Chantale Turgeon ~ Memoirs of a Mother

Dear baby,

Today at 18 weeks and 4 days old you made your presence felt in the lower right side of my tummy. With a couple of kicks, or elbows (who knows!) but since you’re mine, I trust and believe whole heartedly that it was the strongest kick you’ve done so far – after all, I intuitively know you’ll be a little soccer player like your mommy.

I must say sitting at my desk and feeling you there is just another one of the many steps of growing closer with you. It been a number of weeks now that even if I can’t feel you, I rub and tap my tummy, it’s reassuring for me, and all the books say you feel a difference too. So yes, I’m already cradling you.

This pregnancy thing is an interesting and fascinating process. I think God made the process 9 months so that we plenty of time to adapt physically, emotionally and spiritually to you. As the days go by, I don’t exaggerate when I say that my love grows for you every single minute. As of 3 days ago, I began to honestly be excited at meeting you, holding you, cradling you in my arms, singing to you, rocking you, even feeding you. Whereas before I wasn’t able to visualize it as of a few days ago, now I even dream of it at night. I see you as a really calm baby, a happy baby. I am understanding this feeling of unconditional love, it is different than the love that I feel for Mike or for my puppy, it’s starting to feel quite special.

Next week I get to see how much you’ve grown and developed since January. This is so exciting, it was a nice reality just having you flutter around in my stomach for the last 2 weeks, and today to get a noticeable kick and I’m truly wondering how it’ll feel in a few weeks to have you moving around all the time and me feeling it! How strange to get used to a wiggly baby in your tummy as you go on living your daily routine.

I’m sure that as I continue to wake up every morning not knowing what I will learn or experience today that everything will continue to be as wonderful as the first 18 weeks has been, minus a few hip displacements, but I still love you regardless!

Dear Baby Boy,

I’m almost at the official half way mark of this pregnancy and I feel wonderful, I probably feel better pregnant than I ever did before! Before my life was one of a typical 20 something, sleeping eating and going to school. Yes you’ll get to realize that’s the order I do things, and sometimes between the eating and school part, I squished in sleep again. Sleep is very important to me, and everyone has asked since I’ve become pregnant if I’m more tired and sleep more often. The one thing I don’t think they realize is I always sleep, there have been many a day where I hit 16-18 hours, usually 12 straight, then a 3-4 hour nap. I don’t consider it something that I have to do, it’s more of a pass time, and I get a tremendous amount of pleasure from it. So no, I haven’t felt more tired with you hanging around in my belly, I just get so much joy and a serious giggle fit when you decide it’s kicking time. In London they have Tea Time, in Canada it’s a coffee break, for you it’s kicking time! It doesn’t bother me and get me all jumpy like it did at first, I just wasn’t sure how to react, and honestly a good kick out of the blue would startle anyone! Now though you wind up your little leg and let one go to get yourself comfortable, and all your mommy does is look down and giggle. It’s nice that you wake up at 8am on the train, give a few wiggles and pokes. I’m sure the people sitting around me think I’m nuts when I sit there calmly then all of a sudden look down, rub my tummy and say, “oh hello there, good morning to you sweetie. You continue to move for a few minutes as I usually eat the half bagel your daddy makes for me every single morning. Your daddy is the sweetest, most intelligent and caring guy in the world, and I’m thrilled to now know that he’s going to be your role model and the one who you’ll look to for guidance on ‘guy stuff’. I tear up just thinking that one day, you’ll find the woman of your dreams (not until your at least 25 though, and have a good job) and treat her with the same love, compassion and care that you saw your dad treat me. But before you get there, you have to learn your manners, to be a gentleman, learn how to dress (women like a man with style and class) your daddy, uncle Fransisco and grandfather with teach you the fine art of appreciating wine, cigars and port, and every man, especially my son needs to play soccer and play with respect.

Speaking of your grandfather, you must know something now, he’s not a very expressive man, you’ll learn that my side of the family is more about sharing a good wrestle or punch instead of hugging. When he found out you were coming into this world he patted me on the head like a good girl. I totally forgive him since the news is something that shifted his world completely. He’s starting to be more affectionate, but by far gives more kisses to the dogs than he does to myself and your aunt Sylvie. But little guy, the look on his face when I confirmed with him that you were a boy, well that’s a look that burnt itself in my memory. For a big 6 foot, 220lbs manly man like my dad who loves hunting, fishing and a good hockey game, he was as giddy as a school girl! So I warn you now, he will drag you hunting and fishing and anything he wants to do. You will be forced to watch the game with him on TV, (but take my advice, it’s always worth it, since in the 2nd period grandma will take out the regular chips!). But don’t get me wrong, as your mother just because you are a boy won’t exempt you from doing dishes or cleaning up (just ask your big brother James!).

So yes, this week I was warned that there was a possibility that you were to be a big baby, I’ll have to wait and see won’t I, but I wouldn’t be surprised with all the giants I have in my family. All of my uncles and your great uncles are ALL over 6 feet. If you turn out any smaller, they will not skip the chance to poke fun at you! But before you get there, I look forward to cradling you and snuggling into your tummy, eating your baby feet and dreaming together while you sleep on my tummy when I’m partaking in my favorite pass-time.

Love always,

Your giggling Mommy

Hi Baby Boy,

I don't know what your up to most of the time, mainly sleeping, kicking, poking, stretching, listening and sucking your thumb I gather. I do suspect that yesterday you may have had the hiccups at one point - did I feed you too many muffins?

I do know that your Mommy is feeling her first fake/practice contractions. S'funny that a woman instinctively knows what that pain/pressure is. Not so funny when Daddy wanted to feel last night and with good intentions thought he'd help by squeezing my already rock hard uterus. Mommy almost plowed your Daddy in the head.

That's all I have to write to you today pumpkin, oh, I meant to apologize for Casey who now loves to lie and jump on my rounded tummy (which has popped out nice and round) - so sorry for the bumps I'm sure you feel. Oh and when your born, those 2 bath towels with hoods that you've gotten from grandma(the kermit and ducky ones) have been tried and tested by your puppy who thought they were quite comfortable to nap on.

Dear Kyle Ethan,

One month ago today I was in labour, in fact your journey into this world began late at night in fact about an hour after we fell asleep. I had spent the day 'nesting' however this didn't mean anything to me since I had spent the last month of my pregnancy cleaning and preparing for your arrival. On that day however there were a few differences, the first being that I found out my grandparents were coming to town the next day. This bit of news thrilled me, I was so delighted with it that it kicked started my urge to clean up the yard by weeding. This may have been much being so close to my due date, however my grandmother once told me that one definite way to induce labour was to do your garden. So taking this wisdom to heart, I headed outside in 30 some degree heat and weeded for almost 2 hours. I then decided to quench my thirst with another piece of wisdom, raspberry tea. This apparently was the surefire way to have your baby so I finished off a gallon of homemade iced raspberry tea. One last thing that was different was my fixation upon the moon. I had spent every night that week watching it wax, and on the 21st the eve of the full moon I stood in your room and just knew that it was 'your' moon. After all, your room was decorated with moons and stars, so I figured that it would only be appropriate for my moon baby to be born on the full moon! I went to bed late that night exhausted from my day and being really pregnant and next thing your Dad and I knew, we were on our way to the hospital at 2am.

