29.6C with 87% humidity in our room - meaning it felt easily over 37C. And that was at it's coolest at night. Still with the fan blowing it seemed to be half bearable. I think it had to do merely with the length of time my body was exposed to these conditions. I was so swollen my joints were aching so severly for most of the weekend that I took Tylenol hoping to get rid of the constant pain. Baby was fine thankfully stretching around and poking me ever so often, so I just figured this was something I had to endure for the rest.

Well Monday morning came crashing in that's what happened. Hormones were kicked in to high gear, I was stuck in bed - couldn't move I was in so much pain and also literally stuck to the sheets I was so hot and humid. I turn to see the thermometer and it was mid 30's with 96% humidity (I always thought it would rain with that much wetness - but NO) I called Mike told him I'd be fine. That lasted all of uhmmm...literally 45 seconds when I just couldn't take it anymore. It had been almost a week of me doing nothing, lying in bed, lying on the couch, always having the fan on, taking many cold showers just trying to stay cool and I WAS FED UP...and in pain.

Took 25 minutes and Mom had left work for her 'rescue' mission (she felt very good about herself) and honestly I didn't put up any fight about leaving. I had managed to sit my butt in a cold tub for 10 minutes, but still wasn't in any shape to take care of anything. She sat me in her car with AC so high, I apparently looked like a tomato and was giving off so much heat that even my dog wouldn't bear to sit on me. We got here, and I installed myself in front of the AC and within 45 minutes I could feel the humidity leaving my body. I could move again.

So that's it. Not much to worry about (even though Mike came dashing home in record speed once again to be with me) I have mentioned he's just the greatest and sweetest thing around. True the baby was quiet yesterday, but he poked me late at night a couple of times to reassure mommy and again this morning. So no worries! :)

I'm in a much better shape today and will be going home tonight. I think the problem was that our house NEVER cooled down at night for 3 days. It will tonight and things will be fine.

Oh on the upside, I got to spend some unexpected quality time with my aunt, uncle and 2 year old cutest cousin Ethan who were in town for a day and dropped by. We saw them last at our wedding so it was nice to catch up. So all in all, I've been saved, spent good family time, have the most wonderful husband in the world, slept with AC, got great baby gifts (a black leather Peg Perago high chair and a play pen) and yes I may be swollen but I can move my joints without too much difficulty and most importantly baby is good! :)

So here is my OFFICIAL request for guestimates.

Honestly not much else to do but sit here and wait and answer the phone by saying "Yes still pregnant".

So my supposed date is the 24th, according to ultrasounds it's the 20th. Whatever the date may be, this baby is done and cooked and the doctor has confirmed that they won't 'allow' me to go over by more than 10 days (what they don't seem to know is that I won't allow that either!!!) :)

So for record keeping sake these are the bets I've received verbally:

19th - Melyssa (taking a number out of her hat)

20th - My Dad (who just knows apparently), James (because his b-day falls on a 20th), Mike (gut feeling), Grandma (her wedding anniversary)

21st - My uncle

22nd - My mom (because her great uncle is born on that day and she says he's the sweetest man)

23rd - OwlDaughter (who probably has her reasons) :)

So PLEASE - take your best guess, include the possible weight for fun.

What you win - well the satisfaction of being RIGHT! You can have the I told you so bragging rights for the rest of your life!! :)

Sunday night July 17th:

Diana the Huntress - moon goddess, mother of wild animals and forests. With two other Roman deities she made up a trinity: Egeria the water nymph (was a goddess of birth & wisdom), her servant and assistant midwife; and Virbius, the woodland god.

Signifies painless childbirth as her mother bore her and her twin brother Apollo painlessly. She is the patron of young women and childbirth.

What an appropriate message to receive at this point! :)

So another visit to the hospital after a nice long sleep in. Slept over 11 hours with only 1 pee break. Ah, woke up feeling better, the room at a comfortable 25C and 60% humidity. I slept like a baby. Had a bowl of cereal that my honey made for me and started dozing back to sleep before realizing we had to head out at noon for my appointment. Got there, went right up, the doctor showed up and saw us on time, she was concerned about the heat and the swelling, I mentioned baby wasn't moving as much, so sent me down for a NST - Non Stress Test. She also mentioned that we'd start talking induction pretty darn soon and also gave me a paper for a fluid ultrasound - to check for the amnio fluid.

So after putting on 2kg of water retention and of baby, still no change in dilation, and bp good I went down for the NST. A really nice lady hooked me up, trying to find the heartbeat finally found it "REALLY LOW - any lower the baby would come out my thigh" I gave a small smile and she said "oh you MUST know so I'll be quiet now." She was such a character, made me laugh the entire time. It was the first time since week 20 that I got to be that close to my baby. I heard the heartbeat for 20 minutes and I think I said it a dozen times to Mike 'how reassuring it is to hear it beat slow then really quickly when he moves'. Ofcourse being the show off that he's proved to be, he became the baby who hardly moved, to the baby who moved 18 times in 20 minutes (when the nurses were just looking for 3 movements). Yes I was a little embarrassed by this, but half of me couldn't care since I atleast got to hear our baby's heart.

