I realized (again) that I hadn’t posted of any of the events that were planned and executed upon in the last couple of months. January had the Family Disney Trip, February had me returning to Emeryville for a week followed by a weekend jaunt to Chicago to visit my extended family and led into Chantale’s birthday celebrations (yes, multiple :)) and then Melyssa’s birthday celebrations (also multiple!) 🙂
So, there were a lot of emotions and thoughts running through my head these last couple of months about getting older (and now actually looking back on old photos of me as a child with true nostalgia, almost seeing them in a completely new light) as well as doing “more” of the things I love.
As much as I want to share further on what’s bouncing around my head in regards to getting older (more those around me than myself), I think what’s pushing me a lot lately has been creativity and the need to create.
Back in January, a friend of mine sent me his new CD (“Lucky Drive” by OceanRoyal) and then afterwards, talking to him about it (the making of it, the difference with the first CD, playing gigs, studio collaboration, etc) made me really miss that period of my life. However, no longer being part of a band makes it harder to re-live 🙂 Of course, being a writer with manuscripts to polish off and set free, that’s where I can put energy towards.
The same feelings hit me when I went to see Serena Ryder in concert and got to hang out at the foot of the stage. Watching her up there and grooving with the music, getting caught up in the energy of the band made me want to get my own stage and rock out… But, again, no longer having a band puts a curve on that rush, so the next best thing is writing.
See, for the last year or so, I’ve had to focus on “bringing home the bacon” and taking care of my family. Having devoted all my available time to carving out a new career, there was very little time to think about my own creativity. Whatever small time I could find went to help out my fellow writers as I worked on collaborations and did a lot of copy editing and proof reading. It was enough to make me feel connected while I helped roll out a huge and very satisfying project to Canada.
Now, however… blame it on Spring, or on things moving along at an even pace, or that I’ve just been filled with external creativity and energy… but it’s not enough. I *need* to get some words down. I need to see those scenes in my head played out “on paper”. I need to share the discussions and situations characters are going through.
This means, of course, that unless I can make time for myself to sit down and write creatively again… I’m just going to explode. And that won’t be pretty 🙂