By 9:38pm you were born and I was holding your hot little 7lbs 14oz body against my own and just staring into each others eyes. You were probably wondering who I was and what the heck was going on, one minute your floating about all calm and warm in the dark and the next thing your out in the open, exposed and being touched and manipulated by all these different people! I on the other hand can't even to begin to express what thoughts flew across my mind. It was mostly awe. Here you were after 9 months of growing and kicking me from the inside finally lying on my chest. It was unbelievable and there are simply no words available to describe the experience.

Here we are exactly one month after that initial meeting and you are simply the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. In fact you are tied with your Dad for that position! I can honestly say sweetheart that it has not been hard. I've had jobs more challenging than this. This is so natural, and following my motherly instinct is really second nature. Sure son, you give us some moments, mostly having to do with projectile poop and especially your fireman routine that we have yet to master at every diaper change. The amounts of times you've peed on your dad and I far exceed the amount of diapers you've worn thus far. I must also make mention that you've done quite a number on your grandfather. He has the worst luck in terms of being dirtied by you; he's starting to think we sabotage the diapers before he comes!

Since I haven't specified, I intend to write to you as often as I can so that you can keep them as memories. I am unsure when to give these to you, but I assume the day will come and I will just know that the time is right.

Let me start off by saying how handsome you are. No, I'm not simply saying this as your biased mother, I am simply passing the message that so many people have complimented you on your looks. You are just gorgeous. You have the longest and most beautiful eyelashes just like your father and I, your eyes are a dark crystal clear blue that just sparkle, and have lightened to a light blue about 2 weeks ago. Your hair remains a mystery to everyone. We can't give it a colour, it's not blond nor is it brown, but it has a tinge of auburn, but golden blond highlights and sometimes some red undertones. Sorry to say it's like mine, your is straight with the exception of a rosette on your front right bang, it just does a curl. You have your dad's ears and it seems to be all. The rest son is all your mom, you look almost identical to me as a baby, maybe it'll change as you grow, but for now, you are surely your mother's son. I sure hope this means you act like your father as he's the most wonderful man in the world and you are the most fortunate in having him as your role model for what a man should be.

Speaking of personality I must confess that I count my blessings many times a day since you really aren't a difficult baby. Since the hospital you've been doing 2-3 hour stretches of sleeping and eating. Maybe there was one night when you woke up every 90 minutes to feed and while it may have been temporarily tiring, it's not as bad as pulling 2-3 all nighters for university. J Granted there are times like the past 2 days that all you wanted is to be held where it gets tiring as you don't even let me go to the bathroom alone. But I just keep in mind that a month ago you were attached to me, you were a part of me so the least I could do to help you transition into your own little man is hold you and comfort you. It wasn't easy for me either to have you out of me, in fact it was quite a shock to my system that I broke down crying about 2 days after you were born since I felt so alone myself. You were upstairs and I went down to the kitchen to realize that for the first time in 9 months I was truly alone and it hurt so bad Kyle that I didn't know what I would do without you. This is the reason why I could not bring myself to letting you sleep in your crib the first night home. It was impossible for me to not be within 2 feet of you and I had to be able to see you at all times. No this is not a freakish mother thing, you will one day understand to a degree, and keep it in mind for your wife who will hopefully feel the same animalistic instinct as I to protect and be with her babies.

For your 1 month birthday your Dad gave you your first bottle. It wasn't big, only 1oz to test, but for me it seemed like the biggest event. No the world didn't shatter, and the sky didn't fall, and no one beside us knew what was happening, but my heart tore a little as you sucked that bottle as fiercely as you do with me. Feeding you no matter how tired I may be is always something I cherish. I love watching you , massaging you and kissing you. I love singing to you and having you look up at me. I giggle when you fall asleep at the breast (which you do very often I may add) and you start to dream and giggle. I love your smirks or when you simply aren't hungry anymore but just stay there and give me the cutest little side-glance to see if I realized that you were just playing and not eating anymore.

I can't believe how much you've grown since birth and that you are wearing mostly all 6 month old stuff. That you've outgrown newborn diapers within 1 week and a half, and you are soon to be out of size 1. You're growing and developing quickly that you are really strong. Your neck doesn't bobble anymore, you hold fingers so tight that they go numb (ask James and Melyssa), you can easily stand up with your powerful legs. In fact since the week you were born the question I got most often was, "how many months old is he" and I would reply '2 weeks". Then again we are made strong in our family, I was out of the hospital quickly, the pain of it all wasn't that bad that I was walking around, going out, taking walks all within a week or 2. I was shopping at 2 weeks, and you followed. On August 8th (you were 3 weeks) your Dad and I went to Chez Cora's with you for your first restaurant outing. This past weekend, you came to church with us and slept right through! The weekend to come you are getting baptized, it happens to coincide with our wedding anniversary.

So my sweetie, this was a very quick summary of your first month with us. There was so much more I would have liked to have tracked but it will have to wait for further months as you continue to grow into the little man of my life.