So now what?

Wait some more. I had no contractions during the test (ofcourse I had some all morning though). I am scheduled to go in on Monday for another NST and that Ultrasound. Wednesday I have my next appointment with my old doctor at which point we will talk induction. I ofcourse would rather not be induced and take the natural route, but I have NO reason nor patience to wait either! :) So if monday they send me home and everything is ok, then I should be admitted and have this baby before the end of next week, either they keep me on wednesday, or I check in thursday or friday (as they won't admit me on a weekend with less staff).

I must say it's very nice and comforting getting all these phone calls of encouragement from family and friends. The phone didn't stop ringing yesterday at my parents and today still more or people kindly (or sometimes nosily) checking in with me and saying they are thinking of me.

The one type of phone call which may end up being the most frustrating is the ones from people(who shall remain nameless) saying "full moon tonight, bags packed?"

I'm getting skeptical and what will be worse, waking up tomorrow or even the day after, lying in bed, looking out the window, having my brain turn itself on and realize that there are still no signs of the end being near. These people are SO convinced that it will happen that I don't think the thought of baby not coming with the moon even crossed their mind.

Okay...I'm done talking now. In fact I'm just done, come what may. Thank you family members who are so convinced they are right they may as well be doctors.

I love cuddling in my comforter and blankets, last night was just great weather wise! In fact yesterday was pretty darn perfect!

It's official now, we have half a fence! It's 6 foot and black, not at all what we wanted but hey the upside is that we didn't pay a penny for it, it's a few inches on their property, and it's much better than a 4 foot fence! :) This makes me happy, now I don't have to worry about running after my dog in that direction :) She has yet to see it and I gather will almost kill herself by running full speed into it without realizing it's there.

I don't know about the rest of you, but this waiting thing is driving me nuts! I mean its like the night before your birthday - but every night! I lay there unable to sleep and my mind just wandering and excited. Then every morning I wake up, look at my stomach and say "guess you're still cozy in there eh!" It's also abit frustrating to not be doing much during the day. So today, against everyones wishes (especially my hubby's) I'm sitting outside, with a plastic bag and I'm going to weed. I HAVE to keep myself busy and watching TV or movies or reading isn't cutting it anymore. I won't be bending down, I'll be sitting and doing things very slowly, but atleast I'll be doing something (I can even work on my tan!) :) I'm tired of being bored.

Oh Mike also seemed to have set me up a website. It's not at all ready, I simply have a site, and will get to it eventually. I have to remember how to work those things, it's been so long since I did the wedding website!

[ Current Mood | energetic ]

Today rocks! I just found out some news that lifted my spirits to the moon and back! Made me do a happy dance, yell with joy and have a bounce and a skip in my walk!

My grandparents are coming to town!!!! This weekend!!!!!

My grandparents are right up there at the top of my list of people I love! And geez, my entire family knew they were coming but me. They wanted to keep it a surprise AND not tell me out of spite since I don't want to have anyone at the hospital with me but Mike.

SO :) The plan worked, I found out (as I do all surprises) no one has managed to pull a fast one on me yet! And they are all upset.

Me on the other hand, have a grin from ear to ear, and got such an energy boost! I needed one at that! So even if the baby is no show, I atleast see my grandparents. I must say though that if they leave on Sunday, Monday morning might send me crashing. That's neither here or there and we'll just see what happens, BUT for now ...

MY GRANDPARENTS ARE COMING TO TOWN AND I'M THRILLED!!!

...oh and I weeded for 90 minutes, 2 full bags! We have probably another 4 bags to go!

...oh #2 I made myself natural ice tea with raspberry leaves...a full pitcher of it which I intend on downing as soon as it's chilled! :)

Owldaughter's Reply - Raspberry leaves -- good!

How wonderful -- if the baby's born, he'll meet his great-grandparents! And if he isn't, well then, at least you get to spend some quality time with people you love, who won't play those family mind games with you.

I know I really can't wait, I do hope he decides to come since my grandpa has been super sick since x-mas and would love for him to meet his great grand child. Worse case scenario I'll be making the trip to see them as soon as I can, the latest will be labour day since it's his 75th birthday! And like you said, I can spend some grandparent time! :)

About a week ago I told Mike how much I would love to go there and be with them and go to the beach and blueberry picking and go to the cottage. The fact they're coming is such a boost!! I also know them well that if they miss baby this time, they'll find a way back and bring blueberries in August! :)

get ready... adamofeden's Reply

just so you know the last pregnant person who told me she had been weeding the previous day gave birth that night. At 27 weeks....

That evening, in fact at midnight of the 21st (the full moon) my water broke, I do believe that I "nested" that day and well the fact it was 30 some degrees, I weeded, and drank a few gallons of raspberry tea all help contribute I'm sure to the onset of labour. To read about the delivery and my new life with baby go on to read my journal "Mommy Moments" (to which I will get a link to it soon!)