Loving you always and covering you with kisses,

Mommy

Dear Kyle Ethan,

Your are exactly 2months, in fact it's 9:45pm to be precise and you are sleeping peacefully in your starry crib wearing your 9 month size pjs. You are so big it's hard to picture you as a wrinkled newborn. In fact to be precise as of yesterday you weighed 13lbs 10oz. The first 6 weeks of your life you gained a pound a week and now you seemed to have slowed to a half pound per week. That still puts you in the 97th percentile range for baby boys you know. Like I mentioned you wear size 9 months tops and onesies, size 2 diapers, but size 3-6 month pants. You continually impress us with the things you do, and probably you are developing just like every other baby but when you started smiling this month and giving us big gummy grins or when you one day started making the cutest sounds that could almost sound like 'hi' or 'Kyle' with many aaah, oos, and everything in between some gaohs, ayoh, or just ay; you make our hearts melt and fill us with pride that you are indeed a human baby that will one day grow up happy, healthy and to be your own person. I must say that you are a great baby, take it from me and from everyone who knows you. You've been doing your nights since about a month ago. It seems that for every week you gained a pound you also gained an extra sleeping hour which has thankfully been at night. You fall asleep anywhere 8pm and 10pm, sometimes a little later but on average 9pm is your time after your last snack, and then go until 5:30am to 7:30am and that's usually for your diaper and breakfast. After that you continue to bless mommy with sleep until 9:30 or like this morning 11:30. Now who says you can't sleep with a baby! J The trick son is to sleep when you do. Sure I don't get up and have a full adult productive day; but I guarantee you that sleeping in this pattern gives me the energy to clean up the house and do things like update your website, write you letters, or go out to the theatre or the store like everyone else. In fact I haven't felt tied down or stuck or even depressed with you as some mothers do. It may be weird but I enjoy changing your diapers. I see mothers who tell their babies they stink and get upset at it, and it bothers me since you obviously have no control over your bodily functions. I laugh when they get irritated when they get peed on or when they put on a clean diaper, which then gets dirtied 2 seconds later. I just look at you, eat your tummy and laugh. I must state that you HATE being dirty, in fact you still do the yelling at us thing when you're uncomfortable but go on to smile and giggle when we open your diaper and the stench hits your nose! You're a person who knows what you want, and demands to have it NOW, there is very little patience with you. In fact your not a baby who could be bottle-fed as you would not have the patience to wait for it to heat up. Speaking of which you don't like bottles, we've tried a few, and there is only 1 kind that you take to and have learned to drink from. It took a couple of weeks but now you seem to have the hang of them and downright refuse any other type. And forget me giving you a bottle, you just turn away from the thing and pluck your lips onto my shirt or my bra and try sucking the milk through it, thus the job of bottle-feeding is relegated to your father.

Today as your 2 months meant you needed your shots. Now your mother hates needles and I must say I was really good in the room, I did look away somewhat as I was getting weak in the knees. Thankfully your wonderful Dad was there holding you as you got both shots in either of you thighs. You won't remember this day thankfully and I wonder if the reason they do it so brutally is because babies don't remember it. Hell why the yummy chunky thighs? Anyways it's part of being a damn human and living on this dirty infectious planet and all I could do as you wailed with insult and shock is hold you tight to me and try not to shed a tear that you had to undergo that. It makes me wish that we could live isolated from everyone and everything and just live happily ever after. It's funny that I get the same feeling of resentment when I take Casey for her shots and hate the people who seem so insensitive. Cripes, the nurse didn't seem to have a motherly bone in her body, after she ripped you with the needle all she could do was shake a damn toy in front of your face thinking your stupid enough to forget what just happened. Twit. It took me a good 5 minutes to calm you down from yelling and bawling. That's another thing, the other babies there who got the needles yelled then their parent plucked a soother in their mouth which shut them up, you my dear don't really like that sucker thing, you act very snobbish when we try to give it to you. You get this "I'm to good for this, and why would I suck a rubber thing to pass my time" look on your face. Here we thought you were fine without anything until exactly a week ago when you found your thumb. You knew that a fist occasionally found it's say to your mouth (I don't think you've realized it's yours yet) but then you got control of your thumb which you seem to find very yummy to suck and drool on. Now we have to try to keep an eye on Casey who also likes the taste of your hands to make sure your not sharing too much! J

As for milestones this month there were many, I of course didn't write them down. We've finally got a handle on your diaper rash, only now to be plagued with cradle cap, or extremely dry skin. Keep this in mind you have EXTREMELY sensitive skin. No diaper wipes for you, no creams for you, only water. Even soap irritates you. What cured your bum was a combination of DRY and petroleum jelly. Heck during the extremely humid days of summer the only way to successfully dry you was with a hair dryer. Imagine what you looked like your bum in the air with a hair dryer pointed at it. J And yes you liked it, in fact you just like being naked! Another thing is your sight is getting more focused and you can now follow people and things. It's neat and somewhat unbelievable that you are slowly becoming more agile and more into a little guy with every passing day. I guess I never took the time to think of who are are going to become or imagine a little boy as my own and when I see grown sons with their mothers it brings tears to my eyes that you will one day be grown up and my young man. It's crazy to think that some people go their entire lives without finding love and here I am with 2 unbelievable men whom I love so much it hurts. What is so special about the love is that it's pure and unconditional. I no longer live my days focused on myself but instead for my family and have discovered that I will do absolutely anything for either you or your father. Whether it be give your father extra sleep or letting him get the extra cuddles and giggles when he's home from work, or sing you Christmas songs in August (without anyone around or in a whisper as they would have my head since it's one of my personal pet peeves) just because you like it (and because I can't think of any other songs) or clean the dog's head with a laugh after one of your fireman stunts.

Son, I love you more than I did one month ago and I believe that with each passing day my love for you will continue to grow stronger and that our life as family will continue to be filled with many laughs and happy moments.

Loving you always,

Your Mommy

Dear Kyle Ethan,

I love being your Mommy. It's the most amazing experience I've ever had. You have changed so much from the newborn we brought home 3 months ago. You are gentle, sensitive, always in a good mood, smiling and giggling, giving us your gorgeous looks with your beautiful eyes and best of all easy going. You'll sit on anybody's lap, accept kisses and hugs from total strangers, and really don't seem to mind if I'm not around. This is good for Mommy, as I sometimes need to go out without you. I don't want you having separation problems later on, as it's important for you to be with others. I also think it's important that you are alone sometimes in the day - alone time in your crib is important for your development, and I really use the break to sleep! J Speaking of sleep, your just awesome with your nights, sure there was 2 weeks ago when you went through the growth spurt of doom when I almost gave up nursing you as it was so demanding, that kind of disrupted your schedule and you kept waking up at 4 or 5am. Now that has been pushed back to 7 or 8am. Then again your bed time fluctuates so much too, you have fallen asleep anywhere from 8:15 to 11:15. In addition to that it's your napping, or lack of it. You can sleep 2-3 naps of 15-45 minutes each, like yesterday when you fell asleep in your chair in front of the fire with the football game on TV, or 1 nap of 2-3 hours like you're doing now! J Then there are times when you don't nap whatsoever and you are the death of us in the evening when you whine yourself to sleep!

Accomplishments for this past month are many! You grab your own hands, pull your own fingers when you are busy doing your business – it's hilarious! You grab at many different objects, like the poster on your wall, the dog's ears, my hair, your dad's chest hair, the toys on your mat. You can even hold the rings on your mat and pull it back and forth like you were doing weights! It's been weeks now that we pull you up to a sitting position and you hold your head nice and steady, it doesn't go backwards anymore. You sit up nice and straight with us only holding your arms or hands for balance, I imagine that once your center of gravity is found you'll be own your own! You just continue to amaze us! Like the fact that when you're sitting, you pull yourself forward – even when reclined, you pull! You're going to be great a sit-ups later on (like Mommy – not to brag!). This means that when you sit in your chair, your swing or high chair (which you started sitting in last week), that we have to tie you in properly if we don't want to pick you up off the floor! Yesterday you even surpassed everything by pushing yourself up on your elbows and having your head and neck completely off the ground! You did this so proudly in front of myself, Daddy and your grandparents and we just stood there amazed at you!

More things about you this month, your eyes are still blue, lighter than birth, but still a beautiful blue eyed baby! Your hair is golden and shines in the sunlight. You still have the more beautiful and LONG eyelashes! There are adults who pay to have those! The downfall of 3 months old is that your hair, along with Mommy's is falling out. So you are patchy bald on the sides, and I'm losing chunks of hair. It's funny how my hormones affect you, in addition to that if I get a pimple or 2, so do you! It's neat and crazy all together.

You Sir are also a Drool Machine. Yes, you drool. It's not even drool as much as your faucet is on. You completely soak shirts, your pants and bibs right through. You chew on anything you can stick in your mouth; fingers and Mommy included (which doesn't go over well with me). The worst part is that you got your first cold, stuffy, runny nose, coughing and sneezing on top of all that drooling! It's so sad as there is nothing to do about it but wait it out. We've been making sure it doesn't get worse, it just seems to last forever.

Ever since your shots your cry is so loud, you had me wearing ear plugs as you were screeching and wanted nothing to do with anything. You've pulled those high pitched yelling stunts a handful of times thus far, mostly when your grandparents are over. There really isn't much we can do when you get started, just try to hold you and love you as much as we can.

Again I must say how wonderful it is to be a mother, your mother most of all as you really are an easy baby. I love it when we can go through whole days without a cry, I love it more when I can have you laugh and smile at the world as you discover it. It was about a week ago when you started enjoying Casey. As you sit in my lap and I throw the ball to your puppy you laugh at her when she darts back and forth and comes within hairs of licking you. It's also hilarious when she now puts her big wet black nose close to your face and you now grab her ears. The other day you had her pinned on the ground with a fist full of puppy ears.

So this letter may be fragmented and I apologize. The important part isn't how it flows, it's just as long as I get as many memories of you down so that I can always remember and appreciate the wonderful life that we share. I love you Kyle Ethan, you are more amazing than I ever imagined! I am so blessed to have you as my son.

Loving you always, forever and more as each day passes,

Your Mommy

Dear Kyle Ethan,

Yesterday you discovered your tongue. You've been finger chewing and thumb sucking for a couple of weeks now, but yesterday you had a look of shock and intrigue when you realized that soft wet wiggly thing in your mouth that you quite can't catch and hold onto. Son, I don't mind the countless hours you spend playing with it and the many more bibs you soak right through, but I don't think it's kosher to let Casey lick your hands in between.

I love you anyways,

Your Mommy

Dear Kyle Ethan,

Here I am taking a deep breath trying to have in sink in that today you are 4 months old. It really is impossible for me to accept as it feels like you've always been here. Then again I look at you and the speed in which you grow just never ceases to amaze me. This month your development was just phenomenal. Around a week ago you learned how to turn over from your tummy to your back and had much fun doing it over and over again! You seemed to like the freedom of not being stuck on your stomach. This just means I need to roll you over more to ensure you get enough tummy time. You can also sit pretty much on you own when your on our laps and hardly wobble over. This is an added freedom for not only you, but for us as well as you must be over 16lbs now as you are really heavy to hold for long periods of time. An update to that last sentence I know you've hit 16lbs 13oz with clothes on so I gather you're a bit more than 16 and a half pounds. I'm glad that you're thriving and healthy with my breast milk and that it is going so well. It's just so easy, convenient and so natural and I know this way you are only getting the absolute best. Since your birth I had 6 months in mind for the time I'd feed you this way, however I don't see why I can't continue until you either wean yourself or I get pregnant again. We'll take it one day at a time and see what you end up doing.

Your desire to stand is still as strong as when you born, you just love kicking and standing up. I do believe that a Jolly Jumper is in our near future, this way you give Mommy's arms a break. Speaking of which you are the best exercise for me, I've lost nearly all my baby weight, just have a couple of pounds (literally) left for the sake of breast feeding. In fact my stomach is almost as flat as before, my pre-pregnancy pants fit and my arms just awesomely toned thanks to lifting you! I've always been in decent shape and getting back this way is great for my morale, especially in this little time. It's also great is my increased desire to continue working out to keep up with you as you become more mobile. This has to be one of the benefits I that foresaw for having you at a young age, I'd have so much energy to run after you and look great doing so!

You learned to do this funny thing with your upper lip, you suck on it and make the funniest faces and noise! So instead of feeding you suck on your own lip and get a screwy face then giggle because I imagine it tickles! Speaking of which, you laugh quite a bit now, probably twice to three times a day.

We brought you for your vaccines and this time was much better. Not only did you not wail like last time, you were much easier to comfort. Sure you shed a few tears, I would too, but you were such a brave little guy, teary eyed and smiling as you were sucking on Spunky the blue dog. The nurse thought you were immensely cute with your dog, 'il aime bien son chien ce beau garcon' she kept repeating!

In other news, your siblings are just in love with you, Melyssa has changed your diaper a number of times, they have both dressed you and held you. You haven't kept them up all night with crying as you continue to do your nights pretty well, so don't let them complain when you're older that you bothered them! It's also getting easier when you sit on their laps because we don't have to worry about your head wobbling. We did have to explain to them however that they couldn't pat you on the head because of your soft spot.

Now as for looks son, well you're a handsome bruiser that's for sure! Extremely wide shoulders (soon we have to change the car seat because you no longer fit comfortably) a long sturdy body, strong legs and arms, your hands and feet are growing, in fact your toes are squished in the size 6mth bear slippers you wear. Your hair is growing in nicely and that mohawk look you had isn't so apparent anymore. I still have a hard time pinpointing the colour since it varies. In the sun it's definitely golden blond, sometimes you have a tinge of red that shows, and other times it looks light mousy brown. Don't know, can't explain it, it's like mine. Your eyes are still a striking beautiful light blue, which makes any picture taking impossible because you always get red-eyes; even with the red-eye flash! You don't have any teeth yet despite all that drooling, what you did get this month was extremely red cheeks. Now if that was a side effect of teething, or your dry skin, or of giving you solids at 3 ½ months I don't know. It was really bad and irritated you as you scratched yourself. Even with your nails clipped, this past month you sported a constant scratch on your nose or cheeks, you looked like such a tough guy. It's been better for a couple of days, it flares up with rice cereal we realized, and so do your patches of eczema. I don't know if the weather is causing it because my skin is the same way, so I don't know if I can blame the food. Right now you are on the occasional solid food meal consisting of either rice cereal or oatmeal with breast milk to keep it best. I may try changing types of rice cereal to see if it's any better, but for now we are taking it slow. On Monday at your doctor's appointment she'll give me her opinion on what I should do. I do know myself, I'm confident enough in my mothering skills that I'll do what I think is best for you. Put it this way, you are getting a Christmas meal with sweet potatoes, some veggies and fruits! That's another thing that I'm preparing for you is food, fresh is best and you can't beat Mommy & Daddy made!

December 10th, 2005 ~ 5 months old

Son, this is a mid month addition to the letter and the main reason is because of a tooth. It's a milestone, one that will go in all your baby books and should be written about. Considering how hard the past 2 weeks have been (literally since I began writing this letter). Your cheeks and eczema were worse than ever, it had spread to your body and it made you miserable. I hardly knew what to do as you wailed in my arms besides love you. Loving you was the only thing I could do and it wasn't making anything better, it was so heart wrenching. After a couple of days of this constant crying and crankiness, as I was feeding you breakfast and snuggling in bed with you I noticed a sharp point on your gum. Sure enough you pierced a tooth, your bottom right one. Looking back now, not only were you itchy but your gums must have been swollen and your chin was so chapped it was bleeding. Since Saturday your mood is a million times better and that little tooth is coming in slowly but surely. You spend loads of time 'talking', blowing bubbles and you love playing with your books and toys but most of all, Casey. You also never stay still anymore when on the ground, I find you constantly a few feet away from where I put you down. You are also very close to rolling over from your back to your stomach, as you hold your feet and roll your hips over.

Alright, enough updates

Loving you always,

Your Mommy

Happy 1/2 birthday to Kyle Ethan! My little boy is 6 months old today. He's the most wonderful and adorable thing in the world. Sure there are things that aren't as they should be, like I'm still up once a night at 2:30 to feed him, he doesn't roll over anymore (he can, we work on it every day) he just doesn't see the need to do it, and he doesn't take a bottle. Those are really the only things that cause somewhat of an argh.

However he does a bunch of other things that I guess compensate for it, like he BF in 20 minutes or less. He falls asleep on his own, he sings and dances with the music I put on, he can jump like a kangaroo for at least 25 minutes in his jolly jumper, he loves being on his tummy in the bath so he can kick and splash around. He's still not a super cuddly baby and I get my loving from him when he falls asleep on me, but on the flip side he's extremely aware and curious. It's been a while that he knows and responds to his names(both Kyle and Ethan), he can entertain himself for a good 30-45 minutes on his own either in his playpen or on his mat.

His teeth are just so adorable, since he's quite the happy baby and usually has a big smile on his face, his teeth just peek through for those toothy grins. :) As for his looks he's got the these intense crystal blue eyes, not hints of any other colour. They have a dark blue rim and go light blue almost white at places. His hair still causes confusion so I named it oak. We've established that it's got the same blond, light brown and rusty shades as oak. He's no longer got bald spots, but this light hair all over that has a tendency to stick up. He's getting bigger every day (probably a reason why rolling over slowed down a bit) he wears 12 and sometimes 18 months clothes, size 3 diapers still, and size 6-12 for pants. Some days I feel like he's a mini Hulk (minus the green) he just seems to burst out of his clothing!

He eats pretty much anything we give him (excluding...commercial baby food). This we discovered this past week. He won't eat store bought fruits or veggies, those little containers are really useless to us, except for storing the ones I make. Imagine the joy on our faces when we discovered this on the road. Anyways his menu includes squash acorn and butternut, sweet potatoes, carrots beans both yellow and green, peas, zucchini, peaches, pears, apples, bananas, and apricots. Barley and rice, not so much the oats yet, but I assume we'll get there soon. As for his routine, it's breakfast, play, nap, lunch, play, nap, supper play and sleep from 7:30pm to 2:30am, then from 2:45am to 7:30am. It's pretty set, God forbid though his morning nap gets messed up, then we have a cranky pants on our hands :)

All and all he's a good boy, looks so grown up already from that little bundle that we took home from the hospital, heck he doubled his birth weight at 4 months so no wonder! His favorite toy seems to be Casey, and vice versa. They play together as much as they can all day long! In fact Casey's routine is wake up and check all the bedrooms to make sure everyone is there, she seems to take attendance, it's quite funny!

Off to swim class now which you enjoy most of the time if the water is warm enough for you!

Loving you more every day,

Mommy

Kyle is 7 months old now and just wonderful. Well sure he's got his moments (don't we all) but overall he's just the cutest little guy! We have bought him a new car seat, it's Cosco Alpha Omega 3-1. We've been pushing it off but the fact his little toes pass the end of his current means we really couldn't wait too much longer. In the store the seat looked so big and I was afraid my son would be lost in such a thing, instead to my surprise Mike put him in is and he sat so well and filled it out nicely. Ack! You know what that means, my mommy vision is all screwed up and my son isn't a baby but is a little boy. Seriously...it's crazy. I'm happy with this purchase since it's good until he's 80lbs and technically a booster seat as well so we won't need to purchase any others. Not for him anyways...

To mark his 7 months his grandparents got him these Brilliant Baby's First Blocks, a heating plate, an outfit with a vest, and an awesome rain suit. I just can't stomach how quickly it all flies by, these outfits are for little boys, in fact when I went shopping the other day I realized that I no longer go to the baby section, but instead to the boy section to pick outfits. Here's another shocker, can't find any onesies...why would hta be, well he's too big and should now be wearing t-shirts. sigh...I'm going to be the sappiest mother.

His teeth are coming in, we are quite aware of this with all the yelling he's been doing. Bad yelling, screaming in pain, it's been hard to deal with and try to calm him down, but we know it's that. Just pierce already! He's had some decent nights too, sleeping much more, excluding last night where he successfully managed to cry enough that we kept him in bed until morning. By 8, he woke up, grabbed my face and happy squealled. Hopefully tonight will be much better, nursing for 90 minutes straight isn't fun...especially at 2 in the morning and then again at 4.

Our friends noticed the other day that his eyes got a much lighter blue, I hadn't realized but it's true, he's got sparkling light blue eyes. His hair is also coming in nicely and I pretty much have to comb it every day and we also started brushing his 2 teeth which he thoroughly enjoys. He goes crazy in his jolly jumper and we might have to stop him from using it anymore as he figured out how to swing side to side and back and forth. Those 2 clamps just aren't strong enough to hold this kid and we are petrified that they will give under his gymnastics.

I don't recall if I mentioned his report card on Sunday at his swimming, it's was such a moment, my son getting a report card for his accomplishments, which were basically how well he lies on his back and that he doesn't spend the entire 30 minutes yelling anymore. :) Probably the fact he's gotten more comfortable with his body and the water is warmer. He can stand on his own and pull himself up to that position, it's so adorable when he's there wiggling his little butt and has the biggest and proudest smile on his face. Ah the things they do that make your heart melt.

Dear Kyle Ethan,

I almost forgot today, more like it only dawned on me midway through the day. I've spent 2 weeks saying "he'll be 8 months in 2 weeks" and I just never realized that the days kept moving forward and didn't adjust my calculations accordingly. The important thing is that I have taken the time to write to you. It's nice that you are old enough to respond to me, so if I were to sit down and read this to you, in some degree you'd understand, or at least listen. If I'm lucky I'd get your typical response of Mama, or you'd just stick your tongue out at me and drool. Such manners! I've kept a pretty decent diary of the things you are interested and do so most of it seems pretty repetitive. The major develpments this month is that you crawl in this 'pull-yourself-with-one-hand-and-tuck-your-other-arm-in-a-football-way' and move quickly across any surface. You clock a few extra km when you don't have socks on. :) You do perfect push ups, get onto your knees and you relentlessly follw (I should say) chase Casey around.

With this new found mobility things like changing your diaper and worse trying to put a pair of pants on you is a tiresome and painstakingly long task. Every time your bottom is free off you go, you roll to one side and try to take off crawling as if it were an Olympic Event. What follows resembles a wrestling match, I grab your little legs and hips, pin you down, and try to roll you over to finish what I'm trying to do. It all gets so much more complicated when this is done on the ground and Casey interferes with me (thinking we are playing) and you actually manage to crawl a few feet away. There goes the naked baby! My son, you keep me on my toes and mornings now have been redefined completely, no more lounging or relaxing, no more snuggling in the warm sheets, God forbid I have a fuzzy brain, because before I know it you're either pulling on the alarm clock cord, or pushing on my stereo system. Forget the basket of toys I put out for you in hopes your attention will be drawn to the things you can play with, you dart right past the basket and set your eyes upon Daddy's pile of comic books.

Another thing worth noting is your appetite. We are very fortunate that you are not a picky eater. In fact you like almost everything we prepare for you. The only things that you crinkle your nose to is different types of cereal. The past month however you've eaten chicken, lamb, beef and veal in the meat category, avocado, cantalope, watermelon, grapes, and really just a bunch of fruits and veggies. This month we are going to give you yogurt, egg yolk, broccoli, cauliflour, porc and just more diverse foods. Like I've said, so far so good, you've liked pretty much everything. The only thing you still can't digest is bananas. Meal time is just getting messier and messier, you always grab (or swat) the spoon that feeds you, sure you get to practice aiming it into your mouth, but most of the time you end up blowing bubbles of food. It's so...nice. You also have to have your fingers in the bowl. In fact we cannot put anything into your mouth until you've touched it, you've made that quite clear to us. Anyways as a result bath time is much more frequent, which is fine by you as you jump to get into the tub. All you have to hear is the water running and you get all excited. This past month you've discovered cause and effect quite nicely, especially in terms of splashing. You also try to make bubbles but still end up inhaling these huge quantities of water. Something else to note, you are fearless. This frightens me as well as makes me proud. You have no qualms about throwing yourself around, you crawl and tumble over our legs, you stand and let yourself drop almost expecting us to catch you everytime. You have this innate trust that nothing will go wrong in your world and this both makes me proud that we have provided this environment for you, as well as terrifies me that we won't always be around to catch you or protect you. Child raising is such a daunting task. We've managed to baby proof our living room for you, the rest of the house still needs work for me to feel reassured.

Physically you're growing, you've outstretched all your PJs again, the ones with toes are broken through, the ones without are only shorts now! We have gone shopping and now only buy 18 months, 2 year and I even have a couple of 3T things in your closet. 12 months stuff is slowly being put in your bin. Your hair is also much longer, in fact you have these bangs that get into your eyes, but I'm refusing to cut it until the rest comes in. You have these striking crystal blue eyes that everyone looses themselves in. You are also a very serious baby, who doesn't crack smiles very often, however once you warm up to someone it's only then you'll grace them with your smile and have your eyes sparkle. This serious disposition leads many to believe that you are grumpy, but they are mistaken as you are simply just learning and taking everything around you in. I also love the way you've learned to cuddle with us, the best times are right when you wake up from a nap, or right before bed. It's a small gesture that both your father and I have grown to love. You still remain uber independant but will allow us our Kyle time. Thank you.

One last thing that we should mention is that you've outjumped your Jolly Jumper. You are wilder than a rodeo cowboy when we strap you into it, and thus there is much for us to worry about. So you may not have hit the 25lbs point yet, but this past month you graduated out of your jumper, your swing and your car seat. What left you might ask? Well your grandparents bought you an excersaucer thing that you entertain yourself in for short periods of time (longer if we pop in a DVD for you) while we try to eat supper without inhaling our food. You also have your rocking chair that you sit in to keep us company.

Here's to you and another month of your wonderful life.

Loving you always,

Your Mommy

Dear Kyle Ethan,

I love that you sleep with your toes in the air. You bring your knees to you chest like when you were in the womb and will sleep hours in that position. I guess that you find comfort even if it's the cutest thing that your toes are in the air. In fact you love that position that you will often play with toys or books with your feet. No wonder we call you a little monkey, they are your second pair of hands!

I love that when I catch you doing something that I've repeatedly said No to, there's a split second until you give me this smile, a smile that you think is just so charming that I will allow you to continue to do what you shouldn't be doing. Then if I am to take 1 step towards you to remove you from the scene of the crime you start furiously crawling away from me. That's right, you little squirt you run away from me!! I love that even though you do the things I've said No to, I can tell you know exactly what you are doing and that you shouldn't be doing it. I love that look you get like you've gotten your hand stuck in the cookie jar. What's scary is that you are only 8 months old. I love that you have that intelligent sparkle in your eye, and I love that you are fiercely determined. You know what you want and you will do anything to get it. This is probably why you crawled so early. All we had to do was put a remote or a dog toy in front of you and you took off.

I love it when we have breakfast that you look at me eating my toast and you say "Mmm Mmmm Mmmm" and smack your lips. I also know that our morning phone call to Daddy and to Grandma is something you love. It's adorable that you love to listen to them talk to you on the phone. I love that you actually talk back to them and occasionally look into the phone to see if they are in there. It's also fantastic that you know that the big round button is the one you press to hang up, you have made a number of people 'love' you for hanging up on them. I also really enjoy our afternoon snack together, usually it consists of crackers, fruit or cookies and we all (the dog with her snack included) sit together and have our time. I love it that even though you refuse to drink huge quantities from a bottle that you know exactly how it works, can even hold the bottle or a cup all by yourself and drink without my help. So in reality I really love that you are a bright kid. I love that I'll block a portion of the room and you'll still manage to find a way there, I love that if I put a chair in the way, you know that by pushing it you will be able to squeeze through.

It's crazy to think that you have now been with us for exactly the same amount of time that I was pregnant with you. To think that not only did I bring you to term (to the exact day) that you have almost tripled your birth size in the same amount of time. It's just amazing.

A new move that you discovered this past month getting from your tummy and crawling back into that original sitting position. You had been lingering back and forth for weeks now and one day you gave yourself that final push back and voila! Sitting! As if that wasn't enough you stand up. At a moments notice you will be standing and holding on to chairs, couches, boxes, the stairs which you are attempting to climb. Oh AND not only that, you now crawl with hands and knees and much less commando crawling which you resort to when you need to go quickly!

Just the other day you clearly said "Bye Bye" to Joanne. In fact any time someone leaves you say "Bye Bye", oh that's in addition to saying "up mama" or "up papa". Papa is new but you definitely know that it's your dad! J I tell you that we are going to get him from the train and you smile and say Papa. J

In other developments, teeth are a big one, nothing more has cut so you're still at 2, but I see the top 4 trying to break. In fact we see the white of all 4 of them and the swollen gums. I hope it's not too long for your sake!

So all in all it's been a good month, there have been days when you did drive me crazy let's face it. It was separation anxiety and you needed Mama all the time. I would hold and cuddle you and reassure you but you were so angry, I don't know if it was at me directly, but you would want to be in my arms then push me away, you really didn't know what you wanted. Let's just say those were a tough couple of weeks, but I think we made it through. It also helped that I got out of the house more often for work. It's a few hours a week, max 10 but that alone time with your Dad is healthy for you and him.

I'm sure there's more but I'll add it in my journals to keep track of all your changes.

I love you my son,

Forever your Mommy

Dear Kyle Ethan,

So I'm a little late with your 10 month letter. There really isn't any good excuse for my tardiness, except running after you 95% of the day that when I do get your nap time to myself, I usually join you. Let's just say you keep me on my toes oh little one. I'm either chasing you up the stairs; stopping you from playing in the dog bowl or the toilet bowl or having you not touch the telephone or DVD. Not pull things off the table or couch; not smacking the glass tables with hard objects; not eating dandelions or grass; or putting weird things in your mouth like dust bunnies or batteries from the remotes that you drop on the floor. My days are full. Some are hair pulling frustrating, while most are fun. You see you are pretty funny right now and most anything you do is text book baby. Like pulling off your crappy diaper by yourself and slinging it on…my new white bath towels. Yes, that one took a few weeks before I put it in the funny book.

The thing that has gotten most annoying over the past month is feeding you. Talk about difficult. In fact when it's time to eat I cringe. It's either one heck of a fight to put anything in your mouth, or the messiest affair you've ever did see. Most of the time I strip you down to feed you because of the sheer mess that results from you feeding yourself. Most people would assume you don't know how to, I beg to differ, anyone who has seen you take your spoon, dip it into the bowl and put it in your mouth without even getting messy knows you are well advanced. The thing is that after 10 minutes of perfect feeding yourself, slow but successful, is that you have this habit of rubbing your head and face when you get fed up of eating. The thing is that you more than likely also dipped your hands or fingers in the bowl with the spoon. So we end up with food everywhere. On the flip side, the bottle has become wonderful. It was at your 10 months mark that I weaned you completely. I stayed at 1 feeding for about a week, then just couldn't handle the 6 teeth you got at the same time. As much as I absolutely love you it just wasn't cutting it anymore. As a result though a pleasant development was the cuddles we share now. I just adore having you lie on me with your bottle and just relax while I sing to you or rub your tummy and stroke your hair. It's really special. I also like that it's much easier to feed you, there isn't anymore struggling or wrestling to keep you in one spot. I think if anything that is what got me so fed up of nursing in the first place. It was a constant struggle to keep your wiggling butt still. So all in all I'm glad I nursed you for 9 months exclusively and took a month to wean you. It has worked out well.

I guess that weaning you came at the time when you became increasingly active. When I say we chase you all day long I'm not exaggerating. When I say that my pre-pregnant clothes are loose, I'm not joking. You wear us out and you don't walk fully yet. You're almost there though, you stand and cruise along furniture, but you still rather sit to get to another part of the room. You have taken long stretches but you will only let go if the other hand is on something. Which is fine, because when your Dad and I have to run after you when you crawl because that's how fast you go, we can only imagine what it will be like when you run away. More than likely have to tie you to the dog. J

Let's see what else has changed, you have my hair, the curly thin fly away dirty blond hair. If you were curlier and blonder you would be like your Dad's - nice and thick hair. Your eyes are still piercing blue, and if you haven't heard it a million times "oh those beautiful eyes". You've gotten much taller, wearing and stretching 18 months, but your tiny little waist barely keeps up 12 month size. Broad shoulders, tiny waist and tall, you're a little man! J

As for playing, you still love your dog to play with. The fact she fetches the balls and toys you toss just tickles your fancy. You also love to "read" with Mommy, that is I'm reading in the rocking chair while you are on the ground with your book and reading too. It's a rare quiet time in day that we share. It usually also only lasts about as long as it takes you to flip the book pages a couple of times before you want to share what I'm reading. So you sit on my lap (while I try convincing you that ripping pages is not functional) and I read to you. There are times that you act so grown up that I get a small lump in my throat.

My favorite moments this month, watching you in awe of cookie monster at the 1st b-day party, having you insist on feeding yourself and you doing it properly, you finally petting Casey nicely and not ripping her fur out. There are tons more but these are the few that come to mind.

I love you always my little prince,

Your Mommy

Dear Baby Boy,

Sure I know you're not a baby anymore but it's the last official time I can say my baby boy. Don't get me wrong though, you'll be my baby boy forever, but that's different. My baby boy, 11 months have flown by and in a few short weeks you'll be 1. Amazing. You're simply amazing in every way. By the way you fill me up with joy, to way you develop so quickly, to the way you took your first unassisted steps towards me and fell into my arms to give me a hug. What made that moment extra special was that both your father and I were with you and witnessed it. Baby boy, you do things that just have us laughing so hard we have tears rolling down our cheeks, like having your Papa wash your face with running water and his hands, and having you stick your hands in the water and washing his face. Surely it isn't what a baby does, rather what a little boy does.

All the little things my little boy does:

L'ange de mon coeur,

A year ago I was holding you in my arms for the first time. Smelling you, kissing you, caressing your soft warm delicate body against my chest, feeling your heart beat against mine, feeling your breath and getting lost in those deep midnight blue eyes.

Tonight, I held you against my chest to feel your breath and heartbeat against me, rocked you back and forth, kissed you and ran my fingers through your wisps of dirty blond hair and got lost once again in your now light crystal blue eyes.

You are the greatest gift I have ever had and my love for you is fierce yet tender. It goes from the depths of the deepest oceans to the ends of the farthest universes, and back, and then some...

Today on your birthday we celebrate not only you and your birth, but the precious gift you are to us. Even with all the gifts and birthday wishes you received, I sincerely feel that you are the best gift of all. You bring me so much laughter, pride and joy.

My wish for you is that you may be blessed and guided through the path of your life, that every day you know and feel loved, cared and supported.

Loving you always,

Your Mommy

July 22, 2006

My little prince,

Happy 1st Birthday!!! Sweetheart, precious child of mine, angel of my soul, it's been 1 year!

Imagine that 1 year ago exactly now, a few minutes before giving birth I didn't know who you were, what you looked like, and I surely didn't know how having you in my life was going to change me. You altered my core, my soul, you added another perfect puzzle piece to completing my heart, something that I already thought to be complete. Meeting you and having you in my life this past year has changed me in the most wonderful and fulfilling way.

Today was a rainy, rare cool day giving us a little break from the heat and humidity we've had. Compared to last year's perfect day it was much different but still enjoyable. I remember how perfect it was and how fortunate I was that I witnessed the entire rising of the full moon, the eventual setting of it to bring on the beautiful sunrise and eventual sunset of that day with a bright rainbow over Mount Royal. So today wasn't as perfect to enjoy the child pool we setup, but it brought a welcomed cool breeze to make for a very pleasant party. In fact I must say it was a hit of a party and I was blessed to have much help from your Omi who prepared the fruit plates and sandwiches. Your Nona brought homemade pizza, and there were some nibblies like chips and nachos. In all we were 22 family and friends who got together to celebrate your 1st birthday and indulge in the traditional chocolate cake that I made. That's right, I went the classic route and wouldn't have it any other way. I respect all other moms who choose not to give chocolate cake, or even cake for that matter, but for me it was my decision to have you delight in this chocolate moment. So I was up until all hours last night making you layers of Swiss chocolate cake, including your own. This morning it was finalized with a layer of vanilla icing in the middle, and covered with whipped chocolate icing and from the compliments I received I know it was a yummylicious hit.

Unwrapping your gifts was somewhat clouded by the cell phones that the other children were playing with and the tissue paper had captured your attention more than the actual presents themselves. This was somewhat expected so I unwrapped all the wonderful things you were given, including wonderful toys, toutous like a soft cuddly dog that you apparently love to lie on, great PJs, outfits, and even a sports jacket! Books, a bath toy, an airplane and even a German soccer jersey (courtesy Omi). You even received 3 beautiful cards and a package in the mail that we picked up today. You indeed were spoiled and there are many sincere thank you cards to send out as we appreciate everything that was given.

After we opened the gifts and thanked everyone you sat in your high chair to delight in your cake. Immediately you stuck your 2 fingers in the side of the big cake while we sang happy birthday. After I made a special wish for you and blew out your 1 candle, I gave you your mini cake that I made and you proceeded to stick all your fingers in the icing and wiggle them. You sat there very content for quite some time before it struck you to put a finger in your mouth, and when you did I swear you sucked so hard that your toes must have tingled. By the end, you successfully had cake all over your nose, but you weren't as messy as you sometimes get. It did warrant a quick rinse in the tub since you managed to hide icing in the weirdest places and a jump in the tub was the only way to ensure all was clean.

I'm glad that you had a nice long nap in the late morning so you lasted the entire time without too much fussing. The cake and weird eating habits didn't seem to disturb you much either as you snacked on the fruit plate, tuna sandwiches and homemade Italian tomato pizza. I'm really glad your flexible, the only thing you demanded was milk, but it was completely understandable, you were in the middle of eating chocolate and chocolate cake without milk just isn't right.

I should also mention the awesome decorations that we had, your sister and brother spent a good portion of their morning blowing balloons, tying strings and putting up streamers. Your grandpapa also picked out and brought over 5 helium balloons that you had a blast letting go and making your sister retrieve them for you.

The last of the guests left by 6:30pm after helping clean up and finishing the leftover snacks and within an hour you were snuggled in my arms with your blanket and I was rocking you into dream land after a very exciting and fun birthday. I hope that your dreams tonight are filled with your angels and guardians celebrating your first year of life.

In terms of an update, this past month you showed off your first unassisted steps, but have since preferred the much quicker method of travelling on hands and feet like a little monkey. You occasionally just stand there but then realize that you only have 2 feet on the ground and no other parts of the body and quickly put the bum back down and take off. You are much too busy exploring and playing to concentrate on something like walking which will take up your precious time. Your new words include "puppy", "duck", "quack quack", and my favorite "uh oh". You sometimes say "mihl" for milk and you definitely learned the value of your index fingers and pointing to things you want. Your tantrums are much better now than they were a few weeks ago, in fact they are few and far between. You still have the same 8 teeth that you had at 10 months and I didn't expect you to get any more soon after 6 came out at the same time. Your skin is also so much better, your father and I have worked really hard to find a method to control your eczema, you still get the small flare up on a cheek, but comparatively speaking your skin is baby soft. The trick is the cream and the timing of the application. We slather you head to toe (not missing any spots) right after a bath, within 2-5 minutes of getting out and the next morning things are under control.

This past week I introduced to you to whole milk and am now at half milk and half formula in your bottles. You body seems to be adjusting, there were a few days of messy diapers, then a few days of nothing, but your system is working out the kinks. As for eggs, well the cake today had them and you didn't seem to have a problem whatsoever. So the 2 big things on my list seem to have been introduced, everything else is minor really, you've eaten all sorts of fruits, kiwis, strawberries, plums, nectarines, cantalope, watermelon, blueberries, you love orange juice with pulp. Vegetables are good too, but you just didn't like the zucchini the other night, something that you used to inhale. You absolutely love broccoli, cauliflower, green and yellow beans. I've been pretty lenient in terms of what you can eat, it's more the format that I've been careful of for example I'd peel all the fruit like plums and grapes, until recently I realized you can manage it.

You love playing piano, you can spend hours sitting on either Melyssa or I and will hit the notes and dance to what you play. You occasionally clap when we're playing and that greatly encourages your sister. What I love is that you'll climb at the stairs at lightening speed, go straight into the room, take off the cover and hit the keys until we turn it on. Naturally you know the on button so once you can reach on our laps your fingers are already on it.

I think the most wonderful thing about having my baby become a boy is the way you interact and become a part of our lives. Just today I was telling a story about you waving goodbye to everyone at the table and as soon as I said "bye bye" from way across the room you said "bye bye" and waved to me. You listen to everything, you are aware of everything, you see everything that goes on. You even stretch your neck out to peek at things that catch your attention and will crawl to investigate. My curious monkey boy you are, a sign of intelligence they say.

Thank you Kyle Ethan. Thank you my little prince for bringing me such intense and pure joy, thank you for being so wonderful that I beam with pride at the thought of you, thank you for making this past year so special, thank you for changing my life.

I love you with all my heart and soul, and then some…

Forever yours,

Mommy